Where are my shorts?

It's 43 degrees outside and it's like a heatwave. Seriously, I'm ready to break my shorts out of storage. We've been stuck in sub-average, sub-zero, sub-human weather for nearly a month. Just last week, Clare blogged about it being -4 out, now it's nearly 50. Ahhh, Chicago weather, you gotta love it.

I will say though, this being my first winter without a car, I am enjoying it. Sure, it sucks having to go over to the local grocery store for my foodstuffs as opposed to the Dominick's that I'm used to. It wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that

1. Their bell peppers look like they've been kept in someone's trunk for a couple of weeks before they make it to the store.
2. They only have rotisserie chickens on Mondays, and by 5:30 they've been under a heater for four to five hours.
3. They're trying to work a "Target Greatland" kind of angle and it's not working. In the past month they've had TV/DVD combos, motorized scooters, propane grills, closet organizers, vacuums and Super Bowl merchandise on sale next to the produce section.
4. Their ground beef is a nice reddish-pink...for the first quarter inch or so. Once you get inside it's all brown. I don't know what that means, but I don't like it.

Now on the other hand, the Big Apple store just south of me gets things right. The produce is always fresh, although the produce manager can be a bit creepy sometimes, and they're just there selling food. I would head over here more often, but their meat counter is so good I'd probably blow my entire food budget on steaks (on second thought, that doesn't sound like a bad idea).

I digress, enough about the grocery stores in my neighborhood. Winter has been colder than I can remember it being in a long time. Clare kept saying last winter that it wasn't so bad. She isn't say that anymore. Luckily though, she has Big Coat and I have Puffy Coat, so we've managed to stay warm.

All that's over now, at least for the next week anyway. It's supposed to be in the high 30s, which means I can go out with just my wool coat and a scarf, as opposed to a sweater, puffy coat, two pairs of gloves and a knit hat or two. Hopefully the weather will hold, but this being Chicago I'm not holding my breath.

I've meandered a bit in this post, but I think that's because I can finally feel my fingers again. To those of you braving the cold, good luck and stay warm. If you're in a more temperate locale, I'll hold my tongue before I say something ungentlemanly. Meanwhile, I'm off to look for those shorts.

Nostalgia

It's become increasily more difficult to find the strands of my past in the fabric of my current life. I know they're there, but they've become just a few of the many woven in. Finding the time to single them out and follow them back offers a glimpse into who I was at the time and how much I've changed.

This morning I've been somewhat nostalgic. There are a few reasons for this, the first of which is my old roommate Chris. Chris and his wife Cindy moved to Indianapolis well over a year ago, and will be having their first child very soon. I thought when my friends got married it blew my mind, now they're having kids and becoming full fledged adults.

Chris was my step-twin since college. Drinking, checking out girls, grilling enormous steaks, watching sports and did I mention drinking? These were the things that we did with our time, and we generally did it together. But now he's married, to a great girl I might add, and now he's going to be a dad.

I haven't talked to Chris since we all went to Chambana for the OSU game. With everything that has been going on in both our lives we've both been stereotypically guy-like in this regard. There's the occasional e-mail and I'm sure I'll call to wish them congratulations when Ben/Emily is born. Clare and I definitely need to make it out to Indy for a visit, but probably not until things have settled down a bit for them.

Another reason for the nostlagia is one that stretches all the way back to junior high. I found out at Christmas that one of my oldest friends, Paul, moved down to St. Louis. I've probably talked to Paul once in the past year, so why I was surprised that I hadn't heard he moved I'm not sure.

I've known Paul since seventh grade and he was one of my best friends in high school and college. After numerous road trips for youth group, hanging out on weekends, and years of joking around, I'm finding it difficult to zero in on any one specific memory. Whether it was the "Ross & Rachel" like crush that lasted between him and another member of our youth group, that he strapped a video camera to his head for one summer trip, or the mohawk that he shaved into his head before junior pictures,* there are just too many to choose from.

After I moved into the city, Paul and I saw less of each other. It's weird how far 30 miles can be at times. We went from hanging out all the time to seeing each other once a month, to every couple of months, to just at holidays, to where we're at right now.

With all the current demands on my time and attention I live firmly in the present, but at times it feels like I've been cut-off from my past. But that's never really true. True friends, like the ones I've had and currently have, never truly go away. One just needs to find them time to follow the strands back (or make a phone call every once in a while).

*Nohawks can be fun, even as a joke. Paul shaved one into his head at the start of soccer practice junior year. The plan was to keep it for the week and then shave it off for his yearbook photo. Well a week of outdoor practice and no sunscreen later you can imagine the results. Paul looked like a skunk. I think we finally got him some spray on tan, but the look on his face when he took off his hat the first time to show us was hilarious.

It's been so long I think I've forgotten how to do this.

It's been a while since I last updated so to catch everyone up I'll just bullet point the past few months out.

