Call me a lemming, but after reading the other college health center rants I thought I should throw one of my own in.
McKillme (or McKinley if you were so inclined) once diagnosed my friend Brad with bronchitis. Luckily he showed up when he did, because the doctors there apparently misdiagnosed another student earlier that day with a collapsed lung when he really had bronchitis. This worked out to Brad's advantage because if you have a collapsed lung you get admitted to the hospital, have a tube shoved through your back and into your lung, and are generally miserable for days on end. Instead they gave him some antibiotics and sent him on his way.
A couple of hours later Brad's roommates were running from room to room trying to find him because, surprise, surprise, McKillme misdiagnosed him. He actually had a collapsed lung, and should be found immediately before he passed out. So now we have a guy with a bad lung, somewhere on a campus larger that some people's home towns, and he could be ok or he could be moments away from passing out. Good times.
Suffice it to say, we found Brad or rather he found us. He came back to the dorm after getting his antibiotics prescription filled and we sent him on his way to the hospital. Lucky Brad, for the next week he had a tube stuck up his back into his lung. Good times.
Now in McKillme's defense they did do some things right. They gave you free tussin and condoms twice a month. Some would argue though, that they didn't give you enough of either to be effective. I of course would be one of them, since I love the tussin.
3 comments:
Apparently you're only allowed two "wounds" per semester. I mean, wounds serious enough to require the wound care kit listed.
So did the health center call to tell you about the collapsed lung? How did Brad's roommate's suddenly discover that? And how does one randomly get a collapsed lung?
Gee, urine sure flows languidly.
My friend Nick was told he had scabes. He thought "scabes" was an STD and couldn't figure out how he had gotten it. It's not, by the way - it's a different kind of nasty. He sterilized everything, called his Mom (who freaked out, because she also thought it was an STD), then went back to the health center because the Tussin wasn't working. I think someone in the waiting room (probably a pregnant girl with mascara in her eye) suggested maybe it was something less serious. Yup, he had a simple case of hives from being stressed and nervous about a presentation. At least he wasn't pregnant!
Tussin sits timidly, tempting usage.
On the plus side, McKillme was always open to suggestions. A friend of mine went there with a sore throat and fatigue. The doctor said, "Oh, you probably have strep throat and mono," and started writing a couple of prescriptions. She said, "Don't you want to do a throat culture and a blood test?" He looked a little puzzled, then went along with the tests. Turns out, she had a chest cold. Maybe the doctors get kick-backs...
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