iPod Update

I'm still under the spell of the Kaballah curse. Resetting and restoring did not work yesterday. My advice to anyone that finds themselves in a position to restore their iPod (i.e. send it back to factory settings, thereby losing your library): reformat the unit first. It'll give you the cleanest possible starting point, and it's a step that I wish I had taken when I could still do so.

Fortunately there's been progress and I've made two iPod discoveries today. First, my iPod is still under warranty. Therefore, for $30 in shipping and handling, I can send my iPod to Apple and have them fix or replace the unit. I have to admit that I was sort of looking forward to buying a new video iPod but, alas spending another $300 is not to be.

The second discovery that I've made is that for a pedestrian city like Chicago, where the majority of people take public transportation (at least in my neighborhood), your music player is like your car. You have individual make and models just like in automobiles. Headphones are like rims, cases are paint jobs, and just like cars you can have an number of features on the inside.

For iPods alone this comparison is apparent. You have the compact cars (Shuffles), the Cooper Minis (Nano's), various mid-size (full size iPods with grey screens, color screens, photos, etc) and the luxury class (video). Don't even get me started on the old school hoopties that you see out there.

So, if it seems like I'm a little wrapped up in my CrackPod, just substitute the word car and you'll know what I mean.

Oh iPod, why have you forsaken me?

It has not been a good week for me and electronics. They just don’t seem to like me anymore. Last week, my laptop at work decided that it would 1) stop booting up or 2) immediately power down as soon as it got past the Windows loading screen. Luckily we were able to swap out my hard drive and drop it into a spare shell we had laying around. I still lost half a day at work, but in the grand scheme of things that was ok. So I was able to be fairly laid back about the entire process.

What now has me nothing short of apopleptic is the fact that my CrackPod has decided to go the way of many a Chicago politician and become corrupt. Namely, on my way back from lunch today, my iPod decided to completely lock-up. No amount of resetting or updating brought back my library and in the end I was forced to pull an Old Yeller and take it around back and put it down.

I am now the proud owner of a 20 GB iPod that has a grand total of forty two songs on it. I’m pretty sure I have everything backed up between my two computers (work and home), but my faith in the CrackPod has waivered and it will take time and effort on its part to regain that trust. The crappy part is I now have to go through my work-out, the kickboxing class I teach and the commute home without any tunes. This could be interesting…

I have a sneaking suspicion that I know what happened. After recently uploading music from Clare’s account the CrackPod began acting up. More specifically, only after deleting a song on the playlist from the Material Girl did things begin to go downhill. My thought? It’s Madonna’s Kabbalah curse that’s killing my CrackPod.

Superfriends Unite

I'd like to know when all of Clare's friends are going to be in one place at the same time. I think it would it be a hell of a good time and we should make that happen as soon as possible. Meagan (who I've met), Cara, and Leslie! What do you guys say? And no, I am not sober right now!

Team America: Week 7 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

Ok, so let me get the bad news out of the way for everyone. Yes, we lost our match last night 2-1. Yes, the other team was short players so they played five instead of six. And yes, the other team had just gotten back from Uncle Julio's where they were having margaritas. So to sum up, we lost to an undermanned, drunk team two games to one.

I'm not sure whether I'm more upset at the loss or the fact that Ali wasn't at the game last night so Steve and I totally could have drank before hand. At least that way the rest of the team could have blamed it on us. Seriously though, what can you say? We definitely didn't play our best game, the roof and those pipes got in the way more times than I care to count and we again had serve receive problems. On the plus side we rallied back from 10-0 in the second game, pushing them all the way to 15-13 before they won. We also won our first rally score game in recent memory, so that was also a good thing.

With the end of the season and the playoffs looming I am willing to uphold my proposition to the team from last night. Come out and have a shot before next week's game, and if we win all three games I promise to wear a skirt and tighty whities for the playoffs. So to summarize:

Ok, so maybe that's a bit scary, but seriously it's our last game of the regular season and we're not going to be able to celebrate after the game, so let's at least hang out before hand.

As if the idea of me in tighty whities isn't funny enough, here's some more:

Only 78 more shopping days until my birthday. Here's an idea for a gift.

This is why I vote Republican.

First there was Chuck Norris, then Mr. T, now...Jack Bauer.

College Stories: Oh, McKillme how I love thee!

Call me a lemming, but after reading the other college health center rants I thought I should throw one of my own in.

