What's a Foo Tasian?

Another Beautiful Day on the Island

2010-09-24T16:32:00.001-04:00

Always beautiful.

I'm surprised it hasn't exploded yet.

2009-01-26T13:54:00.000-05:00

It's been outside since the beginning of November.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

If living in Chicago is crazy...

2009-01-15T18:13:00.001-05:00

...then it's a mass delusion.

A day at the beach

2009-01-12T14:32:00.001-05:00

One out of two knees agree

2009-01-06T10:46:00.000-05:00

I should not have biked in to work this morning.

Top 10 Sci-fi Movies...as rated by me.

2008-12-29T19:47:00.003-05:00

And now, because my wife challenged me to it, my top 10 sci-fi movies (in no particular orders)...

Star Wars (A New Hope)
The Matrix
Back to the Future
Tron
Terminator 2
Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Khan
ET
The Last Starfighter
Predator
Superman

There were some obvious choices that would probably be on the list, had I ever seen them. This list includes The Day the Earth Stood Still, Alien, etc.

Chicago Weather

2008-12-22T14:28:00.001-05:00

Say what you will about Chicago in the winter. It's cold, windy, snow-filled and did I mention cold? The one thing it's not though, is a dark dreary affair.

Properly equipped, it's almost enjoyable. It's a half mile walk to the L stop and Clare and I chose to walk the whole way...in -2 deg weather...and -15 degree windchill. All because we are properly equipped.

People often complain about the winters here, and rightfully so. It can be deathly cold here, and that does limit what we can do outdoors. That being said, it does clear out the tourists and the bars aren't nearly as overrun with riff raff, so we have that going for us. Additionally the entire city looks like a North Face ad. (Not sure if that's a plus or minus though)

All in all, I'll take winters here over anywhere else. Really, if you don't pay your dues with a winter you'll never really appreciate the summer.

Why Christmas gifts came early this year

2008-12-16T17:56:00.000-05:00

People I hate

2008-12-16T13:26:00.001-05:00

What is it about being on the train that brings out the worst in humanity? Take for instance the chain caller. Like their smoking brethren, they string their calls into a seemingly never ending chain of annoyance.

They come in a wide variety. There are the social directors, those lucky few that seem to be coordinating events more complicated than the Normandy landing (incidentally this type of chain caller inspired today's entry). Is a night out at Chili's really that important that the rest of the train needs to hear about it? If there is a benefit to this type of caller it's that you can be sure to be where they are not.

Other types are the relationship therapists, the playboys and the workaholics. Whike the motivation for their calling is different, the end result is always the same. Please, do us all a favor and learn to use text messaging.

The new new hotness

2008-12-11T09:22:00.001-05:00

Can I just say that I love my new crackberry? I'm writing this on the train as I go to work.

Speaking of work, our authentication system is giving me fits again. Last time this happened it took three days to sort out. I'm hoping they don't take too long with this one, but something tells me that won't be the case.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

IMG00002.jpg

2008-12-08T16:28:00.001-05:00

This is my view at work. Not bad, but I'd rather be at home.

Movie Time!

2008-03-01T10:29:00.002-05:00

I've loved going to the movies since I was a kid. I can still remember going to the movies with my dad to watch whatever the latest action movie was. We'd stop off and get a couple of personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut and then head over to the theater. Obviously this is way back when they only sold popcorn, candy and pop at the theater, but I digress.

Movies back then were fun and exciting, mostly because I was a nine year old and I liked watching things blow up. Well, I'm twenty nine now and nothing has changed. When it comes to movies I have a short list of criteria that will get me in the theater.

There better be a fight scene, explosion or car chase every 20 minutes
The hero better be likeable, and by likeable I mean he better be a kick ass fighter, have some kind of awesome weapon, or be a general bad ass.
The villain should be just as bad assed as the hero, and possibly more charismatic.
The hero better get the girl at the end, and that girl better be hot.
The story line should be so outlandish that you have no choice but to check your disbelief at the door and enjoy the ride.

With that being said, there are a few movies out there that are already making me wish Summer was here. In no particular order, here are the movies I'm going to drag Clare to this Summer.

Iron Man

Indiana Jones

Get Smart

Wanted

The Dark Knight

I swear it wasn't me

2008-02-04T15:46:00.000-05:00

Garrett and I were talking the other day about things that bother us at work. He was telling me that he hates it when, as he's washing his hands, another guy comes in, takes a stall and starts cluster bombing the place. Meanwhile, he's hurriedly washing and drying your hands, trying to get out of there before the bombing raid starts. Inevitably he doesn't make it and is caught in the carnage.

While admittedly annoying, I wouldn't go so far as saying that it's something I hate. At least you're given a fighting chance of getting out of the war zone before the artillery starts to fall. What bothers me more is when you're not even given that chance.

Case in point, last week I went to the men's room to wash my hands after spilling some of my soft drink on them. As soon as I walked in I was assaulted by the fragrance of "eau de fat-guy-from-the-floor-below-us-that-uses-our-bathroom." Well, I figure that I'm already there and I can't unsmell what I just smelled, so I may as well go about my business and finish washing my hands.

Well, half way through my hand washing a couple of guys from another department walk into the same smell I did but then shoot me a look of "Good Lord, what dead animal did you just expel from your body?"

I couldn't say a word. Really, what are you supposed to do? Anything you say is just going to shine a spotlight on your guilt. So I didn't say anything and now there are people out there that think I poop sewer rats covered in week old stewed cabbage, and there's nothing I can do about it.

The Story

2007-12-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in a while, but hopefully this will tide people over until I have more time.

Now with more photo goodness.

7 Across - Goes with Holy or Ohio (6 letters)

2007-10-28T09:31:00.000-04:00

Ordinarily I don't go in for a lot of PBS or documentaries, but when your girlfriend doesn't have cable you make due with what you have. Case in point, last week Clare and I were hanging out and came across Wordplay on channel 11 (PBS in Chicago). Surprisingly, I had heard of this particular documentary.

Wordplay is about the culture surrounding crossword puzzles, the New York Times version in particular. They talk to Will Shortz, the editor of the NYTimes crossword, as well as creators, and solvers. Everything culminates in the yearly competition in Stamford, which seriously competes with Trekkie conventions on the nerdiness scale. Anyway, it's a good movie and I definitely recommend checking it out.

The surprising thing about the movie though, is that it rekindled my interest in crosswords. Luckily enough we get the New York Times at work, so I have access to the mother of all puzzles. There's something cathartic about folding up the paper and filling in the blanks. You also get this strange sense of satisfaction or pride by filling it out in pen as well. It's proven to be a great respite from the workday, especially since things are only going to get busier till the end of the year.

So now, Clare and I go through the crosswords. I'll e-mail her the NYTimes version or bring it with me from work. It's a good time, or at least as good a time as one can have without cable.

Welcome Surprises

2007-07-11T15:10:00.000-04:00

There are few surprises that I enjoy more than getting Jimmy John’s sub and discovering that the bread was warm and just out of the oven. I already consider Jimmy John’s as my number one sub (an honor it just barely won over Potbelly’s*), but to add warm crusty bread to the equation just blows the competition out of the water.

We tried figure out the best time to get warm bread at Jimmy John’s in college, but never really got there. Unless we went there right as it opened, we almost never get the warm loaves and that was impossible because of class. (What? I went to class. Seriously, I did.)

Anyway, I was fortunate enough to get a warm french loaf today. Add that to the beautiful weather and my boss being out sick today, and you’ve got the makings of a perfect work day.

So here’s to you Jimmy John’s! If only I could decipher your warm, doughy mysteries, everyday would be as good as today.

* Now, for the ultimate sandwich one would need to combine the bread from Jimmy John’s, the recipe for a Wreck from Potbelly’s using Jimmy John’s meat, and a splash of Sbarro’s marinara sauce. Add curly fries from Arby’s and a vanilla coke from Steak ‘N Shake and you have the perfect storm of fast food meals.

New York Photos

2007-05-30T11:46:00.000-04:00

New York Photo Albums
Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Hotel

How not to be a middle aged woman from Phoenix

2007-05-29T19:57:00.000-04:00

On our way into the city from Laguardia, we shared a Town Car with two ladies from Phoenix. They were very nice, and friendly. We talked about how it was my first time to New York and how they had been before. After we got dropped off at our hotel, I turned to Clare and said that I didn’t want to be anything like them during our trip to New York, and I’m not talking about the coordinating pastel Capri outfits that they were wearing, the gold jewelry they were sporting, or the fact that they looked like they would pass out after walking four blocks to get to the Sbarro’s on Times Square. (Sure, there’s probably a Sbarro’s a block away from their hotel, but this one is Mama Sbarro’s, so it has to be better.)

No, it was more about not wanting to be a tourist, or rather a bad tourist. You’ve seen them, the standing in the middle of the street, pointing in two different directions, holding a map and completely blocking the sidewalk for all the people trying to go about their daily routine. The people that get sucked into going on the observation deck tour, when they could have just as easily gone to the bar a couple of floors down for free (or the price of a drink). Well, I just didn’t want to go out like that and thankfully Clare would never have let me.

So it became our resolve, we want to look like we were from there, that we belonged. And it wasn’t solely due to the Phoenicians. When we thought about it, with the increased nationalization and globalization of restaurant and store chains, it’s becoming harder and harder to find the true character of city. When every block has a Starbucks, McDonald’s, a Chase and a Bank of America, how do you even know you’re in a different city?

To find out we, skipped most of the obvious things, i.e. tours, department store shopping areas, and to my relief I was able to glimpse, if even for a second, a truer version of New York than the manufactured, plastic wrapped version that so many tourists get.

So what did I gain from that glimpse? Well, I know why Clare loved it so much and why she compared everything her first few months in Chicago to New York. While it will never be my favorite city, a spot reserved for the Chi, I have new found respect for NYC. I can totally see myself living there, but only for a short time. I’m glad I went, and also glad we didn’t end up like those ladies from Phoenix, if only because I look horrible in pastels.

A Chicagoan’s Guide to a Weekend in New York

2007-05-29T19:56:00.000-04:00

Now, for those that may be planning trips to New York, here is what I've learned in my first trip.

What you absolutely need:

Comfortable shoes. The average Manhattanite walks five miles a day. If you can’t hack it, you’re going to spend a ton in cab fares.

A good city map that shows the subway lines. Clare lived in New York for almost a year and she still needed to refer to a map. I don’t know how many maps I saw, but it seemed like everyone had one, even the locals. It‘s not that the system is that complicated, it‘s just that there are so many different lines and so many streets you’ll need it to keep it straight.
The latest Zagat’s. I was never a big proponent of Zagat’s, mostly because it was a print publication and the way restaurants opened and closed, it didn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense when the internet was right there. Here’s the thing, New York doesn’t have a Metromix.com, so this becomes the defacto way to find restaurants in the city. Man, do they do a good job. Any type of category you could think up, from best view to hottest servers, is in there.

A hotel on the island. Do not stay in any of the other boroughs or, heaven help you, New Jersey. You’re going to be walking around enough, doing enough, buying enough, that you’re going to want a home base close to everything. This is not up for discussion.

Other things that were nice to have:

Hotel with internet access.
Travel companion who’s lived there.
Latest Time Out: New York

What’s going to get you

Size: Imagine if you took the Loop, Lincoln Park, the Gold Coast, Wrigleyville and Bucktown, threw them into a box, shook it up and let the pieces fall. Now double the number of buildings and any building under eight stories, double its height. You are now approximating Manhattan.
Garbage: They have no alleys, no dumpsters and no weekend service. All the garbage goes on the sidewalk after the store or restaurant closes. Walk around Korea town and you will experience what I can only imagine the trash compactor in Star Wars smelled like. It's no wonder the city is as dirty as it and they have as many rats as they do.

Central Park: Huge. This is the first word that comes to mind when thinking of Central Park. Luckily we had very good weather while we were out there and were able to walk about half the length of the park (it starts at 59th St. and goes to 110th, I think we made it to 80th). The juxtaposition of the office buildings to sprawling park was shocking. What really struck me was the fact that the way the trees, rolling hills, boulders, and paths were laid out made it seem as though the park had always been there and the city just grew up around it.

Clare Contemplating Pizza

2007-05-29T19:55:00.000-04:00

Mmmmm...pizza.

ALO @ Martyrs 5/24/07

2007-05-25T00:03:00.000-04:00

This was one of the best shows I've ever been to. If you're a Jack Johnson fan you probably already know of Zach Gill, the keyboardist and vocalist on the last couple albums Jack put out. In addition to performing with Jack, he is in the band Animal Liberation Orchestra (ALO) with friends from his college days at UCSB. They signed with Johnson's Brushfire Records and released Fly Between Falls, and their latest Roses & Clovers.

I'm not sure how to describe their music, but the best I can put it is that it's a cross between Stevie Ray Vaughn and Phish with a splash of P-Funk, Marley and mariachi music. I know that probably sounds weird, but to be honest I'm probably not doing a very good job of describing them. What I can say is that everyone that I've let listen to my copy of their last album has ended up loving it.

Awesome does not go far enough to describe how good this show was. I've never seen a group attack a set list the way that they did. Even though the bar was packed, the air conditioner was busted and the temp inside the bar had to be in the 90's, the band never let up. In fact they played two sets, with an intermission, and an encore. Inspite of the heat, the crowd, and the fact that it was a school night, Clare and I couldn't bear to leave such a good show. You could tell how much they enjoyed performing together and how much they loved the audience's enthusiasm for their music. The last time I saw anything like it was at the Jack Johnson concert I went to a couple of years ago.

Clare and I vowed to drag as many of our friends out to see them when they come back to town. I'm not sure when that will be, but we will definitely be there. In the meantime you can check out pictures and a couple (low quality) videos that I took at the show.

