U of I Pictures

Welcomed Back with Open Arms

To thy happy children
of the future
Those of the past
send greetings

It was a homecoming of sorts this past weekend when a bunch of my old friends and I made the trek down to Chambana (Champaign + Urbana = Chambana, or Shampoo Banana if you like) for the Ohio State – Illinois match-up. Illinois went into the game 26 point underdogs. How did they finish? Sure, they lost, but only by seven points and they sacked the OSU quarterback a number of times. All in all, there’s hope for the future of Illinois football.

Suffice it to say, with that kind of match-up we weren’t exactly there to watch the football game. We hadn’t all been together in some time so we thought this would be as good a time as any to all hang out and reminisce of our glory days at Illinois. On top of that, I was able to take Clare around campus this time with me.

Things are pretty much the same on campus as when I was there. The Quad still looks the same, the Alma Mater (pictured above) is still in one piece, and the Morrow Plots are still next to the Undergrad. There were however, small details that seemed out of place. For instance, they now have a Chipotle, Noodles & Co., Potbelly, and Starbucks on campus. How, exactly, are college kids supposed to afford these things? I could barely afford La Bamba’s and a Murph burger while I was in school. Now they have actual eating establishments on campus? Ridiculous.

Other than that and a few small things, things really haven’t changed. Girls still forego coats in the middle of the winter on their way to the bar, guys are still drunk meatheads, and you can still see them all walk home at 9 o’clock the next morning. The Murphy’s mega bacon cheeseburger is still tops, although their fries can be a bit hit or miss at times. You can still get three t-shirts for the price of one at T.I.S. and beer is still cheap as hell down there.

Really the only thing missing was Preacher Dan on the Quad and everyone running after Thunder for his mandatory ass beatings. It was a good time and hopefully we’ll do it again, but with kids here and on the way, those trips may have to wait a little while. It was nice to go back to where so much had happened, that home away from home from so long ago. I really was a happy child of the past, and I have the memories and friends to prove it.

Prep Unit

You may have already seen this, but it's worth another look.

Hiro's a Ninja!

Well, since it’s my turn to update my blog I thought I would talk about my new favorite TV show, NBC’s Heroes. I can’t say enough about this show. It’s well written, suspenseful, about “superheroes,” and the special effects make it seem like a big budget movie every week. Add to that the diverse cast and good acting and it can’t be beat.

In case you haven’t been watching here’s a quick rundown: Ordinary people are discovering they have special powers that make them more than ordinary. Meanwhile in the background, forces are orchestrating events to advance their agendas while the fate of everyone in New York and possibly the world hangs in the balance. Whew! How can you not love that? (Have I mentioned that Ali Larter is an online porn star?)

Scripted TV is finally coming back in a big way. Other than Project Runway (which I gave a try since Clare so openly embraced football), I can’t watch reality television shows. Unfortunately that seemed to be the only thing on for a while. Now there’s this, Battlestar Galactice on Sci-Fi (which is another must see) and 24 comes back at the start of the year. I am soooo glad that I bought the new TV, because this season is going to be awesome.

Anyway, back to Heroes. I have to say that Hiro Nakamura is my favorite for the following reasons:

1. He’s Asian and you really don’t see that too much on network TV.
2. His part is well written.
3. His powers are awesome. Time manipulation and teleportation, how can it get any better?
4. The actor portraying him, Masi Oka, does so with the wide-eyed wonderment and idealism of a child. Not to mention he has degrees in mathematics and computer science, and works for George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic.
5. He becomes a ninja!
   

In the end, I’m glad we started watching this show at the out set. The last thing I wanted was a repeat of the Lost situation…everyone jumps on and says you have to watch because it’s soo good, but since you missed the first few episodes there’s a hard place to jump back in and you end up never doing so. Well, I don’t think that’ll happen with Heroes. It’s highly accessible, they show repeats on Sci-Fi and on their website, and they do a good job bringing you along in the writing.

If you haven’t already started watching, I highly recommend doing so.

p.s. – If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, it’s been here. The podcast is going pretty well. Our subscriptions keep increasing and now we’re starting to reach out to sponsors. I will warn you though, it’s not for the faint of heart. After a few beers my friends can get a teensy bit foul mouthed.

Return of the Super Blog

Ok so it’s been a while since I last updated my blog. That’s mostly been due to the fact that it’s summer in Chicago and while it lasts I spend as much time outside as possible. What about work you ask? Well, they’ve actually figured out a way to keep me busy for the past month or so, so in-office updating hasn’t been as frequent as I would have liked.

So, where do we go from here? Why don’t I just cover everything that’s happened since my last substantive post.

1) In late June I visited Dennison University for the first time. Clare was there for a Dennis Singers reunion and I went to cheer her on. After a dapper introduction to the group, we proceeded back to the dorm room for a rousing game of Yee Haw! and beer pong (which I must add, I am ridiculously good at). The concert was very good, although Clare thought that one of the other sopranos was loud and half a step flat. On top of everything, I got to meet some of Clare’s friends, namely Jack, Sarah, Jeff and Leslie (yay Leslie!).

Leslie was nice enough to put us up for a night at her place so that we could all hang out. She’s just as snarky in person as she is in her blog, even more so once Clare and her got together. She did an excellent job entertaining and playing host and since I didn’t say it before I’ll say it now, thanks Leslie!

2) Fourth of July weekend was pretty ridiculous. Saturday was spent at the grassy knoll, having a few beverages and laying out. After a few hours and entirely too much alcohol sun we brought it in and hung out at Clare’s place. After an interesting dinner at the Melrose, I proceeded to lose my fastball in a spectacular way.

Sunday was spent out in the burbs attending Abigail Laurel Robinson’s baptism. Let me tell you, she is one pretty and well-behaved baby, so congratulations on that to Laurel and Jared.

On the third (Chicago’s traditional night to celebrate the nation’s birthday), we were able to head out to the Columbia yacht club and take in a good buffet and the city’s fireworks extravaganza. We all ended up with yacht club names, mine was Chaz and Clare’s was Buffy.

On the fourth we ended up back out at the grassy knoll for more laying out and that was that.

3) On July 8th, Clare and I caught Too White Crew at the Wrigleyville Summer block party. This cover band defies explanation, if only because its entire repertoire consisted of old school hip-hop. This deserves an entry of its own, so I’m leaving it at that.

4) The weekend of the 15th I head back out to the burbs and caught up with my old roommate Chris and his wife Cindy. They moved out to Indianapolis about a year ago now and have bought a house out in Fischer. Also, Chris and Cindy are expecting their first child early next year. With any luck he’ll have a girl and when she’s ready she can start dating guys just like her dad.

5) The big trip to Florida. This deserves its own entry, so let me just say right now that I had a great time and would definitely go back again, if only for the chance at a rematch between me and David versus Clare and Sharon at hand and foot.