• Thanksgiving: I ate too much and had fun with the family.
• December: Went by entirely too quickly
• Dad's birthday: Woo-hoo! 61 years under your belt. Way to go Dad!
• Christmas: Clare and I spent it together at my parents' house on Xmas eve and with her family in Evansville on Xmas day. Lots of great presents, lots of time in the car, lots of family and no major arguments...not too bad in my opinion.
• New Year's Eve: Before leaving for Florida, Clare scored tickets for the Bears game. After watching them lose I think I can think of better ways to spend that $75. Still, it was fun to have something to do that night other than gourge myself for another day.

Whew, with the major stuff out of the way I can elaborate on a couple of things that have been going on. First, I know I haven't been writing much here but I've been a bit wrapped up in The Show and the related goings on there. Once the football season is over I should get back into the swing of things over here at the FooTasian. That sentiment actually leads quite nicely into my second point, New Year's resolutions.

I'm not the type that usually makes New Year's resolutions. I've tried a few times to varying success. Also, having worked at a gym for the past few years I've seen waaaay too many people that have set unreachable goals for themselves. So put that all together and my excitement for the idea is lackluster at best. For some reason though, I've decided that I'll give it another try.

To that end I've decided on the following resolution: I will make 12, one month resolutions this year. I know, it sounds like cheating, but in the end I don't care. Trying to hold yourself to a year long goal can be daunting, so better to break it up into smaller parts and go from there.

What's my first resolution you ask? Well, I'll tell you. I've decided not to eat out for dinner more than once a week. Additionally I can't repeat a restaurant unless I've been to two others since the last time I went there.

I figure this resolution will kill many birds with one stone. First, it helps save money since I was going out to eat waaaaay too much. Second, the restaurants I had been going to inevitably ended up being the same ones I always went to. And last, this will encourage me to stay home and cook more, leading to leftovers, which lead to me not eating out as much for lunch either. All in all, not a bad deal. Plus Clare and I get to go to some cool restaurants along the way.

We'll see if I stick with this one after January, but so far things have looked promising. That's all for now. I'll check back in after the Bears win (crossing my fingers, knock on wood) this weekend.

U of I Pictures

Welcomed Back with Open Arms

To thy happy children
of the future
Those of the past
send greetings

It was a homecoming of sorts this past weekend when a bunch of my old friends and I made the trek down to Chambana (Champaign + Urbana = Chambana, or Shampoo Banana if you like) for the Ohio State – Illinois match-up. Illinois went into the game 26 point underdogs. How did they finish? Sure, they lost, but only by seven points and they sacked the OSU quarterback a number of times. All in all, there’s hope for the future of Illinois football.

Suffice it to say, with that kind of match-up we weren’t exactly there to watch the football game. We hadn’t all been together in some time so we thought this would be as good a time as any to all hang out and reminisce of our glory days at Illinois. On top of that, I was able to take Clare around campus this time with me.

Things are pretty much the same on campus as when I was there. The Quad still looks the same, the Alma Mater (pictured above) is still in one piece, and the Morrow Plots are still next to the Undergrad. There were however, small details that seemed out of place. For instance, they now have a Chipotle, Noodles & Co., Potbelly, and Starbucks on campus. How, exactly, are college kids supposed to afford these things? I could barely afford La Bamba’s and a Murph burger while I was in school. Now they have actual eating establishments on campus? Ridiculous.

Other than that and a few small things, things really haven’t changed. Girls still forego coats in the middle of the winter on their way to the bar, guys are still drunk meatheads, and you can still see them all walk home at 9 o’clock the next morning. The Murphy’s mega bacon cheeseburger is still tops, although their fries can be a bit hit or miss at times. You can still get three t-shirts for the price of one at T.I.S. and beer is still cheap as hell down there.

Really the only thing missing was Preacher Dan on the Quad and everyone running after Thunder for his mandatory ass beatings. It was a good time and hopefully we’ll do it again, but with kids here and on the way, those trips may have to wait a little while. It was nice to go back to where so much had happened, that home away from home from so long ago. I really was a happy child of the past, and I have the memories and friends to prove it.

Prep Unit

You may have already seen this, but it's worth another look.

Hiro's a Ninja!

Well, since it’s my turn to update my blog I thought I would talk about my new favorite TV show, NBC’s Heroes. I can’t say enough about this show. It’s well written, suspenseful, about “superheroes,” and the special effects make it seem like a big budget movie every week. Add to that the diverse cast and good acting and it can’t be beat.

In case you haven’t been watching here’s a quick rundown: Ordinary people are discovering they have special powers that make them more than ordinary. Meanwhile in the background, forces are orchestrating events to advance their agendas while the fate of everyone in New York and possibly the world hangs in the balance. Whew! How can you not love that? (Have I mentioned that Ali Larter is an online porn star?)