Oh, those crazy Singers

2007-04-16T16:59:00.000-04:00

The Singers came, they saw, they conquered. Superfriend Maegan, Jack, Jeff, and Sarah were in town for a weekend visit with Clare. While I'm sure she is very grateful that everyone showed up, I know that my liver is not.

Seriously though, it was nice to have the roles reversed for once. Usually Clare gets to sit around and listen to all of us reminisce about days gone by, and for once I got to hear stories from her college days.

Thanks to everyone that came out, and I'll bet you all the beer in my fridge that you'll want to do it again...just not to soon for my liver's sake.

(Oh, the video above has nothing to do with the weekend, I just didn't have a camera with me most of the time. So, enjoy that little clip from the last reunion.)

Da recap, da recap. Wha, wha, the recap.

2007-03-28T16:16:00.000-04:00

A few insights from the past few months…

There are three things I am proud of at work.

1) My perfect week picking winners for our NFL pool
2) Starting the company softball team
3) Designing, implementing and launching our new Web site.

I know, I’m not sure how actual work got onto this list either.

Cesar Milan could get Scooby to kick his addiction to scooby snacks. If you aren’t watching "The Dog Whisperer" on National Geographic, you’re missing some of the best TV on … um … TV.
I just read Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. Excellent book if you haven’t read it yet. I had delusions of going to culinary school and becoming a chef, but not after reading this.
Civilization is one of the most addicting games ever created.
I just got a new laptop and I’m not sure why I never went wireless before. Now I can surf the interwebs from my couch, or from my love seat or from my arm chair. Wait…I did all that stuff with my desktop already. Well, at the very least it serves as a very expensive lap warmer.
I’m amazed at how much from my old NES days I remember. For example, in Mega Man 3, holding down on the second controller “down” button allows Mega Man to super jump. Also, in Super Mario 3, you can get a star at the end of each level by jumping at a 45 degree angle right at the bottom left corner of each “randomized” cube. I remember all that, but not how to derivate the area of a circle using calculus.
We have gotten worse at executing planned day-long drinking events. Case-in-point, St. Patrick’s Day. The plan was to head to Emily’s (Piro’s keeper) apartment for kegs and eggs, which we did. The casseroles were excellent, as was the green beer. For some unknown reason we thought it would be a good idea to go to a bar, because…you know…no one does that on St. Patrick’s day in Chicago. It went all down hill from there and ended with me playing Civilization at 7:30 p.m. after calling it a night. What the hell happened to us?
Shaving my head was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Now if Garrett could just learn to do an Uptown fade, I’d be set.
Yeah, you read that right. I shaved my head.

More to come, including St. Pat’s pictures and my Mohawk.

Four Days in March

2007-03-15T16:11:00.000-04:00

I'd just like to say that I am currently in a bar, taking advantage of a $20 all-you-can-drink special watching the NCAA basketball tournament. I've already earned my money back and I'm currently trying to convince my buddy to hit on the waitress. Good times.

I love March Madness and the best part is that I'm doing it all again tomorrow.

Where are my shorts?

2007-02-20T17:42:00.000-05:00

It's 43 degrees outside and it's like a heatwave. Seriously, I'm ready to break my shorts out of storage. We've been stuck in sub-average, sub-zero, sub-human weather for nearly a month. Just last week, Clare blogged about it being -4 out, now it's nearly 50. Ahhh, Chicago weather, you gotta love it.

I will say though, this being my first winter without a car, I am enjoying it. Sure, it sucks having to go over to the local grocery store for my foodstuffs as opposed to the Dominick's that I'm used to. It wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that

Their bell peppers look like they've been kept in someone's trunk for a couple of weeks before they make it to the store.
They only have rotisserie chickens on Mondays, and by 5:30 they've been under a heater for four to five hours.
They're trying to work a "Target Greatland" kind of angle and it's not working. In the past month they've had TV/DVD combos, motorized scooters, propane grills, closet organizers, vacuums and Super Bowl merchandise on sale next to the produce section.
Their ground beef is a nice reddish-pink...for the first quarter inch or so. Once you get inside it's all brown. I don't know what that means, but I don't like it.

Now on the other hand, the Big Apple store just south of me gets things right. The produce is always fresh, although the produce manager can be a bit creepy sometimes, and they're just there selling food. I would head over here more often, but their meat counter is so good I'd probably blow my entire food budget on steaks (on second thought, that doesn't sound like a bad idea).

I digress, enough about the grocery stores in my neighborhood. Winter has been colder than I can remember it being in a long time. Clare kept saying last winter that it wasn't so bad. She isn't say that anymore. Luckily though, she has Big Coat and I have Puffy Coat, so we've managed to stay warm.

All that's over now, at least for the next week anyway. It's supposed to be in the high 30s, which means I can go out with just my wool coat and a scarf, as opposed to a sweater, puffy coat, two pairs of gloves and a knit hat or two. Hopefully the weather will hold, but this being Chicago I'm not holding my breath.

I've meandered a bit in this post, but I think that's because I can finally feel my fingers again. To those of you braving the cold, good luck and stay warm. If you're in a more temperate locale, I'll hold my tongue before I say something ungentlemanly. Meanwhile, I'm off to look for those shorts.

Nostalgia

2007-01-27T09:26:00.000-05:00

It's become increasily more difficult to find the strands of my past in the fabric of my current life. I know they're there, but they've become just a few of the many woven in. Finding the time to single them out and follow them back offers a glimpse into who I was at the time and how much I've changed.

This morning I've been somewhat nostalgic. There are a few reasons for this, the first of which is my old roommate Chris. Chris and his wife Cindy moved to Indianapolis well over a year ago, and will be having their first child very soon. I thought when my friends got married it blew my mind, now they're having kids and becoming full fledged adults.

Chris was my step-twin since college. Drinking, checking out girls, grilling enormous steaks, watching sports and did I mention drinking? These were the things that we did with our time, and we generally did it together. But now he's married, to a great girl I might add, and now he's going to be a dad.

I haven't talked to Chris since we all went to Chambana for the OSU game. With everything that has been going on in both our lives we've both been stereotypically guy-like in this regard. There's the occasional e-mail and I'm sure I'll call to wish them congratulations when Ben/Emily is born. Clare and I definitely need to make it out to Indy for a visit, but probably not until things have settled down a bit for them.

Another reason for the nostlagia is one that stretches all the way back to junior high. I found out at Christmas that one of my oldest friends, Paul, moved down to St. Louis. I've probably talked to Paul once in the past year, so why I was surprised that I hadn't heard he moved I'm not sure.

I've known Paul since seventh grade and he was one of my best friends in high school and college. After numerous road trips for youth group, hanging out on weekends, and years of joking around, I'm finding it difficult to zero in on any one specific memory. Whether it was the "Ross & Rachel" like crush that lasted between him and another member of our youth group, that he strapped a video camera to his head for one summer trip, or the mohawk that he shaved into his head before junior pictures,* there are just too many to choose from.

After I moved into the city, Paul and I saw less of each other. It's weird how far 30 miles can be at times. We went from hanging out all the time to seeing each other once a month, to every couple of months, to just at holidays, to where we're at right now.

With all the current demands on my time and attention I live firmly in the present, but at times it feels like I've been cut-off from my past. But that's never really true. True friends, like the ones I've had and currently have, never truly go away. One just needs to find them time to follow the strands back (or make a phone call every once in a while).

*Nohawks can be fun, even as a joke. Paul shaved one into his head at the start of soccer practice junior year. The plan was to keep it for the week and then shave it off for his yearbook photo. Well a week of outdoor practice and no sunscreen later you can imagine the results. Paul looked like a skunk. I think we finally got him some spray on tan, but the look on his face when he took off his hat the first time to show us was hilarious.

It's been so long I think I've forgotten how to do this.

2007-01-10T11:49:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I last updated so to catch everyone up I'll just bullet point the past few months out.

Thanksgiving: I ate too much and had fun with the family.
December: Went by entirely too quickly
Dad's birthday: Woo-hoo! 61 years under your belt. Way to go Dad!
Christmas: Clare and I spent it together at my parents' house on Xmas eve and with her family in Evansville on Xmas day. Lots of great presents, lots of time in the car, lots of family and no major arguments...not too bad in my opinion.
New Year's Eve: Before leaving for Florida, Clare scored tickets for the Bears game. After watching them lose I think I can think of better ways to spend that $75. Still, it was fun to have something to do that night other than gourge myself for another day.

Whew, with the major stuff out of the way I can elaborate on a couple of things that have been going on. First, I know I haven't been writing much here but I've been a bit wrapped up in The Show and the related goings on there. Once the football season is over I should get back into the swing of things over here at the FooTasian. That sentiment actually leads quite nicely into my second point, New Year's resolutions.

I'm not the type that usually makes New Year's resolutions. I've tried a few times to varying success. Also, having worked at a gym for the past few years I've seen waaaay too many people that have set unreachable goals for themselves. So put that all together and my excitement for the idea is lackluster at best. For some reason though, I've decided that I'll give it another try.

To that end I've decided on the following resolution: I will make 12, one month resolutions this year. I know, it sounds like cheating, but in the end I don't care. Trying to hold yourself to a year long goal can be daunting, so better to break it up into smaller parts and go from there.

What's my first resolution you ask? Well, I'll tell you. I've decided not to eat out for dinner more than once a week. Additionally I can't repeat a restaurant unless I've been to two others since the last time I went there.

I figure this resolution will kill many birds with one stone. First, it helps save money since I was going out to eat waaaaay too much. Second, the restaurants I had been going to inevitably ended up being the same ones I always went to. And last, this will encourage me to stay home and cook more, leading to leftovers, which lead to me not eating out as much for lunch either. All in all, not a bad deal. Plus Clare and I get to go to some cool restaurants along the way.

We'll see if I stick with this one after January, but so far things have looked promising. That's all for now. I'll check back in after the Bears win (crossing my fingers, knock on wood) this weekend.

U of I Pictures

2006-11-08T12:30:00.000-05:00

Welcomed Back with Open Arms

2006-11-08T12:18:00.000-05:00

To thy happy children
of the future
Those of the past
send greetings

It was a homecoming of sorts this past weekend when a bunch of my old friends and I made the trek down to Chambana (Champaign + Urbana = Chambana, or Shampoo Banana if you like) for the Ohio State – Illinois match-up. Illinois went into the game 26 point underdogs. How did they finish? Sure, they lost, but only by seven points and they sacked the OSU quarterback a number of times. All in all, there’s hope for the future of Illinois football.

Suffice it to say, with that kind of match-up we weren’t exactly there to watch the football game. We hadn’t all been together in some time so we thought this would be as good a time as any to all hang out and reminisce of our glory days at Illinois. On top of that, I was able to take Clare around campus this time with me.

Things are pretty much the same on campus as when I was there. The Quad still looks the same, the Alma Mater (pictured above) is still in one piece, and the Morrow Plots are still next to the Undergrad. There were however, small details that seemed out of place. For instance, they now have a Chipotle, Noodles & Co., Potbelly, and Starbucks on campus. How, exactly, are college kids supposed to afford these things? I could barely afford La Bamba’s and a Murph burger while I was in school. Now they have actual eating establishments on campus? Ridiculous.

Other than that and a few small things, things really haven’t changed. Girls still forego coats in the middle of the winter on their way to the bar, guys are still drunk meatheads, and you can still see them all walk home at 9 o’clock the next morning. The Murphy’s mega bacon cheeseburger is still tops, although their fries can be a bit hit or miss at times. You can still get three t-shirts for the price of one at T.I.S. and beer is still cheap as hell down there.

Really the only thing missing was Preacher Dan on the Quad and everyone running after Thunder for his mandatory ass beatings. It was a good time and hopefully we’ll do it again, but with kids here and on the way, those trips may have to wait a little while. It was nice to go back to where so much had happened, that home away from home from so long ago. I really was a happy child of the past, and I have the memories and friends to prove it.

Prep Unit

2006-11-01T15:25:00.000-05:00

You may have already seen this, but it's worth another look.

Hiro's a Ninja!

2006-10-26T17:38:00.000-04:00

Well, since it’s my turn to update my blog I thought I would talk about my new favorite TV show, NBC’s Heroes. I can’t say enough about this show. It’s well written, suspenseful, about “superheroes,” and the special effects make it seem like a big budget movie every week. Add to that the diverse cast and good acting and it can’t be beat.

In case you haven’t been watching here’s a quick rundown: Ordinary people are discovering they have special powers that make them more than ordinary. Meanwhile in the background, forces are orchestrating events to advance their agendas while the fate of everyone in New York and possibly the world hangs in the balance. Whew! How can you not love that? (Have I mentioned that Ali Larter is an online porn star?)

Scripted TV is finally coming back in a big way. Other than Project Runway (which I gave a try since Clare so openly embraced football), I can’t watch reality television shows. Unfortunately that seemed to be the only thing on for a while. Now there’s this, Battlestar Galactice on Sci-Fi (which is another must see) and 24 comes back at the start of the year. I am soooo glad that I bought the new TV, because this season is going to be awesome.

Anyway, back to Heroes. I have to say that Hiro Nakamura is my favorite for the following reasons:

He’s Asian and you really don’t see that too much on network TV.
His part is well written.
His powers are awesome. Time manipulation and teleportation, how can it get any better?
The actor portraying him, Masi Oka, does so with the wide-eyed wonderment and idealism of a child. Not to mention he has degrees in mathematics and computer science, and works for George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic.
He becomes a ninja!

In the end, I’m glad we started watching this show at the out set. The last thing I wanted was a repeat of the Lost situation…everyone jumps on and says you have to watch because it’s soo good, but since you missed the first few episodes there’s a hard place to jump back in and you end up never doing so. Well, I don’t think that’ll happen with Heroes. It’s highly accessible, they show repeats on Sci-Fi and on their website, and they do a good job bringing you along in the writing.