6) I bought a new phone last weekend. So bye-bye Sprint, hello Verizon.

For those of you asking, “Where are all the pictures?” Well, those will be up at a later time. I’m working on a little something special for you guys, so just hold tight.

So to recap, July – very busy, but very fun.

(Blog updated, are you happy now Melissa?)

The Chaz

More to come.

The 45 minute drive for everything…or why I’ll never live in California

My family and I were in California this weekend to celebrate my grandmother’s 86th birthday. We try to make the trip every year recently, and spending time with our extended families is always a welcome diversion from the day-to-day grind. Every time that I’m out there someone, either a an aunt, uncle or cousin, inevitably asks me when I’m moving out there. Invariably, I give the same answer, “We’ll see.” In all honesty, the answer should be, “Once L.A. becomes more of a pedestrian city, I’ll consider it. Until then, there’s no way I’m putting up with that much traffic.”

As an example, here are the things that my cousin Mark and I did from the time he picked me up at LAX to the time he dropped me off at my aunt’s house Sunday afternoon.

1) LAX to his house.
2) Lunch at Shaka’s, a pretty good Hawaiian cuisine restaurant.
3) The mall to pick up gifts for my God children.
4) Met up with his girlfriend while she had lunch with friends.
5) Hung out at her house.
6) Went to my aunt’s house.
7) Went to In-n-Out
8) Hung out at the Spectrum boardwalk in Irvine.
9) Back to Mark’s.
10) The next morning we went to REI.
11) Then to Sports Chalet
12) Back to Mark’s.
13) My grandmother’s party
14) My other aunt’s house.
15) The movie theatre.
16) Back to Mark’s.
17) Church on Sunday morning.
18) My other aunt’s house.

Now keep a few things in mind. First, everywhere we went was either in L.A. or Orange counties. Second, this was over the course of a day and a half. Last, the cheapest gas price I saw (for premium) was $3.47 a gallon. Now take a guess at how many miles we logged and how long we were in the car.

Milage: a) 80-149 miles, b) 150-249 miles, c) 250-450 miles
Hours in the car: a) 2-4 hours, b) 5-8 hours, c) 9-12 hours

Have you guessed yet? No, ok I’ll wait.

….

….

We topped out at just over 380 miles in almost 12 hours in the car. Look at that list and tell me you couldn’t get most of that done in Chicago in a quarter the milage and half the time. On top of that, Mark gassed up twice while I was there and spent nearly $50 each time. That is the main reason why I could never live in California. I would go nuts spending that much time in any car let alone my own.

Everything in Southern California is built around the car culture. There’s a mediocre, at best, attempt at mass transit in what’s the second largest city in the nation. I think they have all of two rail lines. Everyone drives, the interstates are massive, and I think I have black lung now due to the smog.

Mark was telling me that one of the interstates we were on is being expanded. I looked out, it was already six lanes in each direction (five for regular traffic, and one for the carpoolers.) Honestly, what’s going to happen to Cali if an oil shortage hits? It’s not like they can just switch over to bikes or rely on rail lines.

One thing I have to admire though is the encyclopedic knowledge everyone there seems to have for locations. You could ask someone there where to go for sushi and they’d be able to name four to five new places all over L.A. and Orange counties, all of which are, you guessed it, 45 minutes away. This would be like me telling you that the new Chipotle in Kane county is a way better set up than the one in Will. It honestly, boggles my mind.

Another redeeming factor for California is the fact that they have In-n-Out there. Simply awesome. I can not stress this enough. If I ever ended up living there I would definitely gain 10 lbs. immediately because I'd probably be getting Double-doubles and milk shakes all the time. Don't even get me started on the fact that they have Chic-fil-A there either.

But this brings me back to my original point. Getting to any of these things usually took at least 30 minutes, usually closer to 45, to get to. After spending my 28 years in Illinois, and the last six in Chicago I don't think I could ever drive more than 15 minutes to get anywhere. Unless of course you're talking about the Chipotle over in Dekalb, because that's a good one.

Flying High

The following two posts were written while traveling somewhat comfortably from Chicago to L.A. for my Grandmother's birthday.

Mobile birth control…Or why I hate to fly Southwest

Now don’t get me wrong, Southwest definitely has some things going for it. It’s inexpensive, they’re on time, and their flight crews are some of the friendliest and funniest in the industry. What I hate about Southwest is the fact that they’ve turned into the Greyhound of the skies. Almost anyone can get a Southwest ticket, and that includes families with little children.

(Now before I get too far into my rant I’ll be honest, when I finally have a family I’ll probably end up taking Southwest and render myself a complete hypocrite in the process.)

A fun little game that we’ve come up with is trying to figure out which kid will be the biggest pain in the ass on the flight. Originally my strategy was to find the loudest most misbehaved kids in the terminal and pick them as my horse. It turns out that it’s a little more complicated than that. Now my strategy is to identify all the kids boarding my flight. Once I have them marked observe if they’re already misbehaving or if they’re sleeping. It’s the sleepers that I’ve learned to watch out for, if only for the fact that they’ll have a ton of energy and be fidgety for the entire flight. Next, figure out how weary their parents are. Full of energy? Great, they’ll put up a fight and hopefully keep their kid under wraps. Tired with a look of defeat in their eyes? Well, that kind of explains itself doesn’t it? The selection process is definitely a work in progress, but it’s definitely better.

As I’m writing this I’m trying to figure out if there’s some way I can turn this into a gambling pool. How would you measure who won? Is it a most passengers annoyed kind of thing? Or do you go with decibels? Perhaps it could be pure duration for a tantrum. Elias would have a field day with this. Little Johnny Smith has a annoyance percentage of 52% in Boeing 737 during coast-to-coast flights this season when sitting next to his father in a window seat. Can you imagine if ESPN covered something like this? Sue Wiggins put on a Herculean show of endurance today, outlasting the Juarez child with a tantrum of one hour and 30 minutes, managing to connect on 35 of 40 passengers within earshot.

Seriously, this could work. You set up the pool at the gate before everyone boards, odds makers would scout the kids out prior to and everyone would make their picks as they handed in their boarding passes. You’d have parents refusing to tend to their kids just to squeeze out a few extra seconds. They’d start bringing multiple kids on board just for the assists. You'd have travelers checking out the departure boards like they were at an OTB. If the airline ran it their cut would provide an additional revenue stream. Seriously, this has to happen. I might even consider flying Southwest again if it did.

On turning 28…or how Optimus Prime made me grow up

Champaign is 150 miles and six years away from my life in Chicago. The drive down I-57 was always a long and uneventful one (unless you count the time the Civic’s engine blew-up, but that’s a story for another time). The road from 20 to 28 however has been full of the usual twists and turns one expects during this time of life. Some of your friends are still in school, are already married, or are parents. There are the successful, the less so, and the ones in between. Out of the shielded reality of school we stand on our own making our way through the world.