McKillme (or McKinley if you were so inclined) once diagnosed my friend Brad with bronchitis. Luckily he showed up when he did, because the doctors there apparently misdiagnosed another student earlier that day with a collapsed lung when he really had bronchitis. This worked out to Brad's advantage because if you have a collapsed lung you get admitted to the hospital, have a tube shoved through your back and into your lung, and are generally miserable for days on end. Instead they gave him some antibiotics and sent him on his way.

A couple of hours later Brad's roommates were running from room to room trying to find him because, surprise, surprise, McKillme misdiagnosed him. He actually had a collapsed lung, and should be found immediately before he passed out. So now we have a guy with a bad lung, somewhere on a campus larger that some people's home towns, and he could be ok or he could be moments away from passing out. Good times.

Suffice it to say, we found Brad or rather he found us. He came back to the dorm after getting his antibiotics prescription filled and we sent him on his way to the hospital. Lucky Brad, for the next week he had a tube stuck up his back into his lung. Good times.

Now in McKillme's defense they did do some things right. They gave you free tussin and condoms twice a month. Some would argue though, that they didn't give you enough of either to be effective. I of course would be one of them, since I love the tussin.

Team America: Week 6 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

Ok, so after taking one on the chin last week by losing three games to Come From Behind, Team America came back in solid fashion last night. We took two of three games against the last place team in our league last night. Now in all honesty, we should have taken all three games, but I'll get to that in a second. There were a lot of good things that happened last night and I'd rather talk about that first.

1. Sarah as setter - All around solid job as setter. She made some really good decisions at the net, whether it was sending the ball over on two or putting up the set. Speaking of which, when she did set they were good balls that the hitters (myself included) could put down (not that we always did).
2. Matt’s digging in the back row – Way to show complete disregard for your body Matt. I haven’t seen anyone commit their body to a dig like that since I played in the sand leagues.
3. Both girls playing all three games - I know you were probably getting a bit tired by the third game, considering neither of you could rotate out for a break, but still, good job.
4. Back row coverage – Good job to everyone on covering the back row. We were short handed but the moves made back there were decisive and few if any balls were actually dropped.
5. The second game - Our serves were dropping in, our serve receive got the first pass to where the setter got get to it in good position, and the hitters killed the balls that were put up for them.

That being said there were a few things I observed that I’m concerned with. Please keep in mind I committed most if not all of the following so I’m not just pointing fingers.

1. Serves –A number of serves went into the net, especially in the third game. I know our team can defend against anyone in this league, so we need to just put the ball into play.
   
2. Cinderblock Feet – Just like any sport, when you’re on defense and you’re back on your heels you’re going to get beat. That happened last night on serve returns, dinks, errant passes and the like. Stay on your toes and get ready to move.
   
3. Quicksand – This is probably our biggest problem and over the course of three seasons we’ve done it time and time again. We’re behind in a game that we really need and we start trying to do too much or we become too tentative. This leads to balls in the net or going long on spikes (yeah, I don’t even know how many of those I had) or balls going into the net or out of bounds on serves. We start to get tentative on digs and look at each other with that “I thought you were going to get it” look when they drop in between us.

I can live with the first issue, sometimes you’re on a hot streak, sometimes you’re on a cold one. The second one, well we just need to remind each other on game days to get up. It’s the third that concerns me most. Honestly I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to hit the home run and get us back in the game and we tend to forget that on any given ball you’re only dealing with one point.

Should we play with intensity? Absolutely, but we should stop trying to do so much with each swing of our arm. Play our game and do what we’re good at. I know it's hard to try to relax and have fun (believe me I know, ask Jim about the people on the company softball team I threw bats at after a loss) but we need to do something besides get down on ourselves.

We're heading into the playoffs soon and I know that we can rise to the occasion and not just win our first playoff game ever, but take home the trophy. No need to do it alone, that’s what the rest of the team is there for. So let's relax, have fun, and beat the shit out of everyone we face from here on out.

With that being said, I know I didn’t bring the funny in this blog so here’s some to make up for it:

The Oprah – Tom Cruise interview how it should have been

Dane Cook on Jimmy Kimmel

Get elected to Congress get a free subscription to Hustler

Is that more Valentines-y?

For all those that thought I was being a smart ass with the previous picture here is one of the two of us instead. I just want to state for the record though, that I love that previous picture and even have it hanging in my office.

That being said, here are some Valentines that you might consider sending next year.

Happy Valentine's Day!

That's my baby, and I love her.

Team America: Week 5 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

In a possible preview of the league championship game, Come From Behind defeated Team America three games to none.