If you haven’t already started watching, I highly recommend doing so.

p.s. – If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, it’s been here. The podcast is going pretty well. Our subscriptions keep increasing and now we’re starting to reach out to sponsors. I will warn you though, it’s not for the faint of heart. After a few beers my friends can get a teensy bit foul mouthed.

Return of the Super Blog

2006-08-07T18:02:00.000-04:00

Ok so it’s been a while since I last updated my blog. That’s mostly been due to the fact that it’s summer in Chicago and while it lasts I spend as much time outside as possible. What about work you ask? Well, they’ve actually figured out a way to keep me busy for the past month or so, so in-office updating hasn’t been as frequent as I would have liked.

So, where do we go from here? Why don’t I just cover everything that’s happened since my last substantive post.

1) In late June I visited Dennison University for the first time. Clare was there for a Dennis Singers reunion and I went to cheer her on. After a dapper introduction to the group, we proceeded back to the dorm room for a rousing game of Yee Haw! and beer pong (which I must add, I am ridiculously good at). The concert was very good, although Clare thought that one of the other sopranos was loud and half a step flat. On top of everything, I got to meet some of Clare’s friends, namely Jack, Sarah, Jeff and Leslie (yay Leslie!).

Leslie was nice enough to put us up for a night at her place so that we could all hang out. She’s just as snarky in person as she is in her blog, even more so once Clare and her got together. She did an excellent job entertaining and playing host and since I didn’t say it before I’ll say it now, thanks Leslie!

2) Fourth of July weekend was pretty ridiculous. Saturday was spent at the grassy knoll, having a few beverages and laying out. After a few hours and entirely too much alcohol sun we brought it in and hung out at Clare’s place. After an interesting dinner at the Melrose, I proceeded to lose my fastball in a spectacular way.

Sunday was spent out in the burbs attending Abigail Laurel Robinson’s baptism. Let me tell you, she is one pretty and well-behaved baby, so congratulations on that to Laurel and Jared.

On the third (Chicago’s traditional night to celebrate the nation’s birthday), we were able to head out to the Columbia yacht club and take in a good buffet and the city’s fireworks extravaganza. We all ended up with yacht club names, mine was Chaz and Clare’s was Buffy.

On the fourth we ended up back out at the grassy knoll for more laying out and that was that.

3) On July 8th, Clare and I caught Too White Crew at the Wrigleyville Summer block party. This cover band defies explanation, if only because its entire repertoire consisted of old school hip-hop. This deserves an entry of its own, so I’m leaving it at that.

4) The weekend of the 15th I head back out to the burbs and caught up with my old roommate Chris and his wife Cindy. They moved out to Indianapolis about a year ago now and have bought a house out in Fischer. Also, Chris and Cindy are expecting their first child early next year. With any luck he’ll have a girl and when she’s ready she can start dating guys just like her dad.

5) The big trip to Florida. This deserves its own entry, so let me just say right now that I had a great time and would definitely go back again, if only for the chance at a rematch between me and David versus Clare and Sharon at hand and foot.

6) I bought a new phone last weekend. So bye-bye Sprint, hello Verizon.

For those of you asking, “Where are all the pictures?” Well, those will be up at a later time. I’m working on a little something special for you guys, so just hold tight.

So to recap, July – very busy, but very fun.

(Blog updated, are you happy now Melissa?)

The Chaz

2006-07-06T12:56:00.000-04:00

More to come.

The 45 minute drive for everything…or why I’ll never live in California

2006-06-19T13:30:00.000-04:00

My family and I were in California this weekend to celebrate my grandmother’s 86th birthday. We try to make the trip every year recently, and spending time with our extended families is always a welcome diversion from the day-to-day grind. Every time that I’m out there someone, either a an aunt, uncle or cousin, inevitably asks me when I’m moving out there. Invariably, I give the same answer, “We’ll see.” In all honesty, the answer should be, “Once L.A. becomes more of a pedestrian city, I’ll consider it. Until then, there’s no way I’m putting up with that much traffic.”

As an example, here are the things that my cousin Mark and I did from the time he picked me up at LAX to the time he dropped me off at my aunt’s house Sunday afternoon.

1) LAX to his house.
2) Lunch at Shaka’s, a pretty good Hawaiian cuisine restaurant.
3) The mall to pick up gifts for my God children.
4) Met up with his girlfriend while she had lunch with friends.
5) Hung out at her house.
6) Went to my aunt’s house.
7) Went to In-n-Out
8) Hung out at the Spectrum boardwalk in Irvine.
9) Back to Mark’s.
10) The next morning we went to REI.
11) Then to Sports Chalet
12) Back to Mark’s.
13) My grandmother’s party
14) My other aunt’s house.
15) The movie theatre.
16) Back to Mark’s.
17) Church on Sunday morning.
18) My other aunt’s house.

Now keep a few things in mind. First, everywhere we went was either in L.A. or Orange counties. Second, this was over the course of a day and a half. Last, the cheapest gas price I saw (for premium) was $3.47 a gallon. Now take a guess at how many miles we logged and how long we were in the car.

Milage: a) 80-149 miles, b) 150-249 miles, c) 250-450 miles
Hours in the car: a) 2-4 hours, b) 5-8 hours, c) 9-12 hours

Have you guessed yet? No, ok I’ll wait.

….

….

We topped out at just over 380 miles in almost 12 hours in the car. Look at that list and tell me you couldn’t get most of that done in Chicago in a quarter the milage and half the time. On top of that, Mark gassed up twice while I was there and spent nearly $50 each time. That is the main reason why I could never live in California. I would go nuts spending that much time in any car let alone my own.

Everything in Southern California is built around the car culture. There’s a mediocre, at best, attempt at mass transit in what’s the second largest city in the nation. I think they have all of two rail lines. Everyone drives, the interstates are massive, and I think I have black lung now due to the smog.

Mark was telling me that one of the interstates we were on is being expanded. I looked out, it was already six lanes in each direction (five for regular traffic, and one for the carpoolers.) Honestly, what’s going to happen to Cali if an oil shortage hits? It’s not like they can just switch over to bikes or rely on rail lines.

One thing I have to admire though is the encyclopedic knowledge everyone there seems to have for locations. You could ask someone there where to go for sushi and they’d be able to name four to five new places all over L.A. and Orange counties, all of which are, you guessed it, 45 minutes away. This would be like me telling you that the new Chipotle in Kane county is a way better set up than the one in Will. It honestly, boggles my mind.

Another redeeming factor for California is the fact that they have In-n-Out there. Simply awesome. I can not stress this enough. If I ever ended up living there I would definitely gain 10 lbs. immediately because I'd probably be getting Double-doubles and milk shakes all the time. Don't even get me started on the fact that they have Chic-fil-A there either.

But this brings me back to my original point. Getting to any of these things usually took at least 30 minutes, usually closer to 45, to get to. After spending my 28 years in Illinois, and the last six in Chicago I don't think I could ever drive more than 15 minutes to get anywhere. Unless of course you're talking about the Chipotle over in Dekalb, because that's a good one.

Flying High

2006-06-16T11:30:00.000-04:00

The following two posts were written while traveling somewhat comfortably from Chicago to L.A. for my Grandmother's birthday.

Mobile birth control…Or why I hate to fly Southwest

2006-06-16T11:00:00.001-04:00

Now don’t get me wrong, Southwest definitely has some things going for it. It’s inexpensive, they’re on time, and their flight crews are some of the friendliest and funniest in the industry. What I hate about Southwest is the fact that they’ve turned into the Greyhound of the skies. Almost anyone can get a Southwest ticket, and that includes families with little children.

(Now before I get too far into my rant I’ll be honest, when I finally have a family I’ll probably end up taking Southwest and render myself a complete hypocrite in the process.)

A fun little game that we’ve come up with is trying to figure out which kid will be the biggest pain in the ass on the flight. Originally my strategy was to find the loudest most misbehaved kids in the terminal and pick them as my horse. It turns out that it’s a little more complicated than that. Now my strategy is to identify all the kids boarding my flight. Once I have them marked observe if they’re already misbehaving or if they’re sleeping. It’s the sleepers that I’ve learned to watch out for, if only for the fact that they’ll have a ton of energy and be fidgety for the entire flight. Next, figure out how weary their parents are. Full of energy? Great, they’ll put up a fight and hopefully keep their kid under wraps. Tired with a look of defeat in their eyes? Well, that kind of explains itself doesn’t it? The selection process is definitely a work in progress, but it’s definitely better.

As I’m writing this I’m trying to figure out if there’s some way I can turn this into a gambling pool. How would you measure who won? Is it a most passengers annoyed kind of thing? Or do you go with decibels? Perhaps it could be pure duration for a tantrum. Elias would have a field day with this. Little Johnny Smith has a annoyance percentage of 52% in Boeing 737 during coast-to-coast flights this season when sitting next to his father in a window seat. Can you imagine if ESPN covered something like this? Sue Wiggins put on a Herculean show of endurance today, outlasting the Juarez child with a tantrum of one hour and 30 minutes, managing to connect on 35 of 40 passengers within earshot.

Seriously, this could work. You set up the pool at the gate before everyone boards, odds makers would scout the kids out prior to and everyone would make their picks as they handed in their boarding passes. You’d have parents refusing to tend to their kids just to squeeze out a few extra seconds. They’d start bringing multiple kids on board just for the assists. You'd have travelers checking out the departure boards like they were at an OTB. If the airline ran it their cut would provide an additional revenue stream. Seriously, this has to happen. I might even consider flying Southwest again if it did.

On turning 28…or how Optimus Prime made me grow up

2006-06-16T11:00:00.000-04:00

Champaign is 150 miles and six years away from my life in Chicago. The drive down I-57 was always a long and uneventful one (unless you count the time the Civic’s engine blew-up, but that’s a story for another time). The road from 20 to 28 however has been full of the usual twists and turns one expects during this time of life. Some of your friends are still in school, are already married, or are parents. There are the successful, the less so, and the ones in between. Out of the shielded reality of school we stand on our own making our way through the world.

Three recent events have encouraged me to turn a retrospective eye on the past decade. First is the fact that I turned 28 last month. Second, I received the save the date for my 10-year high school reunion. Last, I just found out that they are about to release a Transformers: The Movie 20th Anniversary edition. The first two are understandablely vexing, but surprisingly enough (or not surprisingly if you know me) it was the last that really got me freaking out.

At 28, a ten year high school reunion is pretty much your sign that you are no longer a child. Seriously, this is the stuff that Thursday night sitcom plots revolve around. Guy goes to reunion to confront his high school nemesis and hilarity ensues. Girl goes to show off how thin and hot she has become, while her school-age tormentors have turned into fat cows, and don’t forget hilarity ensues. I guess my point is, the ten year reunion was something mythological existing out in the ether. “No, I’m too young to worry about that.” “Wasn’t the five year reunion just a little while ago?” Well, now it’s here and there’s no avoiding it.

I suppose freaking out is too strong a word, but honestly how could it already be 20 years since Megatron, defeated in the battle to end all battles, delivered a cheapshot fatal blow to Optimus Prime. I hated Hot Rod for distracting Optimus long enough for Megatron to deliver that blow but I forgave him for two reasons. First, he discovered that the Decepticons had commandeered the ship flying into the Autobot base and second he did, after all, redeem himself in the end by opening the Autobot matrix of leadership, becoming Rodimus Prime and defeating Unicron at the end. (To answer that question that's floating in your mind, yes, you should be scared that I wrote about that, and doubly so because I'm currently on a plane flying to California, so it was from memory.)

I suppose the fact that I was able to remember all of that stands as testament to the importance that particular movie held to my childhood. I can remember going to the movie theater and being close to tears when Optimus dies and being near hysterical when Hot Rod turned into Rodimus. Is it really so long ago that we went to the video store to rent the movie for my ninth birthday, on Beta no less? The fact that next year I could buy the movie a drink (you know, if it was human) has started to put my age into a different perspective.

Gone are the days where the future is some destination down the road, one that I’ll reach when I’m brought to it. As it turns out, I’m here, so what am I waiting for? As it turns out, I’m not waiting for much. Compared to some my life is very good, to others I haven’t done (or accumulated) enough, but to me it feels right. I work hard to find a balance between being happy with what I’ve accomplished and what there is left to be done. I have a loving family, a beautiful girlfriend, friends that I trust, a good job and a growing faith. Other than that 20th anniversary dvd, what more could I need to face the road ahead?

The Jennifers...or When Birds Attack

2006-06-13T13:21:00.000-04:00

So this was the weekend of Jennifers, as it was my sister's birthday and Clare's sister's visit to Chicago.

My Jennifer, or Jenny, JBean, or Chuck as she's know by her friends celebrated her birthday by paying a whole lot of money to go to a salon and get her hair done. Granted it did look nice and the highlights were good especially in light of what they look like on most Asians, but for the amount that she paid I could have bought a few rounds of golf, an iPod or Liza Minelli for a day. Seriously though, I suppose my perspective is skewed since I usually don't spend more than $20 on a haircut. Granted, I'll probably go 5-6 times more in a given year than she will but still. Anyway, we went out for dinner as a family Saturday night and that was nice. We ended up at Domo 77, a local hibachi restaurant. If you've never been, I highly recommend it. Our chef was great and successfully executed the onion volcano. All in all a good time.

Earlier in the day I was able to spend time with Clare and her sister Jennifer (did I mention it was the weekend of Jennifers?) downtown. As Jennifer mentioned in the Ezell blog, the food was great but the beignets were ridiculously good. I had the Max burger, which is a 1/2 pound of ground beef, rib tips, bacon, mushrooms, barbecue sauce and cheddar cheese. Did I finish it? Of course, but I've felt lighter.