Three recent events have encouraged me to turn a retrospective eye on the past decade. First is the fact that I turned 28 last month. Second, I received the save the date for my 10-year high school reunion. Last, I just found out that they are about to release a Transformers: The Movie 20th Anniversary edition. The first two are understandablely vexing, but surprisingly enough (or not surprisingly if you know me) it was the last that really got me freaking out.

At 28, a ten year high school reunion is pretty much your sign that you are no longer a child. Seriously, this is the stuff that Thursday night sitcom plots revolve around. Guy goes to reunion to confront his high school nemesis and hilarity ensues. Girl goes to show off how thin and hot she has become, while her school-age tormentors have turned into fat cows, and don’t forget hilarity ensues. I guess my point is, the ten year reunion was something mythological existing out in the ether. “No, I’m too young to worry about that.” “Wasn’t the five year reunion just a little while ago?” Well, now it’s here and there’s no avoiding it.

I suppose freaking out is too strong a word, but honestly how could it already be 20 years since Megatron, defeated in the battle to end all battles, delivered a cheapshot fatal blow to Optimus Prime. I hated Hot Rod for distracting Optimus long enough for Megatron to deliver that blow but I forgave him for two reasons. First, he discovered that the Decepticons had commandeered the ship flying into the Autobot base and second he did, after all, redeem himself in the end by opening the Autobot matrix of leadership, becoming Rodimus Prime and defeating Unicron at the end. (To answer that question that's floating in your mind, yes, you should be scared that I wrote about that, and doubly so because I'm currently on a plane flying to California, so it was from memory.)

I suppose the fact that I was able to remember all of that stands as testament to the importance that particular movie held to my childhood. I can remember going to the movie theater and being close to tears when Optimus dies and being near hysterical when Hot Rod turned into Rodimus. Is it really so long ago that we went to the video store to rent the movie for my ninth birthday, on Beta no less? The fact that next year I could buy the movie a drink (you know, if it was human) has started to put my age into a different perspective.

Gone are the days where the future is some destination down the road, one that I’ll reach when I’m brought to it. As it turns out, I’m here, so what am I waiting for? As it turns out, I’m not waiting for much. Compared to some my life is very good, to others I haven’t done (or accumulated) enough, but to me it feels right. I work hard to find a balance between being happy with what I’ve accomplished and what there is left to be done. I have a loving family, a beautiful girlfriend, friends that I trust, a good job and a growing faith. Other than that 20th anniversary dvd, what more could I need to face the road ahead?

The Jennifers...or When Birds Attack

So this was the weekend of Jennifers, as it was my sister's birthday and Clare's sister's visit to Chicago.

My Jennifer, or Jenny, JBean, or Chuck as she's know by her friends celebrated her birthday by paying a whole lot of money to go to a salon and get her hair done. Granted it did look nice and the highlights were good especially in light of what they look like on most Asians, but for the amount that she paid I could have bought a few rounds of golf, an iPod or Liza Minelli for a day. Seriously though, I suppose my perspective is skewed since I usually don't spend more than $20 on a haircut. Granted, I'll probably go 5-6 times more in a given year than she will but still. Anyway, we went out for dinner as a family Saturday night and that was nice. We ended up at Domo 77, a local hibachi restaurant. If you've never been, I highly recommend it. Our chef was great and successfully executed the onion volcano. All in all a good time.

Earlier in the day I was able to spend time with Clare and her sister Jennifer (did I mention it was the weekend of Jennifers?) downtown. As Jennifer mentioned in the Ezell blog, the food was great but the beignets were ridiculously good. I had the Max burger, which is a 1/2 pound of ground beef, rib tips, bacon, mushrooms, barbecue sauce and cheddar cheese. Did I finish it? Of course, but I've felt lighter.

After lunch we decided to kill time before their movie and took a walk around Millennium Park. The jewel of the Chicago Park District, Millennium park was officially opened in the summer of 2004. It has outdoor art in the Bean, or Cloud Gate as it is officially known, and the water faces fountain/sculpture. It also has a Frank Gery designed amphitheatre which we took a walk around. Next to the theatre are the gardens. They have a recreated prairie landscape, wading pool/river, and an evergreen "forest." This is the point in the story where we get into trouble. As we were walking past some of the evergreens a kamikaze finch comes out of nowhere and pegs me right in the back of the head. This was a traumatizing experience, and in case you can't picture it I'll provide a vivid reenactment. Suffice it to say Jennifer and Clare thought this was hilarious, but at least they stopped laughing long enough to see how I was doing. Obviously, from the post incident picture above, I am ok.

So to summarize...Jennifer T - good birthday, great highlights. Jennifer E. - good visit, great food. As for the finch, well let's just say that I'm hanging around Millennium Park with a sling shot during my lunch hours.

May 2006

After a prolonged absence I’m back. I was going to write another uber-blog but decided that it was taking too long to get around to doing that. Instead let’s just recount all that May 2006 had to offer in convenient list form. Now from the top, with feeling…

• The New Hotness. If you haven’t already read my entry I was poetic about the fallen Crackpod and my New Hotness.
• The birthday. I’m getting old. Ok maybe not that old, but when Transformers the movie is celebrating its twentieth anniversary, you know you’re not a young man any more.
• Days off. I had to use seven days of vacation in May or I would lose them. What did I do with all of those days? See the next point.
• Video games. May’s weather was craptacular so I ended up spending a bunch of my time playing Civ 3 (yes, I know Civ 4 is out, but when C3 plus the two expansion packs are selling for $20 how could I pass it up?) and Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006. These are two of the most addictive games in history. In fact, they deserve an entry all their own.
• Mrs. Hutchinson Sharon came to town. After Clare spirited her around town, Sharon was nice enough to take us out to Fogo for dinner. Thanks!
• The Grand Prix is no more. After seven of the most expensive months in my automotive history I sold my car. It was the first car that I bought and I wish I could have held on to it, but after the window got busted in (after everything else that happened) it was the final straw. At least I got a good price from Carmax.
• The stomach flu. When you can’t keep saltines and Pepto Bismol down you know it’s going to be a bad few days.
• Mother’s Day. Hope you enjoy those Wicked tickets Mom!
• The end of 24. You know, I’d like to see just one regular day in Jack’s life. Something like, he goes to Starbucks, checks his e-mail, mows the lawn. Something like that, only because you know he’d end up killing at least 12 people through the course of it.
• Memorial Day weekend. My liver is still recovering, but at least we were able to take the cornhole bean bag set out on its maiden voyage.
• Team America. We lost our last match to a bunch of wanks and then we got bounced in the first round of the play-offs. Here’s to another great season!