Things looked good for Team America at the start, leading CFB by four points in the first game. It was obvious that TA was playing tight, as the look of anticipation for this game was obvious on their faces. Mathlete and Tron effectively shut down the male hitters from CFB, but service returns became a problem later in the game. With serves coming into the middle at waist or chest high, getting a good initial pass became problematic.

More problematic was the absence of Captain America at this week's game. It is only known that Jim was on the road earlier that day, but his whereabouts at game time were unknown. The addition of the up-and-coming triple threat (hitting, blocking, dancing) could only have helped Team America as they dropped the first game 15-8.

The second game brought more of the same, with CFB getting lucky rolls of the net that caught Team America out of position. A highlight of that game came when the girl in the black shorts (GBS) accused Mathlete of setting the serve, which is illegal. Instant replay supported Team America claims to the contrary, but in the interest of good sportsmanship TA offered to replay the ball. GBS relented and gameplay resumed, with GBS targeting Mathlete on many of the ensuing hits. Up to the challenge, Mathlete was able to get the dig on these, unfortunately it was not enough and Team America fell 15-12.

Having already lost the match, Team America tried to salvage one win to retain the number one seed for a second consecutive week. Falling behind early, CFB began toying with Team America, calling out Tens for backrow hitters. Unphased Team America rallied to tie. TA hitters put away balls impressively, from both the strong and weak sides. Line Judge's cross court hits kept TA in the game, while Tron and Macho League kept pounding away at the middle. On one hit in particular, Mathlete stuffed it down a defender's shirt, which fired up Team America. When the game went into rally scoring, Team America responded. TA scrambled well, and defended the net better than they had all night. Unfortunately, it was not enough as Come From Behind lead the entire way, winning 15-13.

While obviously dejected, Team America remained positive during post game interviews. The continued "body sacrificing" play of Furby, along with the emergence of Skewers and Bismarck as setters were high spots in an otherwise gloomy day. "We can only get better as a team" said interim captain Mathlete. How this match will impact an already tight race at the top of the league won't be known until complete results are available from last night's other games.

Next week: Team America faces Road Kill (4-8)

Two'fer

First Point: I've become that guy they make bad sitcoms about, or worse yet, movies that Jimmy Fallon would be in.

So, I was supposed to go to the gym last night but instead I got hung up at work and didn't make it home till later than expected. Now, I did make it home in time to change and immediately run out the door to the gym, but instead I sat down on my couch. The next thing I know I'm pulling my face away from the drool that's pooling up on my leather and realize that the class has already started and there's no chance I'm going to make it to the gym.

Instead I decide to catch up on some TV that I had missed and decided to do an emergency load of laundry. Now, the driers in my building suck, unfortunately they didn't suck enough to dry my clothes. Long story short I wake up this morning to still damp laundry. This is most unfortunate since all of my boxers were in there. Now, facing this situation most men would either A) put on damp boxers, B) wear the boxers they were already wearing, or C) go commando. I instead go for hidden option D) Microwave your boxers until they're dry. After two minutes those boxers were perfect and I haven't felt that good on a winter morning commute in years.

Second Point: I've somehow avoided having to celebrate major holidays, birthdays and Valentine's day with a girl for over six years.

That fact is at once a source of pride and of anxiety. Sure, for the past six years when my buddies have tried to figure out what to get their girlfriends I've been able to sit back, relax and laugh. Now in the last four months I get blindsided by love and a girl that's pretty good (some would say f-ing awesome, and I would be one of them), and I've celebrated Christmas, New Year's, a birthday and now Valentine's Day.

Thankfully Clare doesn't like celebrating Valentine's Day, which is nice, but I still can't help but feel a little rusty when it comes to this stuff. Seriously, how do you know what to give when? The last thing I want to do is rush things or come up short. Oh well, I suppose we'll just figure these things out as we go. In the meantime I hope Clare is looking forward to the dinner I'm making for Tuesday night.

My favorite Greg stories

My friend Greg called me last weekend asking me to stand in his wedding. Now, of course I said yes, as Greg is one of my oldest friends, having known him since freshman year of college. That being said, our relationship hasn't been one without its notable stories. Here are the pick of the litter.

• Any of the LAR jail breaks. Getting out of the all-girls dorm after hours without the RAs finding you was always a challenge.
• Almost getting the two of us in a fight with Tracey's (you remember that psycho redhead don't you?) best "friend" after she and I broke up.
  