After lunch we decided to kill time before their movie and took a walk around Millennium Park. The jewel of the Chicago Park District, Millennium park was officially opened in the summer of 2004. It has outdoor art in the Bean, or Cloud Gate as it is officially known, and the water faces fountain/sculpture. It also has a Frank Gery designed amphitheatre which we took a walk around. Next to the theatre are the gardens. They have a recreated prairie landscape, wading pool/river, and an evergreen "forest." This is the point in the story where we get into trouble. As we were walking past some of the evergreens a kamikaze finch comes out of nowhere and pegs me right in the back of the head. This was a traumatizing experience, and in case you can't picture it I'll provide a vivid reenactment. Suffice it to say Jennifer and Clare thought this was hilarious, but at least they stopped laughing long enough to see how I was doing. Obviously, from the post incident picture above, I am ok.

So to summarize...Jennifer T - good birthday, great highlights. Jennifer E. - good visit, great food. As for the finch, well let's just say that I'm hanging around Millennium Park with a sling shot during my lunch hours.

May 2006

2006-06-09T14:52:00.000-04:00

After a prolonged absence I’m back. I was going to write another uber-blog but decided that it was taking too long to get around to doing that. Instead let’s just recount all that May 2006 had to offer in convenient list form. Now from the top, with feeling…

The New Hotness. If you haven’t already read my entry I was poetic about the fallen Crackpod and my New Hotness.
The birthday. I’m getting old. Ok maybe not that old, but when Transformers the movie is celebrating its twentieth anniversary, you know you’re not a young man any more.
Days off. I had to use seven days of vacation in May or I would lose them. What did I do with all of those days? See the next point.
Video games. May’s weather was craptacular so I ended up spending a bunch of my time playing Civ 3 (yes, I know Civ 4 is out, but when C3 plus the two expansion packs are selling for $20 how could I pass it up?) and Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006. These are two of the most addictive games in history. In fact, they deserve an entry all their own.
~~Mrs. Hutchinson~~ Sharon came to town. After Clare spirited her around town, Sharon was nice enough to take us out to Fogo for dinner. Thanks!
The Grand Prix is no more. After seven of the most expensive months in my automotive history I sold my car. It was the first car that I bought and I wish I could have held on to it, but after the window got busted in (after everything else that happened) it was the final straw. At least I got a good price from Carmax.
The stomach flu. When you can’t keep saltines and Pepto Bismol down you know it’s going to be a bad few days.
Mother’s Day. Hope you enjoy those Wicked tickets Mom!
The end of 24. You know, I’d like to see just one regular day in Jack’s life. Something like, he goes to Starbucks, checks his e-mail, mows the lawn. Something like that, only because you know he’d end up killing at least 12 people through the course of it.
Memorial Day weekend. My liver is still recovering, but at least we were able to take the ~~cornhole~~ bean bag set out on its maiden voyage.
Team America. We lost our last match to a bunch of wanks and then we got bounced in the first round of the play-offs. Here’s to another great season!

That’s pretty much it for May. I wish I would have written more through the month, but this will have to suffice. Entries should be coming a little more regularly though, as we document Clare’s first summer in Chicago.

Team America: Week 6 Report

2006-05-10T17:15:00.000-04:00

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Another week and another character building experience. On the bright side, at least Jim and Ali didn't fight on court...they left that to the other couple. Thankfully all was patched up prior to the end of the night.

Now, even though we lost the match three games to none there were highlights. So allow me to break these down by player:

Jim - I'm just going to call you wall crawler from now on. Back to back scrambling plays on the wall, one where you pulled a Jackie Chan and jumped off it? Love it.

Ali - Holy crap, have your floor burns healed yet? Thank God you threw your self all over the place to pick up digs, because I know I wasn't going to get to them.

Stroh - Where the hell did that hitting display come from? And a good back row set to the strong side hitter?

Steve - Ok, so I know you're disappointed you didn't convert more of the sets that came your way, but you did put some impressive ones down.

Sarah, Kristen, and me - Good job setting guys. The decisions to put the ball over on two instead of the set were almost all good ones. You also did a good job adjusting to the guy in the grey shirt dinking balls over on two.

Matt and Gail - Where the hell are you?

That being said, we have a bye week this week and we're back in action for the last week of the regular season next Tuesday. Our opponents, Hank Scorpio, sit at 8-10 one spot directly in front of us. The bad thing is, even by taking all three games we can't move up in the rankings. The good thing is, even if we lose all three games we probably won't move down in the rankings because Set Shorty is more than likely to lose their set as well.

The New Hotness

2006-05-09T12:10:00.000-04:00

First off, yes I know, I usually would have a Team America update here to cover the last game, but I couldn’t in good conscience have three straight volleyball entries. So, if you’re one of my loyal readers, and are jonesing for some vball, I’ll have that post up tomorrow.

On a more pleasant note, I would like to introduce the newest member of the family, my brand new 60 GB black iPod, henceforth to be known as “The New Hotness.” This is to distinguish it from the “Old and busted” Crackpod. You can read more of its bustedness, but long story short it had a dent in the back, the harddrive wouldn’t spin, and that’s not covered by the warranty.

Fortunately, Apple does run what it calls an “iPod recycling program” that gives you 10% off the purchase of a new iPod when you recycle an old iPod, iPod mini or an iPod nano. So, figuring I would maximize the amount I got back from my original, I went ahead and dropped my hard earned dollars to buy the biggest pod available. Also, to avoid the fate of the previous pod, I also purchased the Agent 18 Shield and the Power Support Crystal Film set. Overkill? Probably, but after dropping nearly $400 on The New Hotness I wanted it to last a little longer than its predecessor.

I am again a full fledged citizen of the iPod nation, once more commuting with the Cadillac of portable audio equipment. After giving up my pod for Lent, and then waiting another month to see if anything new was coming out for Apple’s anniversary, I am glad to be back among white headphone wearing hordes. Clare asked if I had any observations from my self imposed exile. After thinking about it I do have a few brief ones.

Everyone has an iPod. Not having mine made me realize how ubiquitous the little, white, mp3-that-could had become.
There are a lot of panhandlers in Chicago. I think all that time with headphones on (four years if you include the two previous mp3 players I had) had made me obvlivious to all but a fraction of the panhandlers in the Loop.
One in every 5 street musician has talent. I saw an oboeist (oboist? oboest? cantaloupe?) and a french horn player at the Washington Red Line stop, and they were good. There was also a saxophonist on Michigan and Randolph that was doing a decent Coltrane impersonation. Don't get me started on all the amped up singers and guitar players that made my commute hell the past few months, I don't even want to think about it.
Songs got stuck in my head a lot easier. I had nothing to cleanse the palate nor at times did I have the opportunity to hear a song to its completion. This explains why Rihanna's "S.O.S." got stuck in my head for about a week straight.
The protective bubble was intact. At first I thought I would feel somewhat naked due to no longer having my pod to shut the world out. Oddly enough, the fact that everyone else was using one meant that I was more of a bubble wrapped commuter. There were times though, where I was left out on an island with the occasional loud talker, whether it be via cell or live conversations. It was all I could do to not jump over other passengers and clamp someone's mouth shut.

Well, that's about it. The Crackpod is no more, all hail The New Hotness.

Team America: Week 5 Report

2006-04-28T16:10:00.000-04:00

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

You’d think that after winning our first match I would have written about it much sooner, but alas I’m still having trouble breaking out of my Friday vball blogging habits. Not to say that I wasn’t excited by the win, it was the lone highlight of my day. After having my car think it was being stolen and refuse to start in a parking garage on Sunday, not being able to get it out of said garage till Monday morning, paying $200 to have the computer rebooted, not being able to sell/give-away Cubs tickets for Tuesday, and locking myself out of my apartment that night, it was by far the best part of the previous 2-3 days. Whew, sorry, enough with my bitching on to the recap.

Highlights from the night…

Gail getting a ridiculous dig, to set-up a set right back at her, which she put down. The highlight for me was that I yelled, “Get up” during my set, while she was still landing from the dig. The lessons learned is this: “If you dig it, it will come (…right back at you, so get up and put this one down).”
Matt getting a block up front. I know you said it was just off your fingers, but we count those as blocks on this team.
Steve getting two digs in the back row. I honestly thought those were going down, but no, you got to them and they were pretty good passes to boot.
Kristen and Sarah for setting all night. I know it can be a less glamorous job than hitter, and sometimes you get people on your back (literally…Matt, I’m looking at you) but you guys did a good job.
Jim and Ali, for not yelling at each other this week. We really appreciate it when you guys keep any ~~domestic violence~~ marital spats out of the game.
Bryan…well, there’s not a whole lot to say, but we miss you. At the very least you look very professional in your profile.

So by winning all three games last Tuesday we have pulled ourselves out of the gutter and stand at 4-11! Next up are Balls In, during another 10 pm game. Seriously, how do we keep getting screwed like that? On another note, these are the guys immediately ahead of us in the standings. We win 2 of 3 and we can move up another spot!

Team America: Week 4 Report

2006-04-20T17:28:00.000-04:00

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Well, we certainly accomplished our goals for this week. We pushed fewer passes into the net. Ergo, they had fewer opportunities to force hits down our setters’ throats this week, we were able to set-up our offense, and we put down a few hits of our own. Secondly, we never got down on ourselves and we kept playing. This was certainly a noticeable improvement over last week, and our play reflected that.

Now, just because we achieved our goals doesn’t mean we came away with the match…or a win, but at least we’re making progress. So officially we are 1-11 but I think we could definitely be as high as 3-9. To date the standings are:

Spring 2006 Tuesday Drucker Upper Intermediate Volleyball
Team	W	L	%
Cardiac Arrest	10	2	83.33
Side Out	7	5	58.33
Parkway Bank Rules!	7	5	58.33
Six Pack	6	3	66.66
Hank Scorpio	6	6	50
It's All About the Shoes	5	4	55.55
Balls In	3	6	33.33
Set Shorty	3	6	33.33
Team America (F*ck Yeah!)	1	11	8.33

We have three weeks (plus a bye) to go and I think we can hit that illustrious 3-win mark before the playoffs hit. We'll be peaking at just the right time, as those other teams beat each other up with their "trying" and their "skill" and their "sobriety." Like my mom always said, you have to eat a lot more rice before you know as much as I do. What that has to do with volleyball I'm not sure, but I'm not one to question my mom.

Highlight of the night: Ali getting all fired up when the girls on the other team started talking shit. Let me break it down for everyone, the ball we played game one with was completely worn down. Seriously, this thing was smoother than the inflatable super bouncy balls you get at the supermarket. You know, the ones that you would throw around and bounce off of the walls but then get yelled at because you just knocked over the smoked sausage display and now the summer sausage is rolling under the other shelves, your mom is trying to pick up everything, and you're yelling because some pimple-faced kid just took your ball away from you. Not that that ever happened to me. I digress...in-between games one and two Ali politely requested that we switch balls and asked if the other team cared or not. The response from the girl in green was, "Well, if you think it will help." What a bitch. Not that I'm surprised, had the tables been turned I would probably be thinking the same thing, but alas they weren't and I'm calling her names now to make our team feel better. I will say, it was definitely one of those situations that we could have used our enforcer but he was elsewhere.

Goals for next week: I think our goals for next week should be 1) To continue the goals from last week, 2) Take more swings and 3) Put'em in a body bag!

The Jack Bauer Power Hour

2006-04-13T15:56:00.000-04:00

Is it bad when you walk in to a co-worker's office and yell "TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW!" and then threaten them with electro-shock torture until they give up the memo you were looking for? Ok, perhaps a little bit, but that's what happens when you watch eight hours of Fox's 24 in less than a week.

If you haven't been watching this season's 24 you're missing out. This by far is the best season of the show. Let me run it down for you: Jack has been "off the grid" for over a year after the events of last season. He gets pulled back in after the four people that knew he was still alive are targeted by assassins. Shortly after he is reunited with his one true love, CTU in an effort to uncover a conspiracy, track down stolen Sentox nerve gas and the terrorists that plan on using them. In the meantime people learn a lot about themselves, some enemies become friends, some friends become enemies and Rudy makes an appearance.

It's hard to say why I like 24 as much as I do. Is it because Jack is a bad ass and I wish I could be like him? Perhaps. Is it because I'm waiting for the day that Chloe and Edgar get together and make sweet, sweet geek love? Umm...definitely not. I'd say my love of 24 breaks down something like this:

Jack's nuclear powered PDAs. That thing never runs out of juice. Seriously, he's been making calls, getting e-mails, viewing streaming video, and uploading schematics all day long and I haven't seen it once in a docking cradle.
Self destructing memory cards. Stupid Germans.
The fact that everyone can be a suspect because the writers only script out six episodes at a time.
Every time a terrorist/informant gets presidential immunity, Jack figures a way to get it rescinded and then goes to work on them. And by work I mean do their taxes. And by do their taxes I mean crush their ~~testicles~~ throat.
This season's Spy vs. Spy between Jack and Robocop.
Curtis. That's one BAMF.
Chloe can find a schematic of any building in Los Angeles and berate three colleagues within 90 seconds.
That President Palmer was Pedro Cerrano in another life.

Things that drive me crazy about this season of 24:

Is it me, or do people recover from ~~torture~~ aggressive interrogation much too easily? Look at it this way, Henderson got pumped full of chems but was able to awaken, kill Tony, steal a car and rejoin his strike team. Audrey, also after a meeting with Burke, looks like she just left the spa with a make-over. Apparently the solution Burke is pumping into them is just sugar water and they're sweating because they know they're inching closer to type 2 diabetes. Either that or his breath smells like a diaper covered in Indian food.
I've been to LA numerous times, and have driven from one end of town to the another. It takes forever to go anywhere. How the hell does Jack, Curtis, and the terrorists get around so quickly? Is there a magical flying car that they use to get around SoCal and if so why aren't they showing it? Seriously, bump up the budget a little bit and let's see some Jetson action.
If you were President, wouldn't you just stop coming to California? Seriously, everytime they're there, they killed, almost killed, or a national emergency drops out of the sky. I would avoid it at all costs.