Scripted TV is finally coming back in a big way. Other than Project Runway (which I gave a try since Clare so openly embraced football), I can’t watch reality television shows. Unfortunately that seemed to be the only thing on for a while. Now there’s this, Battlestar Galactice on Sci-Fi (which is another must see) and 24 comes back at the start of the year. I am soooo glad that I bought the new TV, because this season is going to be awesome.

Anyway, back to Heroes. I have to say that Hiro Nakamura is my favorite for the following reasons:

1. He’s Asian and you really don’t see that too much on network TV.
2. His part is well written.
3. His powers are awesome. Time manipulation and teleportation, how can it get any better?
4. The actor portraying him, Masi Oka, does so with the wide-eyed wonderment and idealism of a child. Not to mention he has degrees in mathematics and computer science, and works for George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic.
5. He becomes a ninja!
   

In the end, I’m glad we started watching this show at the out set. The last thing I wanted was a repeat of the Lost situation…everyone jumps on and says you have to watch because it’s soo good, but since you missed the first few episodes there’s a hard place to jump back in and you end up never doing so. Well, I don’t think that’ll happen with Heroes. It’s highly accessible, they show repeats on Sci-Fi and on their website, and they do a good job bringing you along in the writing.

If you haven’t already started watching, I highly recommend doing so.

p.s. – If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, it’s been here. The podcast is going pretty well. Our subscriptions keep increasing and now we’re starting to reach out to sponsors. I will warn you though, it’s not for the faint of heart. After a few beers my friends can get a teensy bit foul mouthed.

Return of the Super Blog

Ok so it’s been a while since I last updated my blog. That’s mostly been due to the fact that it’s summer in Chicago and while it lasts I spend as much time outside as possible. What about work you ask? Well, they’ve actually figured out a way to keep me busy for the past month or so, so in-office updating hasn’t been as frequent as I would have liked.

So, where do we go from here? Why don’t I just cover everything that’s happened since my last substantive post.

1) In late June I visited Dennison University for the first time. Clare was there for a Dennis Singers reunion and I went to cheer her on. After a dapper introduction to the group, we proceeded back to the dorm room for a rousing game of Yee Haw! and beer pong (which I must add, I am ridiculously good at). The concert was very good, although Clare thought that one of the other sopranos was loud and half a step flat. On top of everything, I got to meet some of Clare’s friends, namely Jack, Sarah, Jeff and Leslie (yay Leslie!).

Leslie was nice enough to put us up for a night at her place so that we could all hang out. She’s just as snarky in person as she is in her blog, even more so once Clare and her got together. She did an excellent job entertaining and playing host and since I didn’t say it before I’ll say it now, thanks Leslie!

2) Fourth of July weekend was pretty ridiculous. Saturday was spent at the grassy knoll, having a few beverages and laying out. After a few hours and entirely too much alcohol sun we brought it in and hung out at Clare’s place. After an interesting dinner at the Melrose, I proceeded to lose my fastball in a spectacular way.

Sunday was spent out in the burbs attending Abigail Laurel Robinson’s baptism. Let me tell you, she is one pretty and well-behaved baby, so congratulations on that to Laurel and Jared.

On the third (Chicago’s traditional night to celebrate the nation’s birthday), we were able to head out to the Columbia yacht club and take in a good buffet and the city’s fireworks extravaganza. We all ended up with yacht club names, mine was Chaz and Clare’s was Buffy.

On the fourth we ended up back out at the grassy knoll for more laying out and that was that.

3) On July 8th, Clare and I caught Too White Crew at the Wrigleyville Summer block party. This cover band defies explanation, if only because its entire repertoire consisted of old school hip-hop. This deserves an entry of its own, so I’m leaving it at that.

4) The weekend of the 15th I head back out to the burbs and caught up with my old roommate Chris and his wife Cindy. They moved out to Indianapolis about a year ago now and have bought a house out in Fischer. Also, Chris and Cindy are expecting their first child early next year. With any luck he’ll have a girl and when she’s ready she can start dating guys just like her dad.

5) The big trip to Florida. This deserves its own entry, so let me just say right now that I had a great time and would definitely go back again, if only for the chance at a rematch between me and David versus Clare and Sharon at hand and foot.

6) I bought a new phone last weekend. So bye-bye Sprint, hello Verizon.

For those of you asking, “Where are all the pictures?” Well, those will be up at a later time. I’m working on a little something special for you guys, so just hold tight.

So to recap, July – very busy, but very fun.

(Blog updated, are you happy now Melissa?)

The Chaz

More to come.

The 45 minute drive for everything…or why I’ll never live in California

My family and I were in California this weekend to celebrate my grandmother’s 86th birthday. We try to make the trip every year recently, and spending time with our extended families is always a welcome diversion from the day-to-day grind. Every time that I’m out there someone, either a an aunt, uncle or cousin, inevitably asks me when I’m moving out there. Invariably, I give the same answer, “We’ll see.” In all honesty, the answer should be, “Once L.A. becomes more of a pedestrian city, I’ll consider it. Until then, there’s no way I’m putting up with that much traffic.”