That’s pretty much it for May. I wish I would have written more through the month, but this will have to suffice. Entries should be coming a little more regularly though, as we document Clare’s first summer in Chicago.

Team America: Week 6 Report

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Another week and another character building experience. On the bright side, at least Jim and Ali didn't fight on court...they left that to the other couple. Thankfully all was patched up prior to the end of the night.

Now, even though we lost the match three games to none there were highlights. So allow me to break these down by player:

Jim - I'm just going to call you wall crawler from now on. Back to back scrambling plays on the wall, one where you pulled a Jackie Chan and jumped off it? Love it.

Ali - Holy crap, have your floor burns healed yet? Thank God you threw your self all over the place to pick up digs, because I know I wasn't going to get to them.

Stroh - Where the hell did that hitting display come from? And a good back row set to the strong side hitter?

Steve - Ok, so I know you're disappointed you didn't convert more of the sets that came your way, but you did put some impressive ones down.

Sarah, Kristen, and me - Good job setting guys. The decisions to put the ball over on two instead of the set were almost all good ones. You also did a good job adjusting to the guy in the grey shirt dinking balls over on two.

Matt and Gail - Where the hell are you?

That being said, we have a bye week this week and we're back in action for the last week of the regular season next Tuesday. Our opponents, Hank Scorpio, sit at 8-10 one spot directly in front of us. The bad thing is, even by taking all three games we can't move up in the rankings. The good thing is, even if we lose all three games we probably won't move down in the rankings because Set Shorty is more than likely to lose their set as well.

The New Hotness

First off, yes I know, I usually would have a Team America update here to cover the last game, but I couldn’t in good conscience have three straight volleyball entries. So, if you’re one of my loyal readers, and are jonesing for some vball, I’ll have that post up tomorrow.

On a more pleasant note, I would like to introduce the newest member of the family, my brand new 60 GB black iPod, henceforth to be known as “The New Hotness.” This is to distinguish it from the “Old and busted” Crackpod. You can read more of its bustedness, but long story short it had a dent in the back, the harddrive wouldn’t spin, and that’s not covered by the warranty.

Fortunately, Apple does run what it calls an “iPod recycling program” that gives you 10% off the purchase of a new iPod when you recycle an old iPod, iPod mini or an iPod nano. So, figuring I would maximize the amount I got back from my original, I went ahead and dropped my hard earned dollars to buy the biggest pod available. Also, to avoid the fate of the previous pod, I also purchased the Agent 18 Shield and the Power Support Crystal Film set. Overkill? Probably, but after dropping nearly $400 on The New Hotness I wanted it to last a little longer than its predecessor.

I am again a full fledged citizen of the iPod nation, once more commuting with the Cadillac of portable audio equipment. After giving up my pod for Lent, and then waiting another month to see if anything new was coming out for Apple’s anniversary, I am glad to be back among white headphone wearing hordes. Clare asked if I had any observations from my self imposed exile. After thinking about it I do have a few brief ones.

1. Everyone has an iPod. Not having mine made me realize how ubiquitous the little, white, mp3-that-could had become.
2. There are a lot of panhandlers in Chicago. I think all that time with headphones on (four years if you include the two previous mp3 players I had) had made me obvlivious to all but a fraction of the panhandlers in the Loop.
3. One in every 5 street musician has talent. I saw an oboeist (oboist? oboest? cantaloupe?) and a french horn player at the Washington Red Line stop, and they were good. There was also a saxophonist on Michigan and Randolph that was doing a decent Coltrane impersonation. Don't get me started on all the amped up singers and guitar players that made my commute hell the past few months, I don't even want to think about it.
4. Songs got stuck in my head a lot easier. I had nothing to cleanse the palate nor at times did I have the opportunity to hear a song to its completion. This explains why Rihanna's "S.O.S." got stuck in my head for about a week straight.
5. The protective bubble was intact. At first I thought I would feel somewhat naked due to no longer having my pod to shut the world out. Oddly enough, the fact that everyone else was using one meant that I was more of a bubble wrapped commuter. There were times though, where I was left out on an island with the occasional loud talker, whether it be via cell or live conversations. It was all I could do to not jump over other passengers and clamp someone's mouth shut.
   

Well, that's about it. The Crackpod is no more, all hail The New Hotness.

Team America: Week 5 Report

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

You’d think that after winning our first match I would have written about it much sooner, but alas I’m still having trouble breaking out of my Friday vball blogging habits. Not to say that I wasn’t excited by the win, it was the lone highlight of my day. After having my car think it was being stolen and refuse to start in a parking garage on Sunday, not being able to get it out of said garage till Monday morning, paying $200 to have the computer rebooted, not being able to sell/give-away Cubs tickets for Tuesday, and locking myself out of my apartment that night, it was by far the best part of the previous 2-3 days. Whew, sorry, enough with my bitching on to the recap.

Highlights from the night…

• Gail getting a ridiculous dig, to set-up a set right back at her, which she put down. The highlight for me was that I yelled, “Get up” during my set, while she was still landing from the dig. The lessons learned is this: “If you dig it, it will come (…right back at you, so get up and put this one down).”
• Matt getting a block up front. I know you said it was just off your fingers, but we count those as blocks on this team.
• Steve getting two digs in the back row. I honestly thought those were going down, but no, you got to them and they were pretty good passes to boot.
• Kristen and Sarah for setting all night. I know it can be a less glamorous job than hitter, and sometimes you get people on your back (literally…Matt, I’m looking at you) but you guys did a good job.
• Jim and Ali, for not yelling at each other this week. We really appreciate it when you guys keep any domestic violence marital spats out of the game.
• Bryan…well, there’s not a whole lot to say, but we miss you. At the very least you look very professional in your profile.

So by winning all three games last Tuesday we have pulled ourselves out of the gutter and stand at 4-11! Next up are Balls In, during another 10 pm game. Seriously, how do we keep getting screwed like that? On another note, these are the guys immediately ahead of us in the standings. We win 2 of 3 and we can move up another spot!

Team America: Week 4 Report

Team America plays in the upper intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Well, we certainly accomplished our goals for this week. We pushed fewer passes into the net. Ergo, they had fewer opportunities to force hits down our setters’ throats this week, we were able to set-up our offense, and we put down a few hits of our own. Secondly, we never got down on ourselves and we kept playing. This was certainly a noticeable improvement over last week, and our play reflected that.