So, that being said the season wouldn't be complete without at least one night playing the 24 drinking game. I can hear my liver already screaming that it's in a flank two position.

Team America: Week 3 Report

2006-04-13T09:53:00.000-04:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Wow, judging by the way everyone scattered Tuesday night after the game, it couldn't have been a good one. And you know what? It wasn't. We got our asses handed to us in three straight games and we stunk up the joint.

Jim and I were talking yesterday and we both agree, we're freshmen again in the sense that these other teams have been here for a while, know how to play at this level as a team, and do so on a consistent basis. Obviously, this isn't something that comes as a shock to anyone. We knew this would be challenging at the very least.

So, where do we go from here? We have five weeks and four matches left. Aside from me putting on a skirt before the end of the season I'll make the following predictions:

We will win at least two more games, and possibly as many as five.
Ali will call Jim, Captain Dipshit at least once.
Steve will mistakenly bring two bottles of MGD instead of water. Hilarity will ensue.
Sean Preston will divorce his parents. Seriously, wouldn't you?
I will actually put a good hit down on the other team.
Eminem will finalize his divorce from Kim, only to remarry her and divorce again.
Matt will continue to touch tall things.
I will enroll at Northern Illinois University.

That being said, there are a few things we can work on between now and our end of season bar crawl.

First passes. We definitely need to get better first passes to our setters. We sent them into the net on serves and digs a few too many times.
Keeping spirits up. Last week we lost the first game, but because we were still loose and having a good time we were able to come back and win the second. This week we got down on ourselves, played tight, and lost. If I need to bring the grass skirt back I will.

Good passes and attitudes, that's pretty much it. I'll leave you with this thought though...

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Work Conferences

2006-04-11T17:00:00.000-04:00

So I survived another ISMS House of Delegates Annual Meeting. I'm not going to bore people with the details (or get myself into trouble for talking about the companies here) so let me just say this. The HOD is a grueling test of endurance for all those concerned. How I've survived six of these things I'll never know.

Shamrock Shuffle

2006-04-10T17:00:00.000-04:00

So I finished. After two and a half months of grueling training, I was able to complete the 2006 Shamrock Shuffle. Ok, so my training mostly consisted of me walking to the McDonald's for a McGriddle or back to the bar for another beer, but that still counts doesn't it? Seriously though, I ran three to maybe four times prior to the race. That's training enough for me!

So at 4.96 miles, the Shamrock Shuffle is 1.46 miles longer than the furthest I've ever run in race conditions. The previous record holder? The Chase Corporate Challenge, which is 3.5 miles. I've done that a few times and run in other 5k races as well. I wasn't sure how fast I was going to be, but as long as I finished in under an hour I thought I'd be ok. In the end I finished in 53:14, six and three quarter minutes faster than my goal. Clare smoked me, coming in at 48:08.

10 minutes after the start we were finally walking up to the starting line (seriously, there were 25,000 people registered for this race, you didn't think we'd be up front did you?). I began to wonder, "how fast I could actually run this?" If completed in 42 minutes or less, you become eligible for the preferred start, which puts you ahead of the massive crowds. At that moment I wanted to come in at 41 minutes. Three steps into my run I wanted to go home.

That being said, I didn't stop other than at the water/gatorade stations, and that was just because it was littered with wet paper cups. Running down the middle of State Street without getting run over by a car or bus was pretty surreal. I'd say it was like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky, but there were a few hundred people around me and I'm not a crazy Scientologist.

Next up is the Corporate Challenge, where I hope to finish in 30 or fewer minutes. Let the training begin.

Team America: Week 2 Report

2006-04-06T18:38:00.000-04:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

I’d like to lead-off with the fact that Sarah was perfect. On top of that, Ali hit through double blocks all night. And now that we’re done talking about Jim & Stroh’s swinger party last night, on to volleyball…

Improvement is the word of the week. We won our first game in the new league last Tuesday. Unfortunately that was the only game that we won, so we still ended up losing the match. I suppose that makes improvement a relative term, like health and Cubs pitchers, or sobriety and Whitney Houston.

To be honest, I never really felt like I had my head in the game. I suppose it could have been the early seven o’clock start, but more likely it was the fact that I got held up at work till 6:30. That obviously explains why I shanked multiple swings and a set during the game. Luckily everyone else stepped up and was able to put us in a position to win.

Sarah did a great job bringing us back in the second game, rattling off half a dozen points or more to get us the lead. Ali also did hit through double blocks, which is more than I can say for Steve, since every time I set him he ended up hitting into a single block. That of course is better than me, but let’s be honest, the net is just like one really big, wide blocker right?

Anyway, after discussions after the game, it seems as though a consensus has emerged.

1) We need to react faster

2) We need to be more selfish when it comes to the ball.

Hopefully playing on Sunday mornings now and again will help that. I definitely agree with the rest of the team, we’ll only get better as the league goes on.

Now I leave you with this though:

Pi is not infinite. It stops when Chuck Norris tells it to.

182 Days and Counting

2006-04-04T19:08:00.000-04:00

A lot has happened in the past 182 days. Holidays, parties, birthdays and more than enough work days have passed in the past six months. I watched the Sox with a World Series, the Bears make it to the play-offs, and Illinois basketball come up a little short. My sister started working for a living and "Santa" finally gave my parents the bigger gift (seriously, how can anyone watch a 55" big screen without surround sound?).

Through it all, Clare hasn't gotten sick of me. Not of my shenanigans, hullabaloo, or other random quirkiness, alcohol fueled or otherwise. I'm not really one to celebrate the passing of time in anything less than a year, but after being single for the past six years there's something nice about celebrating six months.

So, happy sixmonth-iversary baby!

Team America: Week 1 Report

2006-03-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

It was a dubious start for Team America in the Upper Intermediate league. We were without Kristen, Sarah and Steve, three out four of our setters. On top of that we played a team that has been together for a long time. That being said I had more fun losing three games in this league than in winning 17* games in the last league.

To say we had problems on the court is like saying the Cubs have health issues on the mound. Ok, perhaps that's a little harsh, but I can say that since I'm a Cubs fan. Our service return was better than it has been although those passes sometime ended up being errant. There were more than a few good digs, unless the hit came from their big hitter in which case I think we got one, maybe two, digs and one block. Not to toot my own horn, since I only got one block on about 50 attempts, but that was AWESOME. I can't remember the last time I got a block on someone that good.

There were a few lapses though. I know I definitely did this, and I saw it a couple other times, but we need to help the blockers out when they get tipped over or around. I know I got caught flat-footed a couple of times in the back row and should have come up to help. Aside from that, if we can find a little more offense I think we're going to do alright in this league. You know, besides that monster hit Stroh put down in the second game.

Oh and before I forget, I found this wicked clip of a vball match. I was looking for examples of good swings and well...take a look.

*Thanks to Jim for clarifying our win total from last season. 14-7 regular season, 3-3 post.

Go-go Gadget Blog!

2006-03-28T13:36:00.000-05:00

After a lengthy delay I am back to my old blogging ways. A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks so let’s try to recap it now. Is this going to be a long one? Yup. Are you going to sit there and read it all? You better. Just in case I added a little something extra at the bottom.

FIRST UP: St. Patty’s Day Weekend (Sort of)

I admit, our St. Patty’s day celebration was held the weekend before the actual date. This is because Chicago’s parades (the Downtown and the Southside) are scheduled for the Saturday or Sunday, on or before March 17. So basically, this year’s calendar gave us opportunity to celebrate that most emerald of saints twice. Am I Irish? No. Am I Catholic? No. Do I wear women’s underware? I prefer not to answer that question. Regardless, this is my favorite non-Hallmark holiday to celebrate because it’s basically one big excuse to drink.

Clare did a really good job recapping events, but, while definitely putting up a good showing, she didn’t make it through to the end of the night. Personally I’m still trying to recap everywhere we went to:

Merkle’s
Lucky’s
Red Ivy
Sluggers
Bar Louie
Gold Crown Liquor
Piro’s Casa de Red Bull (this is where Clare tapped out)
A house party God knows where
Ta’Too
And finally home.

I'd have to say the highlight of the night would have to be Dave forgetting his credit card over at Sluggers. Highest of high comedies, only because he seems to do it everytime he goes out (see below).

Coming in a close second would be my brand new socks blowing out. Seriously, I thought the Gap brand would be better than that. I should I know, I'm a Gap alum. I'm halfway through my second wearing and all of a sudden I feel a bit of a draft in the right show. Turns out the seam completely blew out. I knew I should have gone to Abercrombie.

I’d post more pictures but most of them are password protected for the sake of our careers. I will however share these before and after shots.

Clare and I (before)

Clare and I (after)

Me (after after...mostly just after shotgunning a couple of beers)

Good times.

SECOND UP: Team America: Play-offs Week 2 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

In a rematch of our Week 5 opponent Team America put up a valiant effort but came up short, losing 2-1 against Come From Behind. I’m not sure what to say about this loss. Ordinarily I’d have gone Bobby Knight after a loss, or at least a smoldering Gene Keady, but that didn’t happen this time. While there were obvious flaws in our game, we played our best ball when it counted, but we came up short. Seriously, the scores were 15-13, 10-15, 15-13. You don’t get any closer than that and not win.

Hopefully, our rising to the level of our opponent will carry over to the next league. Starting March 28, Team America moves up to the Upper-Intermediate league. It should be pretty exciting and it all begins tomorrow!

THIRD UP: March Madness

Ok we are well on our way to a new national champion but I thought I would recap the events of the first weekend. As is our custom, Steve and I took the first day of the tournament off and headed to Durkin's at 11 o'clock, in time for the first set of games. To our dismay the special of the day had been switched from domestic drafts to Bud Light only. This presented a problem since I have a hard time with Bud Light. Not only does it give me a wicked hangover, but it isn't that good going down either.

Still, Steve and I powered through and managed to consume more than our $25 share of Bud light, Domino's pizza and wings. All that in only five and a half hours, not too bad. Afterwards we made our way to Joe's where I'm sure we pissed off our waitress because we only ordered Diet Coke's and a basket of french fries. Honestly, I didn't even feel like drinking anything anymore because my bladder was so fatigued. We sat there, watched the first half of the Illinois game and then headed off to our volleyball final. All in all, not a bad first day. I even won most of my picks that day too. Which leads us to...

The second day, this is when things went down hill. Garrett's college fraternity brothers were in town for a bachelor party and I ended up tagging along with them. We started out at Durkin's again and this time the Bud Light went down a lot easier, mostly because I was more concerned with getting my money's worth on the shortened St. Patty's day schedule at the bar. $25 all you can drink 9am to 1pm. I didn't get there till 10:30, so I had to catch up. After that it was bar hopping all over the northside, when we finally ended up at Red Ivy at 6 p.m. where Clare met up with Dave and I. The rest of the crew decided they were going over to Barleycorn for food, but we stayed to 1) meet up with Clare and 2) go back to a previous bar so Dave could pick up his credit card that he forgot (see, I told you he does it all the time).

That night I ended up in bed and asleep by 9:30, well before I could realize that Kansas lost their game and I had just lost the national champion in my bracket. So basically, this marks the second year where I was effectively eliminated from competition in the pool that I was running. Good times.

The rest of the weekend was a blur, but mostly it was just watching A LOT of basketball. Thank God Clare likes basketball otherwise this may not have gone over as well.

Fourth Up: The Hidden Gem

This is a clip of Chuck Norris reading Chuck Norris facts. "This is my thesis!" (extra points to anyone that can name the movie the quote came from)

St. Patty's Day (sort of) Pub Crawl

2006-03-10T19:31:00.000-05:00

If anyone is looking for us this weekend we'll be on the fourth annual St. Patrick's Day pub crawl.

***Please note, this was a suggested pub crawl schedule. We will definitely be deviating from this list. For current location call Joel, Clare, Garrett, Jen, Jon, Melissa, Dave, Peter, Paul and/or Mary for an update.***

Saturday - March 11, 2006

Locations & Times

The Irish Oak 3511 N. Clark St. 10:00-11:00

The Blarney Stone 3424 N. Sheffield 11:00-11:45

Johnny O'Hagan's 3374 N. Clark 11:45-12:45

Vaughn's 2917 N. Sheffield 12:45-1:45

Harrigan's 2816 N. Halsted 1:45-2:35

Griffin's Public House 2710 N. Halsted 2:35-3:25

Burwood Tap 724 W. Wrightwood 3:25-4:15

John Barleycorn 658 W. Belden 4:15-5:15

Halligan Bar 2274 N. Lincoln 5:15-6:00

Four Farthings 2060 N. Cleveland 6:00-7:00

River Shannon 425 W. Armitage 7:00-???

All dates, times and locations are subject to change. Local, state and federal taxes apply.

Team America: Play-offs Week 1 Report

2006-03-10T16:45:00.000-05:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

First things first, yes I wore a skirt and whitey tighties to last night's game. Personally I think I look hot, but that's just me. It may have actually benefitted us, as it probably distracted the other team on a few plays as they wondered what the heck was going on.

I thought we played a very strong game all around last night. The vast majority of our serves were playable. Granted, I did have at least one that went into the net, but not bad overall. Our service receives and first passes were crisp which lead to good sets and some excellent hits. I was totally jacked to see Ali, Sarah and Jim hitting the way they were.

Last night's victory brings us to next week's challenge, the team that swept us 3-0 in the regular season. Come From Behind is a good team, that plays fundamentally sound ball. They're not going to do too much to hurt themselves, but they aren't explosive offensively either. The majority of their points came off of tape hits that trickled over the net, or dinks over blockers.