• Greg talking about how the concrete ceilings in Taft were poured.
• The "mess" he made in his hotel room at Pam and Duby's wedding. I hope that Captain Morgan tasted better on the way down than it looked on the way up.
• The time he drove up from Springfield for my 25th birthday, just to come out to my party that night.
• That time he drove up to Chris and I's apartment and his car died because he forgot to turn his lights off.
• The "move" he put on a certain friend of mine at a certain former roommate's wedding.
  

There are definitely more, but these are the ones that definitely come to mind. Congratulations Greg and Jamie!

Team America: Week 4 Report

Team America plays in the intermediate indoor volleyball league for the Chicago Sports and Social Club every Thursday night.

In another dominating performance, Team America swept league leading Digheads three games to none.

Coming off of a bye week that gave their coaches plenty of time to gameplan against the Digheads, Team America looked sharp sweeping the first place team through the three games of their match Thursday night.

Following strong performances in their last outing against Safe Sets, Matt Lehman was a particular stand out. Furby as he is known to his team mates, lead the team in serves and spikes at the net. Attributing his performance to his "I try to touch tall things" training regiment, Matt led an all around strong performance by Team America.

In a switch from previous weeks, Team America used a three setter formation, utilizing two additional setters. Not only did Bizmarck and Skewers acquit themselves well at the position, at multiple times they proved more apt at breaking on dinks than the regular setters Tron and Mathlete. While only time will tell if this rotation will gel, it seems the team was more relaxed utilizing the third setter.

Notably missing from the game was enforcer Bryan "Macho League" Stroh. On a number of occasions it was obvious that the opposing team was attempting to agitate Team America and take them out of their gameplan. While they were able to maintain their composure, TA would have benefitted from the presence of the added muscle Macho League brings.

Serving a three game suspension for being the first player in league history to use their skate as a weapon, Macho League vowed not to change his style of play to satisfy the league or their sponsors.

Several times during the match Captain America received the eye from his wife, and fellow Team America player Ali "Line Judge" Jacobsohn. Who should have had their eyes open were the officiating crew at Thursday's game.

A number of calls going against TA were questionable and why more penalties weren't assessed against the Digheads is something that an unnamed league official has said "raises great concern. You can be sure that tape of this game will be under review at league headquarters."

Next week, Team America faces the new number one team, Come From Behind.

Dat Laffy Taffy

Things I learned in Atlanta while looking for Clare's fruit cup from Chick-fil-a...

• Chick-fil-a rocks. I don't think I can emphasize this enough.
• A 300lbs. man eating hot dogs and humping the turf at the Georgia Dome, all while nearly 200 marching band members play Run It is what I call entertainment.
• There are limits to even my eating prowess. Chips, salsa, and cheese sauce followed by a brisket chimichanga for lunch. A mid afternoon snack of coca-cola cake. Buca di Beppo with calimari, fried mozzarella, fried shrimp, meatballs, bruscetta, veal marsala, pepperoni pizza, ravioli, and spaghetti. I'm just waiting for Kevin Spacey to come kill me for symbolizing gluttony.
• Have I mentioned the Chick-fil-a waffle fries? Awesome.
• Marching bands are cool.
  
• Drivers in Atlanta are horrible. I'm convinced that their drivers ed programs are an N64 and a copy of MarioKart.
• Every man in America now owns their own set of poker chips.
• When a friend you haven't heard from in a while calls you in the middle of the night it's one of two things: 1) They need bail or 2) They just got engaged. Either way a warden is involved.
• Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets make McNuggets taste like McCrap.
• If blind-folded, I'm 100% certain that I can pick out Clare's voice in a line-up...as long as her sister isn't in it, then my chance go down to zero.
• Nothing puts a kid to sleep better than a car ride. It worked in my day, and it works now.
  
• Everytime a Buca waiter or waitress showed us outgoing food at our kitchen table, I felt like I needed to tell them, "You did a good job, now go show your mom other table."
• Children's daytime television may be more addictive than crack and crispy cremes combined. I don't think I'll ever fully recover from "Mary had an accordion..." especially after Lee sang it a half dozen times on the way to dinner Sunday night.
• Even at 75 mph it is acceptable to try to find a way out of a car if your girlfriend decides to start confessing things to her family while all of you are in that car.
• I love goooold!

And the most important thing I learned in Atlanta...

• When your girlfriend's family is as nice as Clare's, meeting them for the first time isn't as nerve wracking an experience as sitcoms would have us think.

Thanks to Hutch, Jennifer and Lee for putting us up and putting up with us for the weekend. I won't speak for Clare, but I had a great time meeting the entire Hutchinson (and Ezell) clan.