As an example, here are the things that my cousin Mark and I did from the time he picked me up at LAX to the time he dropped me off at my aunt’s house Sunday afternoon.

1) LAX to his house.
2) Lunch at Shaka’s, a pretty good Hawaiian cuisine restaurant.
3) The mall to pick up gifts for my God children.
4) Met up with his girlfriend while she had lunch with friends.
5) Hung out at her house.
6) Went to my aunt’s house.
7) Went to In-n-Out
8) Hung out at the Spectrum boardwalk in Irvine.
9) Back to Mark’s.
10) The next morning we went to REI.
11) Then to Sports Chalet
12) Back to Mark’s.
13) My grandmother’s party
14) My other aunt’s house.
15) The movie theatre.
16) Back to Mark’s.
17) Church on Sunday morning.
18) My other aunt’s house.

Now keep a few things in mind. First, everywhere we went was either in L.A. or Orange counties. Second, this was over the course of a day and a half. Last, the cheapest gas price I saw (for premium) was $3.47 a gallon. Now take a guess at how many miles we logged and how long we were in the car.

Milage: a) 80-149 miles, b) 150-249 miles, c) 250-450 miles
Hours in the car: a) 2-4 hours, b) 5-8 hours, c) 9-12 hours

Have you guessed yet? No, ok I’ll wait.

….

….

We topped out at just over 380 miles in almost 12 hours in the car. Look at that list and tell me you couldn’t get most of that done in Chicago in a quarter the milage and half the time. On top of that, Mark gassed up twice while I was there and spent nearly $50 each time. That is the main reason why I could never live in California. I would go nuts spending that much time in any car let alone my own.

Everything in Southern California is built around the car culture. There’s a mediocre, at best, attempt at mass transit in what’s the second largest city in the nation. I think they have all of two rail lines. Everyone drives, the interstates are massive, and I think I have black lung now due to the smog.

Mark was telling me that one of the interstates we were on is being expanded. I looked out, it was already six lanes in each direction (five for regular traffic, and one for the carpoolers.) Honestly, what’s going to happen to Cali if an oil shortage hits? It’s not like they can just switch over to bikes or rely on rail lines.

One thing I have to admire though is the encyclopedic knowledge everyone there seems to have for locations. You could ask someone there where to go for sushi and they’d be able to name four to five new places all over L.A. and Orange counties, all of which are, you guessed it, 45 minutes away. This would be like me telling you that the new Chipotle in Kane county is a way better set up than the one in Will. It honestly, boggles my mind.

Another redeeming factor for California is the fact that they have In-n-Out there. Simply awesome. I can not stress this enough. If I ever ended up living there I would definitely gain 10 lbs. immediately because I'd probably be getting Double-doubles and milk shakes all the time. Don't even get me started on the fact that they have Chic-fil-A there either.

But this brings me back to my original point. Getting to any of these things usually took at least 30 minutes, usually closer to 45, to get to. After spending my 28 years in Illinois, and the last six in Chicago I don't think I could ever drive more than 15 minutes to get anywhere. Unless of course you're talking about the Chipotle over in Dekalb, because that's a good one.

Flying High

The following two posts were written while traveling somewhat comfortably from Chicago to L.A. for my Grandmother's birthday.

Mobile birth control…Or why I hate to fly Southwest

Now don’t get me wrong, Southwest definitely has some things going for it. It’s inexpensive, they’re on time, and their flight crews are some of the friendliest and funniest in the industry. What I hate about Southwest is the fact that they’ve turned into the Greyhound of the skies. Almost anyone can get a Southwest ticket, and that includes families with little children.

(Now before I get too far into my rant I’ll be honest, when I finally have a family I’ll probably end up taking Southwest and render myself a complete hypocrite in the process.)

A fun little game that we’ve come up with is trying to figure out which kid will be the biggest pain in the ass on the flight. Originally my strategy was to find the loudest most misbehaved kids in the terminal and pick them as my horse. It turns out that it’s a little more complicated than that. Now my strategy is to identify all the kids boarding my flight. Once I have them marked observe if they’re already misbehaving or if they’re sleeping. It’s the sleepers that I’ve learned to watch out for, if only for the fact that they’ll have a ton of energy and be fidgety for the entire flight. Next, figure out how weary their parents are. Full of energy? Great, they’ll put up a fight and hopefully keep their kid under wraps. Tired with a look of defeat in their eyes? Well, that kind of explains itself doesn’t it? The selection process is definitely a work in progress, but it’s definitely better.