That being said, there are a few things to keep in mind:

The games in our first match were close. Our final scores were: 8-15, 12-15, 13-15.
We rallied from about 10 down in one of those games.
Their guys don't hit.

With that in mind, here are my keys to the game:

Continue to make our serves. We did a great job of that last night.
Be ready to adjust serve receive if we're getting eaten up. Serves to middle back came in at chest high against this team last time; we may need to adjust for a better first pass.
Ball Hawking. CFB is a finesse team that dinks more than it spikes. They'll try to drop balls behind blocks or in-between players.

The way I look at it, if Steve and I are giving up our annual March Madness tradition we are going to win the whole, damn thing. Ask Jim, I always have leftover vacation days because there are only three days a year that I request: one day around New Year's Eve and the first two days of the Tournament. So if we have to drag anyone kicking and screaming into the finals we'll do it.

An interesting thought came to mind. We play three games in a match. If we win it all we'll have played three matches. I usually drink three pitchers after we win. The pack of whitey tighties that I bought has three pairs in it. Coincidence...I think not. Three is the magic number and I am the walrus.

ZZ Top

2006-03-09T17:25:00.000-05:00

In the past two days I've seen leg warmers on a few women around town. Is this some sort of weird revival of horrid 80's fashion? Seriously, in one case we're talking about bright red leg warmers pulled up above the calf. Of course she had a denim jacket and big hair to match. To be honest, I'm a bit frightened by it all. I refuse to go back to wearing thin leather ties. Don't even get me started if I see women start wearing stirrup pants.

Any, this walk down amnesia lane prompted some strange musical cravings. Take for example today's odd choice, ZZ Top's Legs from the Eliminator album. I haven't heard this song since my cousin Grace used to baby sit me and would let me watch videos with her and her friends. You know, back when MTV actually showed videos? Along with Duran Duran's "Rio," "Legs" used to be one of my favorite videos growing up. I watched the video today and thought, "Dear God, what the hell was everyone smoking/snorting in the 80's?"

Actually what I was really thinking about were the following:

I would never eat at the diner that opens and closes the video. Seriously, the board of health would have shut that place down by now.
If I worked at a shoe store and had to endure the same conditions she did, I would have quit or sued. Then again if I worked at a shoe store I probably would have quit anyway.
There's no way that that many trendy stores were in one strip mall. If they were just going from store to store they should have ended up at a Chico's, or a Dress Barn, or a Culotte Corral.
What the hell is going on with the girl's socks? Are those cuffs and ruffles? Someone actually thought that was a good look?
Ummm...yeah, if I were the girls friend I would have said something along the lines of, "You just spent the entire afternoon and God knows how much money on this make-over and now you're hopping onto the back of a dune buggy with the guy from the greasy spoon across the street. Good choice."

So obviously, a little bit of different viewing experience than when I was eight.

Wow

2006-03-08T18:56:00.000-05:00

I'd just like to preface today's entry by saying that I am ordinarly a very understanding and compassionate person. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you that, while I am a smart ass, I'm a pretty good guy. I'm pretty much only saying this now because what I'm about to write will probably make me sound like an uncaring, heartless bastard...but really, I'm not.

Today I thought since my friend Brad has a hall pass (read: wife out of town) for the week and is coming in to grab food and a few beers tonight, I would go ahead and take the Red Line home instead of my usual bus. Even with the five block walk it's faster, so I'll have time to hang my suit and tie up as opposed to falling asleep on them when I come home at God knows when.

As usual, I was able to get on a Red Line with no delay right after work today. Even better the car I was getting into had plenty of empty seats, so I thought "Rock on!" Well I, along with the other half dozen poor souls that got on with me, realized that there was a reason for all the open seats.

Now let me preface everything by telling you about my sense of smell. It's pretty good. I've been able to distinguish which type of Old Spice High Endurance body wash my poker buddies wear. I was able to tell what my coworker was eating from Panda Express without having to see it. My biggest pet peeve is my clothes smelling like food because I inevitably smell it for the remainder of the day no matter what amount of Febreeze I use.

Anyway, my olefactory senses were suddenly assaulted by what I can only describe as a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the nose. I looked around and, sure enough, found the source of said roundhouse kick. There were a couple of grocery bags full of trash and a bag woman in serious need of a shower and change of clothes. Seriously folks, this was a moment where I was envying the guy that has to take out the trash that somebody forgot about last week at a bad Indian restaurant. Cat diarreah on your rug after said cat eats food from the aforementioned garbage bag would have smelled better than what I was enduring at that moment.

To make matters worse she had her back turned away from me and I had no idea what it was she was doing. More than likely she was just trying to rest, but I've seen some weird shit in my time. Like one time, I got off the Red Line at Washington and turned, looked and saw a homeless man pulling up his pants and throwing a plasting bag full of "something" toward a lightpost. The bag went "splat" and not in that fun Double Dare kind of way either. That was a fun morning. So, now I have that going through my mind and I start wondering, "What if she does throw shit at the rest of us? Is there any way I can dodge that? Why did I bring my golf umbrella, I'll never get that open fast enough. Will that come out of wool? As long as it doesn't get in my mouth I'll be ok, right?" Yeah, I'm pretty whacked, I know.

Anyway, I start looking around and realize I'm not the only one having issues. The girl sitting next to me was valiantly trying to read her book, but I'm sure I saw her start dry heaving a little. A trixie sat down behind the homeless woman and the look on her face was one of pure dispair once she realized that she got blocked in by another passenger and couldn't get out. I was seriously having difficulty breathing through my mouth. My chest hurt the same way it would if I had 100lb weight on it, or if I was trying to watch Paris Hilton act.

I tried to do my sudoku and make it to my stop, but I just couldn't. I ended up switching cars at the Clark and Division stop. It was just too much to bear. I saw some of the other passengers get off at the Fullerton stop and they looked like they were ready to lose it, especially that Trixie.

Anyway, I wish there was something I could have done to help her, but I have a strict no homeless interaction guideline that I follow when in confined spaces. Hopefully she gets some help one of these days and I'll be praying for that.

March Madness is the Super Bowl of Sports

2006-03-03T16:57:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite time of year...March Madness. Small and mid-major conferences start their tournaments this week, with the big conferences kicking off tournaments next Thursday all leading up to the Big Dance. The first weekend of the tournament is like my birthday, New Year's, and Christmas all rolled into one. Add to it this year St. Patrick's Day falls on that Friday and that's just a recipe for ~~disaster~~ good times.

Why, you may ask, does the Madness afflict me so? Well that's easy:

This is the best sporting event of the year. 48 hours of basketball in the first four days, where it's "play or go home" for everyone. Everyone plays harder, and even if there's a blow-out, there's always three other games to watch. Not to mention the inevitable upsets and Cinderella stories. Seriously, how could you not love it?
Betting: bracket pools or otherwise. I would expand on this but discretion is the better part of valor. If you want more info just email me.
The food and drink - how can you go wrong with specials like the one below? (see Thursday below)
I have these days off work and am usually in a bar where there's no chance of getting cell reception. Do I have to go into what happened last year? Ok fine...

...I had the first two days off for the tournament as I traditionally do except this time I had a huge project due at the end of March. (Setting that project date was my first mistake) Suffice it to say, I ended up having to come in on BOTH days. Not only that but on Friday I ended up stuck in the server room until 9:30 p.m. I felt like Dante, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" But I digress...

Luckily I have already secured March 16 and 17 (Happy Birthday Mrs. Hutchinson!) as personal days off work, so I couldn't be more excited. Traditionally the weekend is structured as such:

Thursday - 11 a.m. to 11ish p.m. - Hit Durkin's with Steve for the all you can eat and drink special. For $25 you get all you can drink domestic drafts and all the Domino's pizza you can eat. Not only that, but they also rearrange the bar so that in addition to the bar's usual TV set up, each table has its own small LCD TV with satellite hook-up.

Friday - 11 a.m. to ?? - I'll usually hit another all you can eat and drink at another bar to catch the rest of the games. Once work lets out the rest of the gang meets up and we carouse through the rest of the night.

Saturday - 11 a.m. t0 ?? - At this point the old liver is in a hurt locker and needs a bit of rest. Not to say that I'm not out watching the games somewhere, but I probably won't start drinking until later on in the afternoon. To be honest, in years past, I usually overdo it on the greasy bar food as opposed to the beer. There's something about pizza and chicken wings that I can't pass up.

Sunday - ?? - ?? - In the past my church service was always around 10 so that I could make the early game. Now it starts at 11, so either I go to the early 8:30 service or I miss the first half of the 11 o'clock game. Either way, this is a recouperation day where I usually suffer through CBS' coverage of the games.

Now, there are potential issues this year. If Team America (the volleyball team that I play on) makes it out of the first day of the play-offs, we will be playing the night of Mar. 16. This will put a severe crimp in Steve and my plans for the day, as we've been asked not to show up to any more games inebriated. Second, St. Patrick's Day is the 17th. I'm not sure how this is going to impact the proceedings, but you can bet that they will. Third, it's Lent and that will limit my meat consumption on Friday. Are you allowed to eat corned beef or not?

So, whatelse can I say? This is my favorite weekend of the year, hands down. Now if I can just find the number for that liver transplant place...

Team America: Week 8 Report

2006-03-03T02:47:00.000-05:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

It looks like I'm going to have to wear a skirt next week. In a stunning turn of events, not only did Team America win all three games of its match this week, but every team member showed up prior to the game and drank. Not bad guys, I honestly didn't think you had it in you.

That being said, the team that we played this week was not at all good. Which makes sense since they're the last place team, but really why would you even bring that up unless you're a complete jerk? I will say this, after dispatching Triple Penetration in roughly 30 minutes, the inter-squad scrimmage that we had after was the most I've worked in a long time.

I'm not sure if they're going to let me wear a skirt to a Boys & Girls Club, but I guess we'll figure something out....and no, I will not be shaving my legs for this.

**Here is my projected tournament bracket for the playoffs.**

iPod Update

2006-02-28T15:16:00.000-05:00

I'm still under the spell of the Kaballah curse. Resetting and restoring did not work yesterday. My advice to anyone that finds themselves in a position to restore their iPod (i.e. send it back to factory settings, thereby losing your library): reformat the unit first. It'll give you the cleanest possible starting point, and it's a step that I wish I had taken when I could still do so.

Fortunately there's been progress and I've made two iPod discoveries today. First, my iPod is still under warranty. Therefore, for $30 in shipping and handling, I can send my iPod to Apple and have them fix or replace the unit. I have to admit that I was sort of looking forward to buying a new video iPod but, alas spending another $300 is not to be.

The second discovery that I've made is that for a pedestrian city like Chicago, where the majority of people take public transportation (at least in my neighborhood), your music player is like your car. You have individual make and models just like in automobiles. Headphones are like rims, cases are paint jobs, and just like cars you can have an number of features on the inside.

For iPods alone this comparison is apparent. You have the compact cars (Shuffles), the Cooper Minis (Nano's), various mid-size (full size iPods with grey screens, color screens, photos, etc) and the luxury class (video). Don't even get me started on the old school hoopties that you see out there.

So, if it seems like I'm a little wrapped up in my CrackPod, just substitute the word car and you'll know what I mean.

Oh iPod, why have you forsaken me?

2006-02-27T17:56:00.000-05:00

It has not been a good week for me and electronics. They just don’t seem to like me anymore. Last week, my laptop at work decided that it would 1) stop booting up or 2) immediately power down as soon as it got past the Windows loading screen. Luckily we were able to swap out my hard drive and drop it into a spare shell we had laying around. I still lost half a day at work, but in the grand scheme of things that was ok. So I was able to be fairly laid back about the entire process.

What now has me nothing short of apopleptic is the fact that my CrackPod has decided to go the way of many a Chicago politician and become corrupt. Namely, on my way back from lunch today, my iPod decided to completely lock-up. No amount of resetting or updating brought back my library and in the end I was forced to pull an Old Yeller and take it around back and put it down.

I am now the proud owner of a 20 GB iPod that has a grand total of forty two songs on it. I’m pretty sure I have everything backed up between my two computers (work and home), but my faith in the CrackPod has waivered and it will take time and effort on its part to regain that trust. The crappy part is I now have to go through my work-out, the kickboxing class I teach and the commute home without any tunes. This could be interesting…

I have a sneaking suspicion that I know what happened. After recently uploading music from Clare’s account the CrackPod began acting up. More specifically, only after deleting a song on the playlist from the Material Girl did things begin to go downhill. My thought? It’s Madonna’s Kabbalah curse that’s killing my CrackPod.

Superfriends Unite

2006-02-26T02:38:00.000-05:00

I'd like to know when all of Clare's friends are going to be in one place at the same time. I think it would it be a hell of a good time and we should make that happen as soon as possible. Meagan (who I've met), Cara, and Leslie! What do you guys say? And no, I am not sober right now!

Team America: Week 7 Report

2006-02-24T11:21:00.000-05:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

Ok, so let me get the bad news out of the way for everyone. Yes, we lost our match last night 2-1. Yes, the other team was short players so they played five instead of six. And yes, the other team had just gotten back from Uncle Julio's where they were having margaritas. So to sum up, we lost to an undermanned, drunk team two games to one.

I'm not sure whether I'm more upset at the loss or the fact that Ali wasn't at the game last night so Steve and I totally could have drank before hand. At least that way the rest of the team could have blamed it on us. Seriously though, what can you say? We definitely didn't play our best game, the roof and those pipes got in the way more times than I care to count and we again had serve receive problems. On the plus side we rallied back from 10-0 in the second game, pushing them all the way to 15-13 before they won. We also won our first rally score game in recent memory, so that was also a good thing.

With the end of the season and the playoffs looming I am willing to uphold my proposition to the team from last night. Come out and have a shot before next week's game, and if we win all three games I promise to wear a skirt and tighty whities for the playoffs. So to summarize:

Ok, so maybe that's a bit scary, but seriously it's our last game of the regular season and we're not going to be able to celebrate after the game, so let's at least hang out before hand.