Now, just because we achieved our goals doesn’t mean we came away with the match…or a win, but at least we’re making progress. So officially we are 1-11 but I think we could definitely be as high as 3-9. To date the standings are:

Spring 2006 Tuesday Drucker Upper Intermediate Volleyball
Team	W	L	%
Cardiac Arrest	10	2	83.33
Side Out	7	5	58.33
Parkway Bank Rules!	7	5	58.33
Six Pack	6	3	66.66
Hank Scorpio	6	6	50
It's All About the Shoes	5	4	55.55
Balls In	3	6	33.33
Set Shorty	3	6	33.33
Team America (F*ck Yeah!)	1	11	8.33

We have three weeks (plus a bye) to go and I think we can hit that illustrious 3-win mark before the playoffs hit. We'll be peaking at just the right time, as those other teams beat each other up with their "trying" and their "skill" and their "sobriety." Like my mom always said, you have to eat a lot more rice before you know as much as I do. What that has to do with volleyball I'm not sure, but I'm not one to question my mom.

Highlight of the night: Ali getting all fired up when the girls on the other team started talking shit. Let me break it down for everyone, the ball we played game one with was completely worn down. Seriously, this thing was smoother than the inflatable super bouncy balls you get at the supermarket. You know, the ones that you would throw around and bounce off of the walls but then get yelled at because you just knocked over the smoked sausage display and now the summer sausage is rolling under the other shelves, your mom is trying to pick up everything, and you're yelling because some pimple-faced kid just took your ball away from you. Not that that ever happened to me. I digress...in-between games one and two Ali politely requested that we switch balls and asked if the other team cared or not. The response from the girl in green was, "Well, if you think it will help." What a bitch. Not that I'm surprised, had the tables been turned I would probably be thinking the same thing, but alas they weren't and I'm calling her names now to make our team feel better. I will say, it was definitely one of those situations that we could have used our enforcer but he was elsewhere.

Goals for next week: I think our goals for next week should be 1) To continue the goals from last week, 2) Take more swings and 3) Put'em in a body bag!

The Jack Bauer Power Hour

Is it bad when you walk in to a co-worker's office and yell "TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW!" and then threaten them with electro-shock torture until they give up the memo you were looking for? Ok, perhaps a little bit, but that's what happens when you watch eight hours of Fox's 24 in less than a week.

If you haven't been watching this season's 24 you're missing out. This by far is the best season of the show. Let me run it down for you: Jack has been "off the grid" for over a year after the events of last season. He gets pulled back in after the four people that knew he was still alive are targeted by assassins. Shortly after he is reunited with his one true love, CTU in an effort to uncover a conspiracy, track down stolen Sentox nerve gas and the terrorists that plan on using them. In the meantime people learn a lot about themselves, some enemies become friends, some friends become enemies and Rudy makes an appearance.

It'’s hard to say why I like 24 as much as I do. Is it because Jack is a bad ass and I wish I could be like him? Perhaps. Is it because I'’m waiting for the day that Chloe and Edgar get together and make sweet, sweet geek love? Umm...definitely not. I'’d say my love of 24 breaks down something like this:

• Jack'’s nuclear powered PDAs. That thing never runs out of juice. Seriously, he's been making calls, getting e-mails, viewing streaming video, and uploading schematics all day long and I haven't seen it once in a docking cradle.
  
• Self destructing memory cards. Stupid Germans.
  
• The fact that everyone can be a suspect because the writers only script out six episodes at a time.
• Every time a terrorist/informant gets presidential immunity, Jack figures a way to get it rescinded and then goes to work on them. And by work I mean do their taxes. And by do their taxes I mean crush their testicles throat.
  
• This season'’s Spy vs. Spy between Jack and Robocop.
• Curtis. That'’s one BAMF.
• Chloe can find a schematic of any building in Los Angeles and berate three colleagues within 90 seconds.
  
• That President Palmer was Pedro Cerrano in another life.

Things that drive me crazy about this season of 24:

• Is it me, or do people recover from torture aggressive interrogation much too easily? Look at it this way, Henderson got pumped full of chems but was able to awaken, kill Tony, steal a car and rejoin his strike team. Audrey, also after a meeting with Burke, looks like she just left the spa with a make-over. Apparently the solution Burke is pumping into them is just sugar water and they'’re sweating because they know they'’re inching closer to type 2 diabetes. Either that or his breath smells like a diaper covered in Indian food.
  
• I'’ve been to LA numerous times, and have driven from one end of town to the another. It takes forever to go anywhere. How the hell does Jack, Curtis, and the terrorists get around so quickly? Is there a magical flying car that they use to get around SoCal and if so why aren't they showing it? Seriously, bump up the budget a little bit and let's see some Jetson action.
  
• If you were President, wouldn'’t you just stop coming to California? Seriously, everytime they'’re there, they killed, almost killed, or a national emergency drops out of the sky. I would avoid it at all costs.

So, that being said the season wouldn't be complete without at least one night playing the 24 drinking game. I can hear my liver already screaming that it's in a flank two position.

Team America: Week 3 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Tuesday night.

Wow, judging by the way everyone scattered Tuesday night after the game, it couldn't have been a good one. And you know what? It wasn't. We got our asses handed to us in three straight games and we stunk up the joint.

Jim and I were talking yesterday and we both agree, we're freshmen again in the sense that these other teams have been here for a while, know how to play at this level as a team, and do so on a consistent basis. Obviously, this isn't something that comes as a shock to anyone. We knew this would be challenging at the very least.

So, where do we go from here? We have five weeks and four matches left. Aside from me putting on a skirt before the end of the season I'll make the following predictions:

• We will win at least two more games, and possibly as many as five.
• Ali will call Jim, Captain Dipshit at least once.
• Steve will mistakenly bring two bottles of MGD instead of water. Hilarity will ensue.
• Sean Preston will divorce his parents. Seriously, wouldn't you?
• I will actually put a good hit down on the other team.
• Eminem will finalize his divorce from Kim, only to remarry her and divorce again.
• Matt will continue to touch tall things.
• I will enroll at Northern Illinois University.
  

That being said, there are a few things we can work on between now and our end of season bar crawl.

1. First passes. We definitely need to get better first passes to our setters. We sent them into the net on serves and digs a few too many times.
2. Keeping spirits up. Last week we lost the first game, but because we were still loose and having a good time we were able to come back and win the second. This week we got down on ourselves, played tight, and lost. If I need to bring the grass skirt back I will.
   

Good passes and attitudes, that's pretty much it. I'll leave you with this thought though...

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Work Conferences

So I survived another ISMS House of Delegates Annual Meeting. I'm not going to bore people with the details (or get myself into trouble for talking about the companies here) so let me just say this. The HOD is a grueling test of endurance for all those concerned. How I've survived six of these things I'll never know.

Shamrock Shuffle

So I finished. After two and a half months of grueling training, I was able to complete the 2006 Shamrock Shuffle. Ok, so my training mostly consisted of me walking to the McDonald's for a McGriddle or back to the bar for another beer, but that still counts doesn't it? Seriously though, I ran three to maybe four times prior to the race. That's training enough for me!