As I’m writing this I’m trying to figure out if there’s some way I can turn this into a gambling pool. How would you measure who won? Is it a most passengers annoyed kind of thing? Or do you go with decibels? Perhaps it could be pure duration for a tantrum. Elias would have a field day with this. Little Johnny Smith has a annoyance percentage of 52% in Boeing 737 during coast-to-coast flights this season when sitting next to his father in a window seat. Can you imagine if ESPN covered something like this? Sue Wiggins put on a Herculean show of endurance today, outlasting the Juarez child with a tantrum of one hour and 30 minutes, managing to connect on 35 of 40 passengers within earshot.

Seriously, this could work. You set up the pool at the gate before everyone boards, odds makers would scout the kids out prior to and everyone would make their picks as they handed in their boarding passes. You’d have parents refusing to tend to their kids just to squeeze out a few extra seconds. They’d start bringing multiple kids on board just for the assists. You'd have travelers checking out the departure boards like they were at an OTB. If the airline ran it their cut would provide an additional revenue stream. Seriously, this has to happen. I might even consider flying Southwest again if it did.

On turning 28…or how Optimus Prime made me grow up

Champaign is 150 miles and six years away from my life in Chicago. The drive down I-57 was always a long and uneventful one (unless you count the time the Civic’s engine blew-up, but that’s a story for another time). The road from 20 to 28 however has been full of the usual twists and turns one expects during this time of life. Some of your friends are still in school, are already married, or are parents. There are the successful, the less so, and the ones in between. Out of the shielded reality of school we stand on our own making our way through the world.

Three recent events have encouraged me to turn a retrospective eye on the past decade. First is the fact that I turned 28 last month. Second, I received the save the date for my 10-year high school reunion. Last, I just found out that they are about to release a Transformers: The Movie 20th Anniversary edition. The first two are understandablely vexing, but surprisingly enough (or not surprisingly if you know me) it was the last that really got me freaking out.

At 28, a ten year high school reunion is pretty much your sign that you are no longer a child. Seriously, this is the stuff that Thursday night sitcom plots revolve around. Guy goes to reunion to confront his high school nemesis and hilarity ensues. Girl goes to show off how thin and hot she has become, while her school-age tormentors have turned into fat cows, and don’t forget hilarity ensues. I guess my point is, the ten year reunion was something mythological existing out in the ether. “No, I’m too young to worry about that.” “Wasn’t the five year reunion just a little while ago?” Well, now it’s here and there’s no avoiding it.

I suppose freaking out is too strong a word, but honestly how could it already be 20 years since Megatron, defeated in the battle to end all battles, delivered a cheapshot fatal blow to Optimus Prime. I hated Hot Rod for distracting Optimus long enough for Megatron to deliver that blow but I forgave him for two reasons. First, he discovered that the Decepticons had commandeered the ship flying into the Autobot base and second he did, after all, redeem himself in the end by opening the Autobot matrix of leadership, becoming Rodimus Prime and defeating Unicron at the end. (To answer that question that's floating in your mind, yes, you should be scared that I wrote about that, and doubly so because I'm currently on a plane flying to California, so it was from memory.)

I suppose the fact that I was able to remember all of that stands as testament to the importance that particular movie held to my childhood. I can remember going to the movie theater and being close to tears when Optimus dies and being near hysterical when Hot Rod turned into Rodimus. Is it really so long ago that we went to the video store to rent the movie for my ninth birthday, on Beta no less? The fact that next year I could buy the movie a drink (you know, if it was human) has started to put my age into a different perspective.

Gone are the days where the future is some destination down the road, one that I’ll reach when I’m brought to it. As it turns out, I’m here, so what am I waiting for? As it turns out, I’m not waiting for much. Compared to some my life is very good, to others I haven’t done (or accumulated) enough, but to me it feels right. I work hard to find a balance between being happy with what I’ve accomplished and what there is left to be done. I have a loving family, a beautiful girlfriend, friends that I trust, a good job and a growing faith. Other than that 20th anniversary dvd, what more could I need to face the road ahead?

The Jennifers...or When Birds Attack

So this was the weekend of Jennifers, as it was my sister's birthday and Clare's sister's visit to Chicago.

My Jennifer, or Jenny, JBean, or Chuck as she's know by her friends celebrated her birthday by paying a whole lot of money to go to a salon and get her hair done. Granted it did look nice and the highlights were good especially in light of what they look like on most Asians, but for the amount that she paid I could have bought a few rounds of golf, an iPod or Liza Minelli for a day. Seriously though, I suppose my perspective is skewed since I usually don't spend more than $20 on a haircut. Granted, I'll probably go 5-6 times more in a given year than she will but still. Anyway, we went out for dinner as a family Saturday night and that was nice. We ended up at Domo 77, a local hibachi restaurant. If you've never been, I highly recommend it. Our chef was great and successfully executed the onion volcano. All in all a good time.