As if the idea of me in tighty whities isn't funny enough, here's some more:

Only 78 more shopping days until my birthday. Here's an idea for a gift.

This is why I vote Republican.

First there was Chuck Norris, then Mr. T, now...Jack Bauer.

College Stories: Oh, McKillme how I love thee!

2006-02-23T15:01:00.000-05:00

Call me a lemming, but after reading the other college health center rants I thought I should throw one of my own in.

McKillme (or McKinley if you were so inclined) once diagnosed my friend Brad with bronchitis. Luckily he showed up when he did, because the doctors there apparently misdiagnosed another student earlier that day with a collapsed lung when he really had bronchitis. This worked out to Brad's advantage because if you have a collapsed lung you get admitted to the hospital, have a tube shoved through your back and into your lung, and are generally miserable for days on end. Instead they gave him some antibiotics and sent him on his way.

A couple of hours later Brad's roommates were running from room to room trying to find him because, surprise, surprise, McKillme misdiagnosed him. He actually had a collapsed lung, and should be found immediately before he passed out. So now we have a guy with a bad lung, somewhere on a campus larger that some people's home towns, and he could be ok or he could be moments away from passing out. Good times.

Suffice it to say, we found Brad or rather he found us. He came back to the dorm after getting his antibiotics prescription filled and we sent him on his way to the hospital. Lucky Brad, for the next week he had a tube stuck up his back into his lung. Good times.

Now in McKillme's defense they did do some things right. They gave you free tussin and condoms twice a month. Some would argue though, that they didn't give you enough of either to be effective. I of course would be one of them, since I love the tussin.

Team America: Week 6 Report

2006-02-17T14:23:00.000-05:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

Ok, so after taking one on the chin last week by losing three games to Come From Behind, Team America came back in solid fashion last night. We took two of three games against the last place team in our league last night. Now in all honesty, we should have taken all three games, but I'll get to that in a second. There were a lot of good things that happened last night and I'd rather talk about that first.

Sarah as setter - All around solid job as setter. She made some really good decisions at the net, whether it was sending the ball over on two or putting up the set. Speaking of which, when she did set they were good balls that the hitters (myself included) could put down (not that we always did).
Matt’s digging in the back row – Way to show complete disregard for your body Matt. I haven’t seen anyone commit their body to a dig like that since I played in the sand leagues.
Both girls playing all three games - I know you were probably getting a bit tired by the third game, considering neither of you could rotate out for a break, but still, good job.
Back row coverage – Good job to everyone on covering the back row. We were short handed but the moves made back there were decisive and few if any balls were actually dropped.
The second game - Our serves were dropping in, our serve receive got the first pass to where the setter got get to it in good position, and the hitters killed the balls that were put up for them.

That being said there were a few things I observed that I’m concerned with. Please keep in mind I committed most if not all of the following so I’m not just pointing fingers.

Serves –A number of serves went into the net, especially in the third game. I know our team can defend against anyone in this league, so we need to just put the ball into play.
Cinderblock Feet – Just like any sport, when you’re on defense and you’re back on your heels you’re going to get beat. That happened last night on serve returns, dinks, errant passes and the like. Stay on your toes and get ready to move.
Quicksand – This is probably our biggest problem and over the course of three seasons we’ve done it time and time again. We’re behind in a game that we really need and we start trying to do too much or we become too tentative. This leads to balls in the net or going long on spikes (yeah, I don’t even know how many of those I had) or balls going into the net or out of bounds on serves. We start to get tentative on digs and look at each other with that “I thought you were going to get it” look when they drop in between us.

I can live with the first issue, sometimes you’re on a hot streak, sometimes you’re on a cold one. The second one, well we just need to remind each other on game days to get up. It’s the third that concerns me most. Honestly I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to hit the home run and get us back in the game and we tend to forget that on any given ball you’re only dealing with one point.

Should we play with intensity? Absolutely, but we should stop trying to do so much with each swing of our arm. Play our game and do what we’re good at. I know it's hard to try to relax and have fun (believe me I know, ask Jim about the people on the company softball team I threw bats at after a loss) but we need to do something besides get down on ourselves.

We're heading into the playoffs soon and I know that we can rise to the occasion and not just win our first playoff game ever, but take home the trophy. No need to do it alone, that’s what the rest of the team is there for. So let's relax, have fun, and beat the shit out of everyone we face from here on out.

With that being said, I know I didn’t bring the funny in this blog so here’s some to make up for it:

The Oprah – Tom Cruise interview how it should have been

Dane Cook on Jimmy Kimmel

Get elected to Congress get a free subscription to Hustler

Is that more Valentines-y?

2006-02-15T14:15:00.000-05:00

For all those that thought I was being a smart ass with the previous picture here is one of the two of us instead. I just want to state for the record though, that I love that previous picture and even have it hanging in my office.

That being said, here are some Valentines that you might consider sending next year.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-14T15:51:00.000-05:00

That's my baby, and I love her.

Team America: Week 5 Report

2006-02-10T15:44:00.000-05:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

In a possible preview of the league championship game, Come From Behind defeated Team America three games to none.

Things looked good for Team America at the start, leading CFB by four points in the first game. It was obvious that TA was playing tight, as the look of anticipation for this game was obvious on their faces. Mathlete and Tron effectively shut down the male hitters from CFB, but service returns became a problem later in the game. With serves coming into the middle at waist or chest high, getting a good initial pass became problematic.

More problematic was the absence of Captain America at this week's game. It is only known that Jim was on the road earlier that day, but his whereabouts at game time were unknown. The addition of the up-and-coming triple threat (hitting, blocking, dancing) could only have helped Team America as they dropped the first game 15-8.

The second game brought more of the same, with CFB getting lucky rolls of the net that caught Team America out of position. A highlight of that game came when the girl in the black shorts (GBS) accused Mathlete of setting the serve, which is illegal. Instant replay supported Team America claims to the contrary, but in the interest of good sportsmanship TA offered to replay the ball. GBS relented and gameplay resumed, with GBS targeting Mathlete on many of the ensuing hits. Up to the challenge, Mathlete was able to get the dig on these, unfortunately it was not enough and Team America fell 15-12.

Having already lost the match, Team America tried to salvage one win to retain the number one seed for a second consecutive week. Falling behind early, CFB began toying with Team America, calling out Tens for backrow hitters. Unphased Team America rallied to tie. TA hitters put away balls impressively, from both the strong and weak sides. Line Judge's cross court hits kept TA in the game, while Tron and Macho League kept pounding away at the middle. On one hit in particular, Mathlete stuffed it down a defender's shirt, which fired up Team America. When the game went into rally scoring, Team America responded. TA scrambled well, and defended the net better than they had all night. Unfortunately, it was not enough as Come From Behind lead the entire way, winning 15-13.

While obviously dejected, Team America remained positive during post game interviews. The continued "body sacrificing" play of Furby, along with the emergence of Skewers and Bismarck as setters were high spots in an otherwise gloomy day. "We can only get better as a team" said interim captain Mathlete. How this match will impact an already tight race at the top of the league won't be known until complete results are available from last night's other games.

Next week: Team America faces Road Kill (4-8)

Two'fer

2006-02-09T16:56:00.000-05:00

First Point: I've become that guy they make bad sitcoms about, or worse yet, movies that Jimmy Fallon would be in.

So, I was supposed to go to the gym last night but instead I got hung up at work and didn't make it home till later than expected. Now, I did make it home in time to change and immediately run out the door to the gym, but instead I sat down on my couch. The next thing I know I'm pulling my face away from the drool that's pooling up on my leather and realize that the class has already started and there's no chance I'm going to make it to the gym.

Instead I decide to catch up on some TV that I had missed and decided to do an emergency load of laundry. Now, the driers in my building suck, unfortunately they didn't suck enough to dry my clothes. Long story short I wake up this morning to still damp laundry. This is most unfortunate since all of my boxers were in there. Now, facing this situation most men would either A) put on damp boxers, B) wear the boxers they were already wearing, or C) go commando. I instead go for hidden option D) Microwave your boxers until they're dry. After two minutes those boxers were perfect and I haven't felt that good on a winter morning commute in years.

Second Point: I've somehow avoided having to celebrate major holidays, birthdays and Valentine's day with a girl for over six years.

That fact is at once a source of pride and of anxiety. Sure, for the past six years when my buddies have tried to figure out what to get their girlfriends I've been able to sit back, relax and laugh. Now in the last four months I get blindsided by love and a girl that's pretty good (some would say f-ing awesome, and I would be one of them), and I've celebrated Christmas, New Year's, a birthday and now Valentine's Day.

Thankfully Clare doesn't like celebrating Valentine's Day, which is nice, but I still can't help but feel a little rusty when it comes to this stuff. Seriously, how do you know what to give when? The last thing I want to do is rush things or come up short. Oh well, I suppose we'll just figure these things out as we go. In the meantime I hope Clare is looking forward to the dinner I'm making for Tuesday night.

My favorite Greg stories

2006-02-05T01:10:00.000-05:00

My friend Greg called me last weekend asking me to stand in his wedding. Now, of course I said yes, as Greg is one of my oldest friends, having known him since freshman year of college. That being said, our relationship hasn't been one without its notable stories. Here are the pick of the litter.

Any of the LAR jail breaks. Getting out of the all-girls dorm after hours without the RAs finding you was always a challenge.
Almost getting the two of us in a fight with Tracey's (you remember that psycho redhead don't you?) best "friend" after she and I broke up.
Greg talking about how the concrete ceilings in Taft were poured.
The "mess" he made in his hotel room at Pam and Duby's wedding. I hope that Captain Morgan tasted better on the way down than it looked on the way up.
The time he drove up from Springfield for my 25th birthday, just to come out to my party that night.
That time he drove up to Chris and I's apartment and his car died because he forgot to turn his lights off.
The "move" he put on a certain friend of mine at a certain former roommate's wedding.

There are definitely more, but these are the ones that definitely come to mind. Congratulations Greg and Jamie!

Team America: Week 4 Report

2006-02-03T12:48:00.000-05:00

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

In another dominating performance, Team America swept league leading Digheads three games to none.

Coming off of a bye week that gave their coaches plenty of time to gameplan against the Digheads, Team America looked sharp sweeping the first place team through the three games of their match Thursday night.

Following strong performances in their last outing against Safe Sets, Matt Lehman was a particular stand out. Furby as he is known to his team mates, lead the team in serves and spikes at the net. Attributing his performance to his "I try to touch tall things" training regiment, Matt led an all around strong performance by Team America.

In a switch from previous weeks, Team America used a three setter formation, utilizing two additional setters. Not only did Bizmarck and Skewers acquit themselves well at the position, at multiple times they proved more apt at breaking on dinks than the regular setters Tron and Mathlete. While only time will tell if this rotation will gel, it seems the team was more relaxed utilizing the third setter.

Notably missing from the game was enforcer Bryan "Macho League" Stroh. On a number of occasions it was obvious that the opposing team was attempting to agitate Team America and take them out of their gameplan. While they were able to maintain their composure, TA would have benefitted from the presence of the added muscle Macho League brings.

Serving a three game suspension for being the first player in league history to use their skate as a weapon, Macho League vowed not to change his style of play to satisfy the league or their sponsors.

Several times during the match Captain America received the eye from his wife, and fellow Team America player Ali "Line Judge" Jacobsohn. Who should have had their eyes open were the officiating crew at Thursday's game.

A number of calls going against TA were questionable and why more penalties weren't assessed against the Digheads is something that an unnamed league official has said "raises great concern. You can be sure that tape of this game will be under review at league headquarters."

Next week, Team America faces the new number one team, Come From Behind.

Dat Laffy Taffy

2006-02-01T17:04:00.000-05:00

Things I learned in Atlanta while looking for Clare's fruit cup from Chick-fil-a...

Chick-fil-a rocks. I don't think I can emphasize this enough.
A 300lbs. man eating hot dogs and humping the turf at the Georgia Dome, all while nearly 200 marching band members play Run It is what I call entertainment.
There are limits to even my eating prowess. Chips, salsa, and cheese sauce followed by a brisket chimichanga for lunch. A mid afternoon snack of coca-cola cake. Buca di Beppo with calimari, fried mozzarella, fried shrimp, meatballs, bruscetta, veal marsala, pepperoni pizza, ravioli, and spaghetti. I'm just waiting for Kevin Spacey to come kill me for symbolizing gluttony.
Have I mentioned the Chick-fil-a waffle fries? Awesome.
Marching bands are cool.
Drivers in Atlanta are horrible. I'm convinced that their drivers ed programs are an N64 and a copy of MarioKart.
Every man in America now owns their own set of poker chips.
When a friend you haven't heard from in a while calls you in the middle of the night it's one of two things: 1) They need bail or 2) They just got engaged. Either way a warden is involved.
Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets make McNuggets taste like McCrap.
If blind-folded, I'm 100% certain that I can pick out Clare's voice in a line-up...as long as her sister isn't in it, then my chance go down to zero.
Nothing puts a kid to sleep better than a car ride. It worked in my day, and it works now.
Everytime a Buca waiter or waitress showed us outgoing food at our kitchen table, I felt like I needed to tell them, "You did a good job, now go show your ~~mom~~ other table."
Children's daytime television may be more addictive than crack and crispy cremes combined. I don't think I'll ever fully recover from "Mary had an accordion..." especially after Lee sang it a half dozen times on the way to dinner Sunday night.
Even at 75 mph it is acceptable to try to find a way out of a car if your girlfriend decides to start confessing things to her family while all of you are in that car.
I love goooold!

And the most important thing I learned in Atlanta...