So at 4.96 miles, the Shamrock Shuffle is 1.46 miles longer than the furthest I've ever run in race conditions. The previous record holder? The Chase Corporate Challenge, which is 3.5 miles. I've done that a few times and run in other 5k races as well. I wasn't sure how fast I was going to be, but as long as I finished in under an hour I thought I'd be ok. In the end I finished in 53:14, six and three quarter minutes faster than my goal. Clare smoked me, coming in at 48:08.

10 minutes after the start we were finally walking up to the starting line (seriously, there were 25,000 people registered for this race, you didn't think we'd be up front did you?). I began to wonder, "how fast I could actually run this?" If completed in 42 minutes or less, you become eligible for the preferred start, which puts you ahead of the massive crowds. At that moment I wanted to come in at 41 minutes. Three steps into my run I wanted to go home.

That being said, I didn't stop other than at the water/gatorade stations, and that was just because it was littered with wet paper cups. Running down the middle of State Street without getting run over by a car or bus was pretty surreal. I'd say it was like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky, but there were a few hundred people around me and I'm not a crazy Scientologist.

Next up is the Corporate Challenge, where I hope to finish in 30 or fewer minutes. Let the training begin.

Team America: Week 2 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

I’d like to lead-off with the fact that Sarah was perfect. On top of that, Ali hit through double blocks all night. And now that we’re done talking about Jim & Stroh’s swinger party last night, on to volleyball…

Improvement is the word of the week. We won our first game in the new league last Tuesday. Unfortunately that was the only game that we won, so we still ended up losing the match. I suppose that makes improvement a relative term, like health and Cubs pitchers, or sobriety and Whitney Houston.

To be honest, I never really felt like I had my head in the game. I suppose it could have been the early seven o’clock start, but more likely it was the fact that I got held up at work till 6:30. That obviously explains why I shanked multiple swings and a set during the game. Luckily everyone else stepped up and was able to put us in a position to win.

Sarah did a great job bringing us back in the second game, rattling off half a dozen points or more to get us the lead. Ali also did hit through double blocks, which is more than I can say for Steve, since every time I set him he ended up hitting into a single block. That of course is better than me, but let’s be honest, the net is just like one really big, wide blocker right?

Anyway, after discussions after the game, it seems as though a consensus has emerged.

1) We need to react faster

2) We need to be more selfish when it comes to the ball.

Hopefully playing on Sunday mornings now and again will help that. I definitely agree with the rest of the team, we’ll only get better as the league goes on.

Now I leave you with this though:

Pi is not infinite. It stops when Chuck Norris tells it to.

182 Days and Counting

A lot has happened in the past 182 days. Holidays, parties, birthdays and more than enough work days have passed in the past six months. I watched the Sox with a World Series, the Bears make it to the play-offs, and Illinois basketball come up a little short. My sister started working for a living and "Santa" finally gave my parents the bigger gift (seriously, how can anyone watch a 55" big screen without surround sound?).

Through it all, Clare hasn't gotten sick of me. Not of my shenanigans, hullabaloo, or other random quirkiness, alcohol fueled or otherwise. I'm not really one to celebrate the passing of time in anything less than a year, but after being single for the past six years there's something nice about celebrating six months.

So, happy sixmonth-iversary baby!

Team America: Week 1 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

It was a dubious start for Team America in the Upper Intermediate league. We were without Kristen, Sarah and Steve, three out four of our setters. On top of that we played a team that has been together for a long time. That being said I had more fun losing three games in this league than in winning 17* games in the last league.

To say we had problems on the court is like saying the Cubs have health issues on the mound. Ok, perhaps that's a little harsh, but I can say that since I'm a Cubs fan. Our service return was better than it has been although those passes sometime ended up being errant. There were more than a few good digs, unless the hit came from their big hitter in which case I think we got one, maybe two, digs and one block. Not to toot my own horn, since I only got one block on about 50 attempts, but that was AWESOME. I can't remember the last time I got a block on someone that good.

There were a few lapses though. I know I definitely did this, and I saw it a couple other times, but we need to help the blockers out when they get tipped over or around. I know I got caught flat-footed a couple of times in the back row and should have come up to help. Aside from that, if we can find a little more offense I think we're going to do alright in this league. You know, besides that monster hit Stroh put down in the second game.

Oh and before I forget, I found this wicked clip of a vball match. I was looking for examples of good swings and well...take a look.

*Thanks to Jim for clarifying our win total from last season. 14-7 regular season, 3-3 post.

Go-go Gadget Blog!

After a lengthy delay I am back to my old blogging ways. A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks so let’s try to recap it now. Is this going to be a long one? Yup. Are you going to sit there and read it all? You better. Just in case I added a little something extra at the bottom.

FIRST UP: St. Patty’s Day Weekend (Sort of)

I admit, our St. Patty’s day celebration was held the weekend before the actual date. This is because Chicago’s parades (the Downtown and the Southside) are scheduled for the Saturday or Sunday, on or before March 17. So basically, this year’s calendar gave us opportunity to celebrate that most emerald of saints twice. Am I Irish? No. Am I Catholic? No. Do I wear women’s underware? I prefer not to answer that question. Regardless, this is my favorite non-Hallmark holiday to celebrate because it’s basically one big excuse to drink.

Clare did a really good job recapping events, but, while definitely putting up a good showing, she didn’t make it through to the end of the night. Personally I’m still trying to recap everywhere we went to:

• Merkle’s
• Lucky’s
• Red Ivy
• Sluggers
• Bar Louie
• Gold Crown Liquor
• Piro’s Casa de Red Bull (this is where Clare tapped out)
• A house party God knows where
• Ta’Too
• And finally home.

I'd have to say the highlight of the night would have to be Dave forgetting his credit card over at Sluggers. Highest of high comedies, only because he seems to do it everytime he goes out (see below).

Coming in a close second would be my brand new socks blowing out. Seriously, I thought the Gap brand would be better than that. I should I know, I'm a Gap alum. I'm halfway through my second wearing and all of a sudden I feel a bit of a draft in the right show. Turns out the seam completely blew out. I knew I should have gone to Abercrombie.

I’d post more pictures but most of them are password protected for the sake of our careers. I will however share these before and after shots.

Clare and I (before)

Clare and I (after)

Me (after after...mostly just after shotgunning a couple of beers)

Good times.

SECOND UP: Team America: Play-offs Week 2 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

In a rematch of our Week 5 opponent Team America put up a valiant effort but came up short, losing 2-1 against Come From Behind. I’m not sure what to say about this loss. Ordinarily I’d have gone Bobby Knight after a loss, or at least a smoldering Gene Keady, but that didn’t happen this time. While there were obvious flaws in our game, we played our best ball when it counted, but we came up short. Seriously, the scores were 15-13, 10-15, 15-13. You don’t get any closer than that and not win.