Earlier in the day I was able to spend time with Clare and her sister Jennifer (did I mention it was the weekend of Jennifers?) downtown. As Jennifer mentioned in the Ezell blog, the food was great but the beignets were ridiculously good. I had the Max burger, which is a 1/2 pound of ground beef, rib tips, bacon, mushrooms, barbecue sauce and cheddar cheese. Did I finish it? Of course, but I've felt lighter.

After lunch we decided to kill time before their movie and took a walk around Millennium Park. The jewel of the Chicago Park District, Millennium park was officially opened in the summer of 2004. It has outdoor art in the Bean, or Cloud Gate as it is officially known, and the water faces fountain/sculpture. It also has a Frank Gery designed amphitheatre which we took a walk around. Next to the theatre are the gardens. They have a recreated prairie landscape, wading pool/river, and an evergreen "forest." This is the point in the story where we get into trouble. As we were walking past some of the evergreens a kamikaze finch comes out of nowhere and pegs me right in the back of the head. This was a traumatizing experience, and in case you can't picture it I'll provide a vivid reenactment. Suffice it to say Jennifer and Clare thought this was hilarious, but at least they stopped laughing long enough to see how I was doing. Obviously, from the post incident picture above, I am ok.

So to summarize...Jennifer T - good birthday, great highlights. Jennifer E. - good visit, great food. As for the finch, well let's just say that I'm hanging around Millennium Park with a sling shot during my lunch hours.

May 2006

After a prolonged absence I’m back. I was going to write another uber-blog but decided that it was taking too long to get around to doing that. Instead let’s just recount all that May 2006 had to offer in convenient list form. Now from the top, with feeling…

• The New Hotness. If you haven’t already read my entry I was poetic about the fallen Crackpod and my New Hotness.
• The birthday. I’m getting old. Ok maybe not that old, but when Transformers the movie is celebrating its twentieth anniversary, you know you’re not a young man any more.
• Days off. I had to use seven days of vacation in May or I would lose them. What did I do with all of those days? See the next point.
• Video games. May’s weather was craptacular so I ended up spending a bunch of my time playing Civ 3 (yes, I know Civ 4 is out, but when C3 plus the two expansion packs are selling for $20 how could I pass it up?) and Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006. These are two of the most addictive games in history. In fact, they deserve an entry all their own.
• Mrs. Hutchinson Sharon came to town. After Clare spirited her around town, Sharon was nice enough to take us out to Fogo for dinner. Thanks!
• The Grand Prix is no more. After seven of the most expensive months in my automotive history I sold my car. It was the first car that I bought and I wish I could have held on to it, but after the window got busted in (after everything else that happened) it was the final straw. At least I got a good price from Carmax.
• The stomach flu. When you can’t keep saltines and Pepto Bismol down you know it’s going to be a bad few days.
• Mother’s Day. Hope you enjoy those Wicked tickets Mom!
• The end of 24. You know, I’d like to see just one regular day in Jack’s life. Something like, he goes to Starbucks, checks his e-mail, mows the lawn. Something like that, only because you know he’d end up killing at least 12 people through the course of it.
• Memorial Day weekend. My liver is still recovering, but at least we were able to take the cornhole bean bag set out on its maiden voyage.
• Team America. We lost our last match to a bunch of wanks and then we got bounced in the first round of the play-offs. Here’s to another great season!

That’s pretty much it for May. I wish I would have written more through the month, but this will have to suffice. Entries should be coming a little more regularly though, as we document Clare’s first summer in Chicago.

Team America: Week 6 Report

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Another week and another character building experience. On the bright side, at least Jim and Ali didn't fight on court...they left that to the other couple. Thankfully all was patched up prior to the end of the night.

Now, even though we lost the match three games to none there were highlights. So allow me to break these down by player:

Jim - I'm just going to call you wall crawler from now on. Back to back scrambling plays on the wall, one where you pulled a Jackie Chan and jumped off it? Love it.

Ali - Holy crap, have your floor burns healed yet? Thank God you threw your self all over the place to pick up digs, because I know I wasn't going to get to them.

Stroh - Where the hell did that hitting display come from? And a good back row set to the strong side hitter?

Steve - Ok, so I know you're disappointed you didn't convert more of the sets that came your way, but you did put some impressive ones down.

Sarah, Kristen, and me - Good job setting guys. The decisions to put the ball over on two instead of the set were almost all good ones. You also did a good job adjusting to the guy in the grey shirt dinking balls over on two.

Matt and Gail - Where the hell are you?

That being said, we have a bye week this week and we're back in action for the last week of the regular season next Tuesday. Our opponents, Hank Scorpio, sit at 8-10 one spot directly in front of us. The bad thing is, even by taking all three games we can't move up in the rankings. The good thing is, even if we lose all three games we probably won't move down in the rankings because Set Shorty is more than likely to lose their set as well.

The New Hotness

First off, yes I know, I usually would have a Team America update here to cover the last game, but I couldn’t in good conscience have three straight volleyball entries. So, if you’re one of my loyal readers, and are jonesing for some vball, I’ll have that post up tomorrow.