When your girlfriend's family is as nice as Clare's, meeting them for the first time isn't as nerve wracking an experience as sitcoms would have us think.

Thanks to Hutch, Jennifer and Lee for putting us up and putting up with us for the weekend. I won't speak for Clare, but I had a great time meeting the entire Hutchinson (and Ezell) clan.

Team America: Week 2 Report

2006-01-20T14:10:00.000-05:00

In an early season match-up Team America dispatched Safe Sets three games to none last night.

Team America looked good early, easily winning the first game. Dominating from the outset it was obvious that America had ironed out rotational wrinkles that resulted in losing a game in last week's match. Game two started out similarly, with America coming out hitting and extending their lead after falling behind 2-0 early.

America played at a higher level defensively, with multiple players registering blocks. Jim Jacobsohn, a.k.a Captain America, registered his first career block and also a double team block with setter Steve “Tron” Veltman. When asked about it later, Jacobsohn responded, "I'm just happy to be here. Hope I can help the ballclub." Bryan Stroh is also credited with a number of single blocks and did an excellent job of making tackles in open space.

Not to be outdone the women of Team America put down vicious spikes. Ali "Line Judge" Jacobsohn sent a ball viciously across court, momentarily causing the opposing player to pee themselves. When questioned later about the incident the Safe Sets player responded, "If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis." Strong side hitter Brooke "So much more than a creek" Strathman lead the way in kills, literally. When asked about the incident Joel "Mathlete" Toledo said, "Brooke killed a guy. Actually I've been meaning to talk to her about that. She may want to lay low for a while. Stay with some relatives nearby or a safehouse. She's probably wanted by for murder."

The early lead proved to be fleeting as a combination of tough serving, sloppy serve receive and Mathlete coming up to set out of service position allowed Safe Sets back into the game. Team America survived the run but was down 14-11 at that point. Strong serves from Kristin “Skewers” Ewers and Sarah “Bizmarck” Colton brought them back along with strong digs by Matt “I try to touch tall things” Lehman. The highlight of the night came when Team America was at game point and Bryan “Macho League” Stroh announced his presence with authority and ended the game with a spike.

**Correction: When Team America was down 10-14 it was Matt "Furby" Lehman that rattled off five consecutive serves to bring us back. The defensive pick ups were made by Kristin and Sarah.**

Game three started with mass confusion, as Safe Sets went into a hurry-up no huddle offense and caught Team America with a bad defensive package on the field. When asked later about the debacle, defensive coordinator Veltman just responded by saying “I blanked.” Finally able to compose themselves, Team America went on to win the third game in rally scoring.

When asked at the post game news conference, Matt “Tall Things” Lehman summed it up best, “Let’s go drink.”

Next week – bye week.

End of the Season

2006-01-19T15:30:00.000-05:00

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. but it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

-Winston Churchill

I've been trying to figure out what to say about last Sunday's loss to the Carolina Panthers. I sat in disguised hopefulness throughout the game, knowing inside the outcome before the kick-off. As Del Homme connected with Steve Smith on the second play of the game for a long touchdown pass, part of me felt vindicated and the rest of myself hated me for it. Then something funny happened, the Bears came back. Through the course of the game the offense made enough plays and the defense got out of its own way enough to cut the lead to two points. In the end it wasn't enough, and the Bears' season is now over.

How is a fan supposed to feel? Do you analyze the game and the decisions made, dissecting every play and what could have happened differently? Do you look back on the 2005 campaign nostalgically, enjoying all the ups and downs and neck beards it brough? Do you put this season in the past and move on, looking forward to the upcoming draft and next season? I think in the end a true fan does all three.

I've finally gotten to the third party and hungrily await the 2006 season. I think enough progress was shown in this past year to give even the most cynical of fans hope that Chicago's playoff drought will be eased and they'll bring the Lombardi trophy back to Chi-town. So, as Churchill said, the beginning has ended, so let's see what comes next.

Don't Hassle the Hoff

2006-01-12T16:42:00.000-05:00

Apparently the International Federation Of Competitive Eating's new unit of measure for burgers is the exact weight of David Hasselhoff's head.

Let me give that a second to sink in.

Ready? No, ok.

...

Now? No?

...

My first question is why David Hasselhoff? What about David is synonymous with burgers? Schnitzel I can see. Even spatzel would be believable, but hamburgers? You may be saying to yourself, "But Foo Tasian, the hamburger hails from Hamburg, Germany doesn't it?" While that may be technically true, is anything more American than the hamburger?

My second question is will The Hoff comply with these requests? Seriously, he already made a guest appearance on American Idol a couple years back, what else does he have to lose. Not to mention he can plug the upcoming Knight Rider movie that is currently in production. He should just go for it and find out what that melon weighs.

See, what had happened was...

2006-01-03T19:00:00.000-05:00

Things I learned over New Year's weekend 2005-2006 as I waited for the beer to dry off my pants for the third time...

...my computer servers hate me and they know when I have a day off scheduled.

...my girlfriend can get drunk off of one glass of champagne.

...with the right people, 3-4 Plates of Penis can be really fun.

...apparently not everyone felt like getting serious about drinking.

...Piro can get serious enough about drinking for everyone.

...a 104 degree hot tub in 25 degree weather can make a lot of problems go away, especially when beer is involved.

...you must continually clean a house that you and 11 of your closest friends stay in on vacation, otherwise the final clean-up will be a nightmare.

...golfing may or may not be a sport depending on who you are talking to.

...Piro can do rockstar kicks so high that his back leg will come out from under him, and that's hilarious.

...lamps make suitable microphone replacements.

...chili and cornbread, ain't nothin' wrong with that.

...no more bets, no more bets.

...five homemade dips with accompanying chips far surpasses a bag of doritos and a couple of frozen pizzas.

...the amount of gas in a vacation house decreases exponentially with an increase in girls.

...flippy cup is an awesome game, as long as you don't have the suckie person on your team.

...Trivial Pursuit Millennium edition has a lot of questions about Filipinos in it.

...the number of ducks stepped on increased dramatically after the chili dinner.

...inadequate pants! Inadequate pants!

And the final thing I learned this New Year's weekend...

...the New Year's eve countdown is much more fun with a girlfriend.

Happy New Year Everyone!

State of Mind

2005-12-19T18:00:00.000-05:00

I was having weird flashbacks this weekend where I suddenly felt like I just finished the semester and I had a month off. Unfortunately I came crashing back to earth and realized that I work for a living and now I'm lucky if I get a week off where the office doesn't call me more than three times. That being said I think I'm ready for Del Boca Vista and retirement.

In other news I realized that I, in fact, cannot do three things at once especially if those three things involve a 6-star Sudoku puzzle (as hard as they come in the Red Eye), holding a conversation with Clare, and watching the Bears game. At best I could do two of those things, so as any normal guy would I chose Sudoku and the Bears.

Ok, actually I chose Clare and the Bears, and she was nice enough to endure me rambling on about the Cover 2 defense, the virtues (and limitations) of having as fast a defensive front four as the Bears have, Kyle Orton's neckbeard (yes I'm back on that again), and the dangers of having a quarterback controversy this late in the season. I'm pretty sure I lost her when I started explaining the run blocking schemes that the Falcons were (unsuccessfully) employing against the Bears D and Urlacher's role in that...then again glazed over eyes are a good thing right?

Seriously though, she was trying to understand something I love even though she's already said she'd never totally get into it and I appreciated it.

PDA

2005-12-18T11:14:00.000-05:00

No, not public displays of affection or even personal digital assistant. The PDA I'm referring to is public displays of asswhuppin' and we almost unleashed some last night.

So Clare and I went to go see Eric Hutchinson play at Schuba's last night. Now before I get to the potential PDA let me just say that if you've never heard him do yourself a favor and get his CD. You can download a few of his live shows on the live music archive at Archive.org as well.

It was a great concert, except for the two girls standing right behind us having a conversation THROUGH THE WHOLE CONCERT! Honestly I would have turned around and smacked them but I don't hit women, instead I had Clare do it. Ok, she didn't hit them so much as give them a "mom look" which promptly shut them up for a few minutes.

Seriously, no one is making you stay. Go ahead and talk about your Juicy Coture jeans and your new Jetta outside where I don't have to listen to it. Along the same lines, after he finished one of his songs Eric dedicated it to the girl in the front row that was talking on her cell phone the entire time. Good stuff, gotta love it.

That being said, it was still an awesome concert and the best part is they recorded it and are going to release a CD of it next year. (and if a certain someone that doesn't like to hear applause on his/her CDs would like a copy I suppose I'd make one for him/her.)

Damn you and your estrogenical tyranny!

2005-12-12T16:58:00.000-05:00

So yeah, I went as Stewie for Halloween. Not bad for my first papier mache outing. Now seeing Stewie drink from a bottle...a beer bottle at that...was very interesting.

See, she's real...

2005-12-10T18:04:00.000-05:00

...and she's not inflatable. Here are Clare and I down on Michigan Ave. taking in the lights. Aren't we just disgustingly cute? Ok, maybe that's just her...

Chuck Norris

2005-12-09T21:07:00.000-05:00

This is possibly one of the funniest Web sites I've seen this year. Not only do they have a listing for Chuck Norris but for Mr. T as well (I choose to ignore the section on Vin Diesel). My question is this...when did Chuck reach his tipping point? Yeah, he had Walker: Texas Ranger, but there's a reason it got cancelled right? Was it the appearance in Dodgeball last year? Don't get me wrong, he's got the beard, the steely gaze and some sweet moves but even I can't explain why I think it's so funny.

I Believe... (part one)

2005-12-09T17:02:00.000-05:00

I had a running page on my Web site with a bunch of "I believe that..." statements. I never made it public because I was going to launch it with the new redesign that has been months in the making. For now I guess I'll release them bit by bit here when I'm stuck for blog ideas and then collate them on my site. So, with no further ado...

I believe...

…the only true martini is a dry, gin martini.

…by the age of 11 you should have picked the teams you’re going to root for for life…and at least one of those teams should be the same as your Dad’s.

…in a cross-country road race, Bo Duke could out drive B.A. Baracas, but only because the General Lee was the better vehicle.

…Snoop’s Doggystyle is the magnum opus of hip hop albums.

…comic books are a legitimate form of literature.

…a good steak needs only to be seasoned with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper.

There's plenty more where that came from, but there will be time enough for that.

Holla'

Steak, eggs and Da Bears

2005-12-05T23:55:00.000-05:00

I love Chicago, always have and always will. What I think I love most though is the fact that you can't go anywhere on a Sunday during football season and miss a Bears game. That being said, there are some places that are better than others. Take for example The Lion's Head Pub. For $6 you can get a good NY Strip steak, two eggs, hash browns, and toast on any Sunday and if you're in the mood, buck fifty Miller lite drafts. Add to that the fact that everywhere you turn the Bears game is on, and you have the makings of a great Sunday afternoon.

That being said I'm getting a bit nervous watching the Bears lately. Yeah, their defense is ranked number one in the league, but their offense is HORRIBLE! Orton went 6/17 for 68 yards passing. Honestly, I could probably throw 6 for 17. Add to it that he's going with the neck beard. How can you respect a quarterback that's growing a neck beard! To call this offense anemic would be an offense to lackluster red blood cells everywhere.

While I think they're going to the playoffs I have my doubts that they'll actually win a game. Unless of course they can pull off a first round bye and home field advantage maybe they win. (Soldier Field in January? Green Bay is the only team I would give a chance, and they're definitely not going to be there.) That being said, if the Bears do end up in the Super Bowl, I'll be in line outside Soldier Field trying to get tickets.

Christmas gifts

2005-11-29T16:16:00.000-05:00

I'm about half way through my Christmas shopping, and it happened again. I ended up buying something for my sister that I totally want for myself. I may actually be good this year and refrain from buying myself stuff while I'm shopping, since I've been kind of a pain in the butt to those that have to buy gifts for me in years past. Then again, I might not.

Tortured by karaoke

2005-11-24T20:48:00.000-05:00

So I figured that I'd get a bit of the third degree at Thanksgiving regarding the new girlfriend. What I didn't expect was the creativity with which that ribbing would come. Our holiday karaokefest was marked by multiple lovesongs chosen by my aunts, uncles and cousins giving me a hard time about being away from Clare. Everyone is excited and happy for me, which is nice, although I did have to move into press conference mode with the karaoke mic to handle all the questions in one shot. Other than that, I've overeaten again this Thanksgiving, but that's to be expected isn't it?

Totally missing you Clare!

We need you to build up to anger...

2005-11-22T12:46:00.000-05:00

So I did some voice over work for a DVD my company is putting out. It was very cool and a bit nervewracking being in an actual recording studio for the first time. I think my Christina Aguilera impersonation went over their heads, either that or the leather chaps threw them off. Seriously though, I wouldn't mind doing a bit of voice work on the side. In the meantime I suppose I'll have to make due with my life as a wisecracking, tough as nails, police detective that actually has a heart of gold.

**Almost forgot. The reason for the blog title is that during my recording session I was apparently too laid back. Apparently trial lawyers are bit more animated than I was during my takes and I needed to "come with more anger."

So here we go...

2005-11-21T23:34:00.000-05:00

My girlfriend is a bit of a blogger and introduced Blogger.com to me. Eventually the inner Doogie Howser got the better of me and I decided to start a blog of my own. I figure it's only fair, if I get to peer into her thoughts she should be able to do the same with mine. That and it'll help me keep track of when I work overtime at the office since I'll probably end up compalining about it here.

So a little bit of explanation on the blog title. A few years ago I made mix cds for some friends and made covers. Well a friend of Cindy's (my then roommate's now wife) misread the label. It says "sixfootasian," which is my nick name, but instead she misread it and asked Cindy, "What's a foo tasian anyway?"

I guess that's that for my first post. Thanks to Clare for the inspiration and Al Gore for inventing the internet.