Hopefully, our rising to the level of our opponent will carry over to the next league. Starting March 28, Team America moves up to the Upper-Intermediate league. It should be pretty exciting and it all begins tomorrow!

THIRD UP: March Madness

Ok we are well on our way to a new national champion but I thought I would recap the events of the first weekend. As is our custom, Steve and I took the first day of the tournament off and headed to Durkin's at 11 o'clock, in time for the first set of games. To our dismay the special of the day had been switched from domestic drafts to Bud Light only. This presented a problem since I have a hard time with Bud Light. Not only does it give me a wicked hangover, but it isn't that good going down either.

Still, Steve and I powered through and managed to consume more than our $25 share of Bud light, Domino's pizza and wings. All that in only five and a half hours, not too bad. Afterwards we made our way to Joe's where I'm sure we pissed off our waitress because we only ordered Diet Coke's and a basket of french fries. Honestly, I didn't even feel like drinking anything anymore because my bladder was so fatigued. We sat there, watched the first half of the Illinois game and then headed off to our volleyball final. All in all, not a bad first day. I even won most of my picks that day too. Which leads us to...

The second day, this is when things went down hill. Garrett's college fraternity brothers were in town for a bachelor party and I ended up tagging along with them. We started out at Durkin's again and this time the Bud Light went down a lot easier, mostly because I was more concerned with getting my money's worth on the shortened St. Patty's day schedule at the bar. $25 all you can drink 9am to 1pm. I didn't get there till 10:30, so I had to catch up. After that it was bar hopping all over the northside, when we finally ended up at Red Ivy at 6 p.m. where Clare met up with Dave and I. The rest of the crew decided they were going over to Barleycorn for food, but we stayed to 1) meet up with Clare and 2) go back to a previous bar so Dave could pick up his credit card that he forgot (see, I told you he does it all the time).

That night I ended up in bed and asleep by 9:30, well before I could realize that Kansas lost their game and I had just lost the national champion in my bracket. So basically, this marks the second year where I was effectively eliminated from competition in the pool that I was running. Good times.

The rest of the weekend was a blur, but mostly it was just watching A LOT of basketball. Thank God Clare likes basketball otherwise this may not have gone over as well.

Fourth Up: The Hidden Gem

This is a clip of Chuck Norris reading Chuck Norris facts. "This is my thesis!" (extra points to anyone that can name the movie the quote came from)

St. Patty's Day (sort of) Pub Crawl

If anyone is looking for us this weekend we'll be on the fourth annual St. Patrick's Day pub crawl.

***Please note, this was a suggested pub crawl schedule. We will definitely be deviating from this list. For current location call Joel, Clare, Garrett, Jen, Jon, Melissa, Dave, Peter, Paul and/or Mary for an update.***

Saturday - March 11, 2006

Locations & Times

The Irish Oak 3511 N. Clark St. 10:00-11:00

The Blarney Stone 3424 N. Sheffield 11:00-11:45

Johnny O'Hagan's 3374 N. Clark 11:45-12:45

Vaughn's 2917 N. Sheffield 12:45-1:45

Harrigan's 2816 N. Halsted 1:45-2:35

Griffin's Public House 2710 N. Halsted 2:35-3:25

Burwood Tap 724 W. Wrightwood 3:25-4:15

John Barleycorn 658 W. Belden 4:15-5:15

Halligan Bar 2274 N. Lincoln 5:15-6:00

Four Farthings 2060 N. Cleveland 6:00-7:00

River Shannon 425 W. Armitage 7:00-???

All dates, times and locations are subject to change. Local, state and federal taxes apply.

Team America: Play-offs Week 1 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

First things first, yes I wore a skirt and whitey tighties to last night's game. Personally I think I look hot, but that's just me. It may have actually benefitted us, as it probably distracted the other team on a few plays as they wondered what the heck was going on.

I thought we played a very strong game all around last night. The vast majority of our serves were playable. Granted, I did have at least one that went into the net, but not bad overall. Our service receives and first passes were crisp which lead to good sets and some excellent hits. I was totally jacked to see Ali, Sarah and Jim hitting the way they were.

Last night's victory brings us to next week's challenge, the team that swept us 3-0 in the regular season. Come From Behind is a good team, that plays fundamentally sound ball. They're not going to do too much to hurt themselves, but they aren't explosive offensively either. The majority of their points came off of tape hits that trickled over the net, or dinks over blockers.

That being said, there are a few things to keep in mind:

1. The games in our first match were close. Our final scores were: 8-15, 12-15, 13-15.
2. We rallied from about 10 down in one of those games.
3. Their guys don't hit.

With that in mind, here are my keys to the game:

• Continue to make our serves. We did a great job of that last night.
• Be ready to adjust serve receive if we're getting eaten up. Serves to middle back came in at chest high against this team last time; we may need to adjust for a better first pass.
• Ball Hawking. CFB is a finesse team that dinks more than it spikes. They'll try to drop balls behind blocks or in-between players.

The way I look at it, if Steve and I are giving up our annual March Madness tradition we are going to win the whole, damn thing. Ask Jim, I always have leftover vacation days because there are only three days a year that I request: one day around New Year's Eve and the first two days of the Tournament. So if we have to drag anyone kicking and screaming into the finals we'll do it.

An interesting thought came to mind. We play three games in a match. If we win it all we'll have played three matches. I usually drink three pitchers after we win. The pack of whitey tighties that I bought has three pairs in it. Coincidence...I think not. Three is the magic number and I am the walrus.

ZZ Top

In the past two days I've seen leg warmers on a few women around town. Is this some sort of weird revival of horrid 80's fashion? Seriously, in one case we're talking about bright red leg warmers pulled up above the calf. Of course she had a denim jacket and big hair to match. To be honest, I'm a bit frightened by it all. I refuse to go back to wearing thin leather ties. Don't even get me started if I see women start wearing stirrup pants.

Any, this walk down amnesia lane prompted some strange musical cravings. Take for example today's odd choice, ZZ Top's Legs from the Eliminator album. I haven't heard this song since my cousin Grace used to baby sit me and would let me watch videos with her and her friends. You know, back when MTV actually showed videos? Along with Duran Duran's "Rio," "Legs" used to be one of my favorite videos growing up. I watched the video today and thought, "Dear God, what the hell was everyone smoking/snorting in the 80's?"

Actually what I was really thinking about were the following:

• I would never eat at the diner that opens and closes the video. Seriously, the board of health would have shut that place down by now.
• If I worked at a shoe store and had to endure the same conditions she did, I would have quit or sued. Then again if I worked at a shoe store I probably would have quit anyway.
• There's no way that that many trendy stores were in one strip mall. If they were just going from store to store they should have ended up at a Chico's, or a Dress Barn, or a Culotte Corral.
  