On a more pleasant note, I would like to introduce the newest member of the family, my brand new 60 GB black iPod, henceforth to be known as “The New Hotness.” This is to distinguish it from the “Old and busted” Crackpod. You can read more of its bustedness, but long story short it had a dent in the back, the harddrive wouldn’t spin, and that’s not covered by the warranty.

Fortunately, Apple does run what it calls an “iPod recycling program” that gives you 10% off the purchase of a new iPod when you recycle an old iPod, iPod mini or an iPod nano. So, figuring I would maximize the amount I got back from my original, I went ahead and dropped my hard earned dollars to buy the biggest pod available. Also, to avoid the fate of the previous pod, I also purchased the Agent 18 Shield and the Power Support Crystal Film set. Overkill? Probably, but after dropping nearly $400 on The New Hotness I wanted it to last a little longer than its predecessor.

I am again a full fledged citizen of the iPod nation, once more commuting with the Cadillac of portable audio equipment. After giving up my pod for Lent, and then waiting another month to see if anything new was coming out for Apple’s anniversary, I am glad to be back among white headphone wearing hordes. Clare asked if I had any observations from my self imposed exile. After thinking about it I do have a few brief ones.

1. Everyone has an iPod. Not having mine made me realize how ubiquitous the little, white, mp3-that-could had become.
2. There are a lot of panhandlers in Chicago. I think all that time with headphones on (four years if you include the two previous mp3 players I had) had made me obvlivious to all but a fraction of the panhandlers in the Loop.
3. One in every 5 street musician has talent. I saw an oboeist (oboist? oboest? cantaloupe?) and a french horn player at the Washington Red Line stop, and they were good. There was also a saxophonist on Michigan and Randolph that was doing a decent Coltrane impersonation. Don't get me started on all the amped up singers and guitar players that made my commute hell the past few months, I don't even want to think about it.
4. Songs got stuck in my head a lot easier. I had nothing to cleanse the palate nor at times did I have the opportunity to hear a song to its completion. This explains why Rihanna's "S.O.S." got stuck in my head for about a week straight.
5. The protective bubble was intact. At first I thought I would feel somewhat naked due to no longer having my pod to shut the world out. Oddly enough, the fact that everyone else was using one meant that I was more of a bubble wrapped commuter. There were times though, where I was left out on an island with the occasional loud talker, whether it be via cell or live conversations. It was all I could do to not jump over other passengers and clamp someone's mouth shut.
   

Well, that's about it. The Crackpod is no more, all hail The New Hotness.

Team America: Week 5 Report

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

You’d think that after winning our first match I would have written about it much sooner, but alas I’m still having trouble breaking out of my Friday vball blogging habits. Not to say that I wasn’t excited by the win, it was the lone highlight of my day. After having my car think it was being stolen and refuse to start in a parking garage on Sunday, not being able to get it out of said garage till Monday morning, paying $200 to have the computer rebooted, not being able to sell/give-away Cubs tickets for Tuesday, and locking myself out of my apartment that night, it was by far the best part of the previous 2-3 days. Whew, sorry, enough with my bitching on to the recap.

Highlights from the night…

• Gail getting a ridiculous dig, to set-up a set right back at her, which she put down. The highlight for me was that I yelled, “Get up” during my set, while she was still landing from the dig. The lessons learned is this: “If you dig it, it will come (…right back at you, so get up and put this one down).”
• Matt getting a block up front. I know you said it was just off your fingers, but we count those as blocks on this team.
• Steve getting two digs in the back row. I honestly thought those were going down, but no, you got to them and they were pretty good passes to boot.
• Kristen and Sarah for setting all night. I know it can be a less glamorous job than hitter, and sometimes you get people on your back (literally…Matt, I’m looking at you) but you guys did a good job.
• Jim and Ali, for not yelling at each other this week. We really appreciate it when you guys keep any domestic violence marital spats out of the game.
• Bryan…well, there’s not a whole lot to say, but we miss you. At the very least you look very professional in your profile.

So by winning all three games last Tuesday we have pulled ourselves out of the gutter and stand at 4-11! Next up are Balls In, during another 10 pm game. Seriously, how do we keep getting screwed like that? On another note, these are the guys immediately ahead of us in the standings. We win 2 of 3 and we can move up another spot!

Team America: Week 4 Report

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Well, we certainly accomplished our goals for this week. We pushed fewer passes into the net. Ergo, they had fewer opportunities to force hits down our setters’ throats this week, we were able to set-up our offense, and we put down a few hits of our own. Secondly, we never got down on ourselves and we kept playing. This was certainly a noticeable improvement over last week, and our play reflected that.

Now, just because we achieved our goals doesn’t mean we came away with the match…or a win, but at least we’re making progress. So officially we are 1-11 but I think we could definitely be as high as 3-9. To date the standings are:

Spring 2006 Tuesday Drucker Upper Intermediate Volleyball
Team	W	L	%
Cardiac Arrest	10	2	83.33
Side Out	7	5	58.33
Parkway Bank Rules!	7	5	58.33
Six Pack	6	3	66.66
Hank Scorpio	6	6	50
It's All About the Shoes	5	4	55.55
Balls In	3	6	33.33
Set Shorty	3	6	33.33
Team America (F*ck Yeah!)	1	11	8.33

We have three weeks (plus a bye) to go and I think we can hit that illustrious 3-win mark before the playoffs hit. We'll be peaking at just the right time, as those other teams beat each other up with their "trying" and their "skill" and their "sobriety." Like my mom always said, you have to eat a lot more rice before you know as much as I do. What that has to do with volleyball I'm not sure, but I'm not one to question my mom.

Highlight of the night: Ali getting all fired up when the girls on the other team started talking shit. Let me break it down for everyone, the ball we played game one with was completely worn down. Seriously, this thing was smoother than the inflatable super bouncy balls you get at the supermarket. You know, the ones that you would throw around and bounce off of the walls but then get yelled at because you just knocked over the smoked sausage display and now the summer sausage is rolling under the other shelves, your mom is trying to pick up everything, and you're yelling because some pimple-faced kid just took your ball away from you. Not that that ever happened to me. I digress...in-between games one and two Ali politely requested that we switch balls and asked if the other team cared or not. The response from the girl in green was, "Well, if you think it will help." What a bitch. Not that I'm surprised, had the tables been turned I would probably be thinking the same thing, but alas they weren't and I'm calling her names now to make our team feel better. I will say, it was definitely one of those situations that we could have used our enforcer but he was elsewhere.

Goals for next week: I think our goals for next week should be 1) To continue the goals from last week, 2) Take more swings and 3) Put'em in a body bag!

The Jack Bauer Power Hour

Is it bad when you walk in to a co-worker's office and yell "TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW!" and then threaten them with electro-shock torture until they give up the memo you were looking for? Ok, perhaps a little bit, but that's what happens when you watch eight hours of Fox's 24 in less than a week.

If you haven't been watching this season's 24 you're missing out. This by far is the best season of the show. Let me run it down for you: Jack has been "off the grid" for over a year after the events of last season. He gets pulled back in after the four people that knew he was still alive are targeted by assassins. Shortly after he is reunited with his one true love, CTU in an effort to uncover a conspiracy, track down stolen Sentox nerve gas and the terrorists that plan on using them. In the meantime people learn a lot about themselves, some enemies become friends, some friends become enemies and Rudy makes an appearance.

It'’s hard to say why I like 24 as much as I do. Is it because Jack is a bad ass and I wish I could be like him? Perhaps. Is it because I'’m waiting for the day that Chloe and Edgar get together and make sweet, sweet geek love? Umm...definitely not. I'’d say my love of 24 breaks down something like this:

• Jack'’s nuclear powered PDAs. That thing never runs out of juice. Seriously, he's been making calls, getting e-mails, viewing streaming video, and uploading schematics all day long and I haven't seen it once in a docking cradle.
  
• Self destructing memory cards. Stupid Germans.
  
• The fact that everyone can be a suspect because the writers only script out six episodes at a time.
• Every time a terrorist/informant gets presidential immunity, Jack figures a way to get it rescinded and then goes to work on them. And by work I mean do their taxes. And by do their taxes I mean crush their testicles throat.
  
• This season'’s Spy vs. Spy between Jack and Robocop.
• Curtis. That'’s one BAMF.
• Chloe can find a schematic of any building in Los Angeles and berate three colleagues within 90 seconds.
  
• That President Palmer was Pedro Cerrano in another life.

Things that drive me crazy about this season of 24:

• Is it me, or do people recover from torture aggressive interrogation much too easily? Look at it this way, Henderson got pumped full of chems but was able to awaken, kill Tony, steal a car and rejoin his strike team. Audrey, also after a meeting with Burke, looks like she just left the spa with a make-over. Apparently the solution Burke is pumping into them is just sugar water and they'’re sweating because they know they'’re inching closer to type 2 diabetes. Either that or his breath smells like a diaper covered in Indian food.
  
• I'’ve been to LA numerous times, and have driven from one end of town to the another. It takes forever to go anywhere. How the hell does Jack, Curtis, and the terrorists get around so quickly? Is there a magical flying car that they use to get around SoCal and if so why aren't they showing it? Seriously, bump up the budget a little bit and let's see some Jetson action.
  
• If you were President, wouldn'’t you just stop coming to California? Seriously, everytime they'’re there, they killed, almost killed, or a national emergency drops out of the sky. I would avoid it at all costs.

So, that being said the season wouldn't be complete without at least one night playing the 24 drinking game. I can hear my liver already screaming that it's in a flank two position.