• What the hell is going on with the girl's socks? Are those cuffs and ruffles? Someone actually thought that was a good look?
• Ummm...yeah, if I were the girls friend I would have said something along the lines of, "You just spent the entire afternoon and God knows how much money on this make-over and now you're hopping onto the back of a dune buggy with the guy from the greasy spoon across the street. Good choice."

So obviously, a little bit of different viewing experience than when I was eight.

Wow

I'd just like to preface today's entry by saying that I am ordinarly a very understanding and compassionate person. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you that, while I am a smart ass, I'm a pretty good guy. I'm pretty much only saying this now because what I'm about to write will probably make me sound like an uncaring, heartless bastard...but really, I'm not.

Today I thought since my friend Brad has a hall pass (read: wife out of town) for the week and is coming in to grab food and a few beers tonight, I would go ahead and take the Red Line home instead of my usual bus. Even with the five block walk it's faster, so I'll have time to hang my suit and tie up as opposed to falling asleep on them when I come home at God knows when.

As usual, I was able to get on a Red Line with no delay right after work today. Even better the car I was getting into had plenty of empty seats, so I thought "Rock on!" Well I, along with the other half dozen poor souls that got on with me, realized that there was a reason for all the open seats.

Now let me preface everything by telling you about my sense of smell. It's pretty good. I've been able to distinguish which type of Old Spice High Endurance body wash my poker buddies wear. I was able to tell what my coworker was eating from Panda Express without having to see it. My biggest pet peeve is my clothes smelling like food because I inevitably smell it for the remainder of the day no matter what amount of Febreeze I use.

Anyway, my olefactory senses were suddenly assaulted by what I can only describe as a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the nose. I looked around and, sure enough, found the source of said roundhouse kick. There were a couple of grocery bags full of trash and a bag woman in serious need of a shower and change of clothes. Seriously folks, this was a moment where I was envying the guy that has to take out the trash that somebody forgot about last week at a bad Indian restaurant. Cat diarreah on your rug after said cat eats food from the aforementioned garbage bag would have smelled better than what I was enduring at that moment.

To make matters worse she had her back turned away from me and I had no idea what it was she was doing. More than likely she was just trying to rest, but I've seen some weird shit in my time. Like one time, I got off the Red Line at Washington and turned, looked and saw a homeless man pulling up his pants and throwing a plasting bag full of "something" toward a lightpost. The bag went "splat" and not in that fun Double Dare kind of way either. That was a fun morning. So, now I have that going through my mind and I start wondering, "What if she does throw shit at the rest of us? Is there any way I can dodge that? Why did I bring my golf umbrella, I'll never get that open fast enough. Will that come out of wool? As long as it doesn't get in my mouth I'll be ok, right?" Yeah, I'm pretty whacked, I know.

Anyway, I start looking around and realize I'm not the only one having issues. The girl sitting next to me was valiantly trying to read her book, but I'm sure I saw her start dry heaving a little. A trixie sat down behind the homeless woman and the look on her face was one of pure dispair once she realized that she got blocked in by another passenger and couldn't get out. I was seriously having difficulty breathing through my mouth. My chest hurt the same way it would if I had 100lb weight on it, or if I was trying to watch Paris Hilton act.

I tried to do my sudoku and make it to my stop, but I just couldn't. I ended up switching cars at the Clark and Division stop. It was just too much to bear. I saw some of the other passengers get off at the Fullerton stop and they looked like they were ready to lose it, especially that Trixie.

Anyway, I wish there was something I could have done to help her, but I have a strict no homeless interaction guideline that I follow when in confined spaces. Hopefully she gets some help one of these days and I'll be praying for that.

March Madness is the Super Bowl of Sports

This is my favorite time of year...March Madness. Small and mid-major conferences start their tournaments this week, with the big conferences kicking off tournaments next Thursday all leading up to the Big Dance. The first weekend of the tournament is like my birthday, New Year's, and Christmas all rolled into one. Add to it this year St. Patrick's Day falls on that Friday and that's just a recipe for disaster good times.

Why, you may ask, does the Madness afflict me so? Well that's easy:

1. This is the best sporting event of the year. 48 hours of basketball in the first four days, where it's "play or go home" for everyone. Everyone plays harder, and even if there's a blow-out, there's always three other games to watch. Not to mention the inevitable upsets and Cinderella stories. Seriously, how could you not love it?
   
   
2. Betting: bracket pools or otherwise. I would expand on this but discretion is the better part of valor. If you want more info just email me.
   
   
3. The food and drink - how can you go wrong with specials like the one below? (see Thursday below)
   
   
4. I have these days off work and am usually in a bar where there's no chance of getting cell reception. Do I have to go into what happened last year? Ok fine...
   
   ...I had the first two days off for the tournament as I traditionally do except this time I had a huge project due at the end of March. (Setting that project date was my first mistake) Suffice it to say, I ended up having to come in on BOTH days. Not only that but on Friday I ended up stuck in the server room until 9:30 p.m. I felt like Dante, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" But I digress...
   

Luckily I have already secured March 16 and 17 (Happy Birthday Mrs. Hutchinson!) as personal days off work, so I couldn't be more excited. Traditionally the weekend is structured as such:

Thursday - 11 a.m. to 11ish p.m. - Hit Durkin's with Steve for the all you can eat and drink special. For $25 you get all you can drink domestic drafts and all the Domino's pizza you can eat. Not only that, but they also rearrange the bar so that in addition to the bar's usual TV set up, each table has its own small LCD TV with satellite hook-up.

Friday - 11 a.m. to ?? - I'll usually hit another all you can eat and drink at another bar to catch the rest of the games. Once work lets out the rest of the gang meets up and we carouse through the rest of the night.

Saturday - 11 a.m. t0 ?? - At this point the old liver is in a hurt locker and needs a bit of rest. Not to say that I'm not out watching the games somewhere, but I probably won't start drinking until later on in the afternoon. To be honest, in years past, I usually overdo it on the greasy bar food as opposed to the beer. There's something about pizza and chicken wings that I can't pass up.

Sunday - ?? - ?? - In the past my church service was always around 10 so that I could make the early game. Now it starts at 11, so either I go to the early 8:30 service or I miss the first half of the 11 o'clock game. Either way, this is a recouperation day where I usually suffer through CBS' coverage of the games.

Now, there are potential issues this year. If Team America (the volleyball team that I play on) makes it out of the first day of the play-offs, we will be playing the night of Mar. 16. This will put a severe crimp in Steve and my plans for the day, as we've been asked not to show up to any more games inebriated. Second, St. Patrick's Day is the 17th. I'm not sure how this is going to impact the proceedings, but you can bet that they will. Third, it's Lent and that will limit my meat consumption on Friday. Are you allowed to eat corned beef or not?

So, whatelse can I say? This is my favorite weekend of the year, hands down. Now if I can just find the number for that liver transplant place...